So today (technically yesterday because it’s midnight
) was my first rest day and I’ll just cut to the chase, I had a major breakthrough due to possible recon.
Long story short, something happened that was very annoying and I became fairly negative, especially towards myself. In that negativity (also didn’t sleep that well last night so that didn’t help) I realized where all my “perfectionism” stems from. Stuff from my childhood that got lost in the fray (basically not seeing the forest through the trees) and it’s specific things I hadn’t remembered in years.
I always got heavily reprimanded for common little mistakes and never really received accolades from my parents. Grades, etc. So I learned that I had to try to be “perfect” which of course doesn’t exist. Carried over to adulthood, but really rears its head during Forex trading (would be trading in general but Forex is my choice).
So I would get on myself when trades didn’t work (focusing on outcomes out of my control) which then actually got me to make real mistakes and then it became a negative loop.
Anyway, seriously a major breakthrough and I’ve only had one 30 second microloop of my new name embedded copy of Summertime (with Mountain Breaker). I’m sure Mountain Breaker is a part of this breakthrough, but Summertime is also because recon was smoother.
I’m really looking forward to working Summertime more.


