It’s probably good to revise delusional beliefs, whether they’re causing you immediate problems or not.
3 Likes
Processing and working through my issues. Was revisiting things all weekend.
I’ve noticed an increasing synchrony or resonance between natural cycles (for example, astrological cycles) and my internal changes.
It got to the point where sometimes I would feel or notice a significant change in my mind state, and then go to check what might be going on at the macro-level. That is what led to my getting relatively convinced and “onboard” with this whole Mercury retrograde thing.
Here are the remaining Mercury retrogrades for the year:
- April 21 to May 14
- August 23 to September 14
- December 13 to January 1, 2024
So we’re in one right now.
For this particular one, I’m doing my first longer washout. Wasn’t a plan; it just happened to line up that way.
But for the next two, I’m thinking that it might make sense to plan my mini-Healing Retreats to coincide with Mercury’s retrogrades. My mind seems to naturally be going back to process past difficulties and challenges. It seems to be drawn to shadow work. And so on and so on.
I mentioned somewhere else on here that although I’m not running Dragon Reborn right now, my mind feels like it did when I was processing Dragon Reborn. And so, I think it might make sense to coordinate the retrograde period with Dragon Reborn. If I’m going to be deep-processing anyway, why not get some power into it.
So, maybe at the end of August 2023 is when I’ll do my next Healing period with my two Healing customs: Drakari Transcend and Pools of Healing. Haven’t played them since June 2022.
3 Likes
trust the cycle, my friends
has not it been so?
that every previous time of despair and darkness, was followed by one of hope and opportunity?
2 Likes
I don’t want to be the man you admire
I am not a slave to your so-called ‘respect’
I want to be the man who I admire
4 Likes
my need for your approval blinds me to who you are
your weaknesses and your strengths become “about me”
my apparent dependence on you is actually a subtle expression of my passive egocentricity; my self-centeredness.
2 Likes
Was processing anger and hurt last night.
Didn’t get to run because schedule is in the busy phase right now.
But I did go out for a brief walk. There are two different parks with pull-up stations and it takes about 10 minutes to get from one to the other. So I did one set at the first, walked over to the second did another set, and returned back to the first for a final set.
First set: 13 pull-ups. I’m back on the rise.
Second set: 11 pull-ups.
Last set: 10 pull-ups.
I always do L-sits or supinated pull-ups or as close as I can get to them. Just a more efficient workout.
It felt very satisfying, and it felt good. Like doing something honest and tangible with my anger. I love it.
The most pull-ups I ever got to were 20 or 21. I described somewhere above how I messed up myself by trying to do too much with biceps curls. And since then I’ve never gotten back to 20. But I know i can.
Thanks to @Yazooneh for the reminder about Bulletproof Knees programs. I’ve been doing bodyweight squats (simple), and I already feel decreased inflammation in my left knee. Awesome. Gradually, I’ll integrate more of the leg-strengthening that protects the knee joint. And I’ll be integrating Bulletproof back exercises as well. All of these require time, so we’ll be going gradually.
It has just always felt honest and good to go and work, get tired, and go home and then do it again. It’s always been therapeutic and emotionally-driven for me. That’s why I don’t usually work out with anyone else. I’m having an emotional experience. haha When I bench press, I’m focusing emotion. Interaction pulls me out of that. Harder to focus.
Okay.
Finished two meetings today. 'bout to go back home and work from there.
6 Likes
This inflates my heart beyond imagining, I’m so happy to see how you manifest a superb body with the superb mind you have, and the way you approach working out has a certain flow to it, it’s beautiful to read about! You’re the best!
3 Likes
Sometimes sweat feels like the only honest thing in the world.
2 Likes
Today’s run felt harder than I was expecting.
I thought it was three 13 minute runs, separated by 1 minute. And by the time I got to the last one, I was thinking, ‘That 13-minute run feels more like 15 minutes’. But as a rule, I don’t really watch the clock. I just let the automated voice tell me, ‘Run now.’. and I say, ‘Yes, master.’
Got home, showered, and sat down, and then it occurred to me to check the run I’d just done, and I saw that, ‘Okay. They were 15-minute runs.’
Feel a little better about that now.
Those 6 little minutes made a difference for me.
Happy about that.
Grateful.
3 Likes
On the other hand, that left me no time to do bench press tonight, because I’d left myself too narrow of a window, and I knew there wouldn’t be enough time to get in all of the sets.
