Almost finished my first week of listening and some things to report
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I’m becoming a better speaker or at least my verbal fluency is improving . I have certain wit that I can describe as a very absurd but at the same time blunt
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Recon has hit already and makes me feel like not listening to emperor for another couple of cycles was a mistake because of all the benefits it has . (Random side note : I did notice that the romance scripting did manifest itself differently where I would attract women who really needed masculine energy in their lives whereas when I previously rushed to khan stage 4 I noticed that I got large indicators of interest from girls that were my type more specifically girls who have really high standards for men but at the same time don’t really like them)
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The desire to take action has grown and even though it’s not perfect I’ve carried on the idea of getting one percent better everyday .
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Realized that constantly seeking people’s approval is making me weak on the inside and I need to cut it out
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I’ve become really aware of power dynamics and generally got irked when I remembered someone being disrespectful to me last week which at the moment didn’t really bother me
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More masculine aggression and disdain for a lot of social dynamic bs
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Reflecting a lot on my teenage years and realizing that I never really had a problem from others my age yeah people called me annoying and weird from time to time but I think after awhile I didn’t really care . The big nugget did come from feeling like I was powerless in my own home and not being able to have outlets like other teens did . So I’m a certain way I feel like I am trapped in that time period of my life . Even though I’m older .
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started to want to pray more

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