Ok, there is some recon going on.
Right now I feel like I should just “give up” on chasing her all the time.
It’s the kind of childish “well, you dont suck me dick, so I dont talk to you” red pill bs.
It’s more from a position of abundance and, “I cant force her, if she doesnt want to, I focus on other things.”
But its also a bit of a painful progress because I FEEL like some feelings are dying out or my heart is closing. Maybe its literally just recon right now, but I am honestly not interested in pursuing her anymore. I have tried for 5 years now. There were ups and downs, and especially OG Wanted testing phase had some REALLY hot moments, but like, this is stealing so much energy from me all the time with a REALLY bad ROI in terms of what she does.
I feel like this might be me letting go of my neediness.
Then again, right now I feel like I should run Wanted again. Not even from a sexual position, but because its good for my streaming business. Maybe I am lying to myself there.
I am not considering a divorce here, I am just giving up on constantly chasing her. I am not even being mean to her or anything.
Maybe this was better fitted in my journal haha, but I feel like those are deep insights from S&S.
Or am I trippin?