I’m feeling kind of good though at the prospect of a doing a raw bench set tomorrow, without running first the way I usually do. The run is a good warm-up; sending life-giving blood all over my body. But I also want to see how I do on the bench when I’m coming in cooler. So hopefully we’ll get that chance tomorrow.
Those three little pull-ups sets from Monday night actually blasted me. I’m feeling sore lats two days later. That’s encouraging. Looks like it doesn’t take that much too stimulate growth right now. So, I’ll do the same thing again once I’m not sore anymore. Pull-up at one spot, walk to the other spot, do some more, walk back to the first, and do a final set. Later, when my muscles have adapted more, maybe I’ll be able to add it more sets. And maybe I’ll ultimately be able to run between the stations instead of walking.
1 Like
My ignorance is my best friend.
Remembering its presence protects me from complacency and hopelessness.
How can I be complacent or self-satisfied when there is so much that I don’t know? How much is there to do or to contribute that I am simply forgetting or ignoring? How can I be hopeless when there are so many perspectives and resources that I’ve never even tried?
My ignorance places a gentle hand on my shoulder and reminds me:
Keep learning.
5 Likes
1 Like
2 days into my third week of washing out. Having very “interesting” manifestations. A mixture of Dragon Reborn and Chosen.
I’ve had numerous interactions and feedback in the past weeks that have felt very aligned with the Chosen archetype.
The thing is Chosen is not in any of my current customs. However, the custom that I created likely does have a lot of overlap with the Chosen archetype. Also, I think that the Chosen archetype is very much aligned with my own personal archetype. My style of leadership is facilitative and inspiration-based. And my deep motivation is to connect people with their own strengths and internal resources. I have always been this way, even when I was 4 or 5 years old. So, I suppose this makes sense.
I also seem to have gotten a strong Polyglot manifestation today.
By combining Chat GPT generative functionality with a voice-to-text online service and a software application called Work Audiobook. I’m able to create and utilize my own personalized monologues and study materials. For now, I’m focusing on Cantonese.
I think it will work great for constructing the linguistic structures and proto-structures in my mind that will enable easier learning of Cantonese as I’m out and about in the world. It puts the power in my hands. Pretty amazing.
4 Likes
I cannot emphasize enough how amazing this language resource is.
And I pretty much improvised it and put it together over about 20 minutes using random tools that I have come across.
2 Likes
Having a mild Awakened Perception manifestation.
Actually two now that I think of it.
I realized that there is a subtle awareness associated with the physical presence of a person in my living space. I was not paying attention to it, but one of the people in my home left for a long-term trip, and I just noticed that there is a change in atmosphere. Not good or bad necessarily; just a shift.
And, I also noticed a kind of atmospheric shift around last Friday/Saturday, when the mercury retrograde was kicking off.
Interesting.
1 Like
Wow that’s genius, you’re literally living like a wizard in the modern age.
1 Like
Lots of deadline work over the next 14 days. Funny how that coincides perfectly with my washout period.
But tonight I insisted on going for another workout.
Finally.
Was about 3 or 4 days late for bench.
Wanted to go on Wednesday, and then on Thursday, but finally ended up going today.
First, did the run. Was so much more comfortable this time. Got a little more sleep last night, that probably helped. Ran 4.5 miles with two 1-minute walking breaks stuck in the middle.
Then bench:
2nd set was better than the first for some reason. Don’t know. Maybe grip wasn’t right or something. Either way, another decent workout in the can. Another drop in the bucket.
I feel lucky to be able to workout at all. So there you go.
Got another meeting tomorrow morning. 3 hours. But it should be good. Then I’ll try to get back to my own tasks.
1 Like
2 Likes
Pretty cool. Feeling soreness in pecs after yesterday’s workout.
This means that my body is growing. I’ll likely see gains once the soreness has healed.
That’s encouraging.
2 Likes
Today from 11 am to 2 pm, I led another group meeting. There were 6 of us and the purpose of the meeting was to take stock of and integrate what people had learned and accomplished over the preceding 3 months.
I got the sense that the people in the group were facilitated and experienced insight. I’m thinking about the expression of my Sapiens custom, and experiences such as this one seem to be encouraging signs that the custom is being integrated to beneficial effect.
That and my newly energized physical workouts suggest that while the process is gradual, it is also significant and effective.
3 Likes