That’s the magic of NSE bro, if you don’t want it then you won’t get it
I’m running SB and altho in some more beneficial ways I am more serious (like I’m taking my work more seriously and I have more drive to show up and crush it), socially I am the same guy if not more humorous and light with less anxiety.
Khan is a tough ride, but quite manageable for me running only 3 minutes so far. But the things it bring up I view as this is some of my baggage and this time I need to release it or change some things or the way I view and do things. Otherwise this baggage will still come up.
Basically it’s like pressure forcing me to adapt and overcome, or give up and go back to old ways.
Are you running New Khan solo? You don’t seem to have public log about running Khan, so there are not many details to go by.
New Khan is rough, no doubt. Just yesterday evening, during washout, a knot full of anger/anguish unwinded in my chest, it lasted for hours, during which I was irritated by the smallest thing, literally couldn’t even stand human voices or birds chirping. But it resolved itself and I was left with a feeling of great relief and inner peace and slept like a baby afterwards. It felt like I just had a great bath/massage. I wouldn’t wish these moments of intensified anger/sheer panic in my chest on anyone, though. But Khan is not described as a walk in the park, right? I have decades of negative self-talk and conditioning from society(a kind of subliminal from the outside that I never chose, unlike the subs here), and to change all of that would require nothing less than an almost psychotic breakdown. Come to think about it, to reverse or change such intensified inner thought loops that had years and years to build up, and to do that within a few cycles, must necessarily be painful, or it wouldn’t lead to different behaviour. You really gotta be fed up with what you’ve had so far.
At other times, the negativity is brought up, yes, but in a way that is clearly meant to show me what I need to reflect and work on.
If anything, my desire to sort my life out and to work towards myself goals has increased tenfold and I feel a quiet inner certainty and ambition at all times. Dreams are also starting to get interesting. Haven’t noticed any change in my preferred music or movies, although I certainly watch/listen less than before. Less screentime, in general.
I’m aiming for 2 cycles of Total Breakdown right now, although it is difficult to plan out these things. You never know if you still need more. But I suspect that we’ll start seeing glowing reviews for Khan by the time most people are on Stage 2. Then again, the success of Stage 2 obviously depends on how well you did on Stage 1. Foundations, foundations.
Doing the same here, and let me tell you I fucking have results every single day. Last night I dreamt of my past, how I literally manifested bad experience while cold approaching when I was younger. Because this is what I’ve been conditionned for since I was a kid : Woman are dangerous.
And it’s crazy how I got conditionned that way while younger brother with a 5 yrs difference with me still don’t like woman, but he doesn’t necessarly see them as dangerous and ended up the wanted guy
St2 is going to be insane! I’ve done 14 days of my stack at the moment.
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