Get over yourself
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Good job man. I have been considering getting back into barbell training this year after a few years away from it too. I get a bit turned off by the thought of training fatigue and niggling injuries. Your slow and steady method is a smart one, I’ll do something similar.
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Thanks, bru. It feels good. Always got to be careful and hold back in the gym. It’s when I start feeling like I’m in 300 that things start to go left. In the past, the stronger I became the more I was at risk. It’s hard not to get greedy with progress.
The truth is, the secret to my workouts has always been good music. Songs that make me feel a combination of beauty and anger have always fueled my workouts. I’d play some for a while and then I’d need to swap them out when the emotion faded. haha.
Here are some of the songs that have fueled my workouts at various points:
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Our world, exactly as it is, is extremely strange.
You are an animal; an animal.
Think about that.
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Needed to wake up son at 6:15 am today to depart for a several day class trip. That changed the morning routine, so I have not meditated yet today. But it is a subliminal day. I’m thinking of doing the meditation and subliminal hour tonight pre-sleep for a change.
Have been having more mental activity during sleep these days. Dreams and so on. Encouraging to know that things are being processed.
Was particularly noticing Storyteller and Polyglot this past week. Interesting how gradual and steady the expression of various modules is. The slow build continues.
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- 意到氣到
Where awareness goes, activation arises.
Awareness opens up functional activation.
- What I’m experiencing is never the world. It is always a map of a reflection of the world.
Thoughts on my walk today.
I finished my meetings by 1:30 pm or so today, and I walked home.
My phone battery was down to 9%, so I didn’t voice record into my journal or listen to anything.
And I found myself in a more observant state.
A bit more bandwidth to attend to somatosensory content.
I find that when I am able to bring just a little bit more energy to awareness, life feels more miraculous. Or more accurately, the ongoing miraculousness of life is more easily accessible to my awareness.
Reading the document of somatosensory sensation.
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this very moment will be lost in time
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These days it’s taking a bit longer to go into and come out of meditation.
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I’m noticing shifts occurring.
They’re very gentle and subtle, but I’m noticing them.
Yesterday’s workout:
Yesterday, I also noticed a shift in my consciousness and attention. I first felt it in the afternoon.
I noticed it further in this morning’s meditation.
It’s as if the context is solidifying in a certain way.
After my meditation, I wrote this:
There are millions of processes that make up our worlds: the turning of the Earth, the circulation of blood, the functioning of your gallbladder.
One approach to meditation is to simply tune into one or more of them for some period of time.
That is part of what I sensed happening yesterday and today. I will not presume to be certain of where the practice is leading. But I’ll note it here since it is what I have been noticing.
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Looks like someone else is also doing a C5K program 
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Emperor’s gift.
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My favorite aspect of Sub Club is the Q Custom store, the periodic release of amazing modules that inspire my imagination and continue to push the limits of aspiration; the freedom to concoct and build my own visions for development and growth.
But, wow; the main store really is looking like a star-studded showroom indeed.
And that’s just page 1.
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Subliminal meditation this morning
In today’s meditation, my awareness went to areas and memories of weakness and limitation.
That was interesting. Almost like processing Dragon Reborn.
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Now I’ll get ready and then go to a Saturday morning discussion/meeting.
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Am currently in one of those stages of the journey when you think:
‘Is this even a journey?’
‘Am I going anywhere?’
So, not posting as frequently or extensively.
From past experience, I know that these are often moments when a great deal of movement and change is happening. So, just go with it.
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Okay.
So after the sub meditation this morning. I went to facilitate a 3-hour group meeting/discussion. I was familiar with the people there and it was enjoyable. I got them pizza, which we munched on for the final hour.
I walked the 3 miles back home; feeling kind of tired. Guess I got about 6 hours last night.
I slept from 4 something to 6:20 pm.
Then I got up and prepared to go do another run.
But I’ve been having this somewhat hilarious problem. I wanted 140 bpm music to accompany my run. And it turns out that I’m extremely choosy about what music to play. The other day, I got up to take my morning run, and ended up taking 45 minutes to try to get music that I liked. haha. Today was more like 25 minutes. I realized that I’m going to need to put some attention into this ahead of time.
Both times, mind you, I ended up not using the music that I’d spent all of that time preparing. So yeah, kind of hilarious.
Went down to do the run tonight, and did it.
Today, I slowed my pace down very slightly. From 10 kph to 9.5 kph. And it was much more comfortable. So when I got the 28 minute point. I ended up going for a few more minutes.
That’s my mentality. I know that the final workout will be a 30 minute run. And I didn’t feel like having it hanging over my head, so I just did it now. haha. Kind of had a feeling I’d do that.
I got a post-workout euphoria. And that’s pretty cool off of just a 30 minute run. Those friendly little endorphins showing up to reinforce the positive feeling.
The run itself is a kind of cauldron or crucible; a structure within which to forge greater functionality. So that’s beautiful. The point is to keep it up so that–over time–it can give you its gifts.
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Some running music.
(In desperation earlier, I looped some of my own music and sped it up to 140 bpm.)
Cool part about playing it while running is that I will probably get more ideas for what else I want to do with it. Right now, they’re mainly just extended snippets.
And this one I’d completely forgotten about. But I really like what I was trying to do with the drum programming. That’s something I may go back to and develop further.
What I’m feeling hungry for now is to develop melodic lines. Just feeling ready for it.
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Phenomenological engagement
Phenomenological facilitation
Consciousness
These are the orientation of my work.
Allow yourself to be spiritual, artistic, internal relative to your career path.
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Last week I had an interesting two days, when my awareness shifted. I felt that I was better able to tune into some of the natural processes that make up my body. Like digestion, metabolism, and the processes of my internal organs. I also felt more attuned to external processes; like the turning of the planet. I didn’t directly feel it, but I just felt my mind orienting in that direction.
Maybe a ‘trailer effect’? We’ll see if it comes back.
Today, I felt subtly pressed, pressured, restless.
There was a period of time when I felt discouraged. I think I was processing and reconciling.
At one point, I had that thought: ‘How can you be discouraged, when you haven’t tried to do anything?’ The sensation must be about something else.
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