MALKUTH, Building : BUILDING, Malkuth

[Malkuth]

1. 意到氣到

Where awareness goes, activation arises.

Awareness opens up functional activation.

2. What I’m experiencing is never the world. It is always a map of a reflection of the world.

Thoughts on my walk today.

I finished my meetings by 1:30 pm or so today, and I walked home.

My phone battery was down to 9%, so I didn’t voice record into my journal or listen to anything.

And I found myself in a more observant state.

A bit more bandwidth to attend to somatosensory content.

I find that when I am able to bring just a little bit more energy to awareness, life feels more miraculous. Or more accurately, the ongoing miraculousness of life is more easily accessible to my awareness.

Reading the document of somatosensory sensation.

[Malkuth]

this very moment will be lost in time

[Malkuth]

These days it’s taking a bit longer to go into and come out of meditation.

[Malkuth]

I’m noticing shifts occurring.

They’re very gentle and subtle, but I’m noticing them.

Yesterday’s workout:

Yesterday, I also noticed a shift in my consciousness and attention. I first felt it in the afternoon.

I noticed it further in this morning’s meditation.

It’s as if the context is solidifying in a certain way.

After my meditation, I wrote this:

There are millions of processes that make up our worlds: the turning of the Earth, the circulation of blood, the functioning of your gallbladder.

One approach to meditation is to simply tune into one or more of them for some period of time.

That is part of what I sensed happening yesterday and today. I will not presume to be certain of where the practice is leading. But I’ll note it here since it is what I have been noticing.

[Beowulf]

Looks like someone else is also doing a C5K program

[Malkuth]

[Malkuth]

@Beowulf

Looks like someone else is also doing a C5K program

Emperor’s gift.

[Malkuth]

My favorite aspect of Sub Club is the Q Custom store, the periodic release of amazing modules that inspire my imagination and continue to push the limits of aspiration; the freedom to concoct and build my own visions for development and growth.

But, wow; the main store really is looking like a star-studded showroom indeed.

And that’s just page 1.

[Malkuth]

Subliminal meditation this morning

In today’s meditation, my awareness went to areas and memories of weakness and limitation.

That was interesting. Almost like processing Dragon Reborn.

[Malkuth]

Now I’ll get ready and then go to a Saturday morning discussion/meeting.

[Malkuth]

Am currently in one of those stages of the journey when you think:

‘Is this even a journey?’

‘Am I going anywhere?’

So, not posting as frequently or extensively.

From past experience, I know that these are often moments when a great deal of movement and change is happening. So, just go with it.

[Malkuth]

Okay.

So after the sub meditation this morning. I went to facilitate a 3-hour group meeting/discussion. I was familiar with the people there and it was enjoyable. I got them pizza, which we munched on for the final hour.

I walked the 3 miles back home; feeling kind of tired. Guess I got about 6 hours last night.

I slept from 4 something to 6:20 pm.

Then I got up and prepared to go do another run.

But I’ve been having this somewhat hilarious problem. I wanted 140 bpm music to accompany my run. And it turns out that I’m extremely choosy about what music to play. The other day, I got up to take my morning run, and ended up taking 45 minutes to try to get music that I liked. haha. Today was more like 25 minutes. I realized that I’m going to need to put some attention into this ahead of time.

Both times, mind you, I ended up not using the music that I’d spent all of that time preparing. So yeah, kind of hilarious.

Went down to do the run tonight, and did it.

Today, I slowed my pace down very slightly. From 10 kph to 9.5 kph. And it was much more comfortable. So when I got the 28 minute point. I ended up going for a few more minutes.

That’s my mentality. I know that the final workout will be a 30 minute run. And I didn’t feel like having it hanging over my head, so I just did it now. haha. Kind of had a feeling I’d do that.

I got a post-workout euphoria. And that’s pretty cool off of just a 30 minute run. Those friendly little endorphins showing up to reinforce the positive feeling.

The run itself is a kind of cauldron or crucible; a structure within which to forge greater functionality. So that’s beautiful. The point is to keep it up so that–over time–it can give you its gifts.

[Malkuth]

Some running music.

(In desperation earlier, I looped some of my own music and sped it up to 140 bpm.)

Cool part about playing it while running is that I will probably get more ideas for what else I want to do with it. Right now, they’re mainly just extended snippets.

And this one I’d completely forgotten about. But I really like what I was trying to do with the drum programming. That’s something I may go back to and develop further.

What I’m feeling hungry for now is to develop melodic lines. Just feeling ready for it.

[Malkuth]

Phenomenological engagement

Phenomenological facilitation

Consciousness

These are the orientation of my work.

Allow yourself to be spiritual, artistic, internal relative to your career path.

[Malkuth]

Last week I had an interesting two days, when my awareness shifted. I felt that I was better able to tune into some of the natural processes that make up my body. Like digestion, metabolism, and the processes of my internal organs. I also felt more attuned to external processes; like the turning of the planet. I didn’t directly feel it, but I just felt my mind orienting in that direction.

Maybe a ‘trailer effect’? We’ll see if it comes back.

Today, I felt subtly pressed, pressured, restless.

There was a period of time when I felt discouraged. I think I was processing and reconciling.

At one point, I had that thought: ‘How can you be discouraged, when you haven’t tried to do anything?’ The sensation must be about something else.

[Malkuth]

There’s a subjective sensation of being “cut off from” or unaware of opportunities.

It feels artificial.

Let’s see how it unfolds.

[Malkuth]

Things are coming up to a point.

I can see it coming.

I’ve literally asked for this for years now. Change.

I hope that all of the resources I’ve activated over these years will help to see me through.

[Malkuth]

I’m happy that Michelle Yeoh won the Best Actress Academy Award. I don’t usually pay much attention to these things, but, yeah, I’m happy about that.

I’ve been a fan of hers since 1995 with 詠春 (Wing Chun) and 太極張三豐 (The Tai Chi Master). Pretty dope that she has killed it on two sides of the planet.

[Malkuth]

Tonight I gave the same talk that I gave back in December. It was one of the RICH manifestations from back then. Last November/December, suddenly out of nowhere, I was contacted to offer two talks for which I was paid a handsome hourly rate. At the time, it was kind of amazing. But I also laughed because although I was being paid well “for one hour of work”, I ended up doing so many hours of advance preparation for it, that I just about came away with minimum wage. haha.

This time, I was able to spend no more than 1 hour preparing; because I’d already prepared everything the first time. So instead of dividing the money between 12 hours, I was dividing it between 2 hours. Not bad.

I’ll do another one in two weeks. And they’ve scheduled two more in April (if more people sign up).

Interesting.

One interesting detail was that my mind is in this kind of ‘recon’ and disengaged mode. And that affected how I felt during the talk. I almost feel right now like I did when I was running Dragon Reborn. Really makes me wonder what my mind is processing right now from my stack.

I’ve been playing the same stack since October 1. 5.5 months. (3 months on ZP v2). Yet it feels like it’s still just getting started.

Very interesting.

[Malkuth]

Didn’t meditate early this morning. So I’m going to do it now. (Not a sub meditation today. Next one is tomorrow.)

No idea what meditation will be like this time.

We will see.