Running Rebirth with Emperor and Primal gave me recon. Not the worst but still sucks.
Recon isn’t evil, it’s just your subconscious processing/resisting change, but it means the subs are working.
However I don’t feel like having recon right now, so I’m gonna drop it and pick it up again when I feel I’m in a better place to handle it.
Back to Emperor + LBFH (and now Primal)
Can stacking Phoenix with EoG st1 help the healing be more focused on wealth / success healing?
I did 2 loops of LBFH 2 days ago. That’s what gave me that high yesterday.
Thanks for the responses. LBFH focuses on the goals I prioritize most in any sub—nurturing self-love. I want to run Phoenix to assist in helping me execute LBFH. It seems like Phoenix can help with that, based on what you guys say.
With this version it makes me self reflect alot whereas the other healing products would leave me in tears.
It’s my 2nd rest day from Phoenix , and I’ll run loops again tomorrow. But yesterday was very unexpected as far as growth and change showing.
Yesterday, while on a rest day, I noticed that Emperor was activating in me. I ran New Emperor last cycle along with WB, adding Phoenix my last cycle day. But I’ve never had titles fully bloom when I wasn’t using them. And New Emperor bloomed quite a bit.
I was working with a man who seemed to be slowing down while it was still early, and it wasn’t necassary. I remember knowing I could go into an old helpless mindset myself, but I didn’t want that. I also didn’t want to be manipulated by this past escape where I hid in helplessness. Did this activate Emperor? I don’t know. But it lit up powerfully in me, and I didn’t sense any helplessness in me the rest of the day.
In the early afternoon, I sensed me facing a bad mood growing (fear of a pain rising up), and I stayed quiet. I didn’t have tension between me and my coworker since lately I’ve noticed habitual bad choices I’ve made–which quickly distance myself from others. I just didn’t want to create that problem. And I didn’t.
Now I’m going to share why I’m writing this here this morning.
I had a old local friend of mine contact me before Christmas. He, I, and another friend used to meet weekly to play CashFlow 202, which came from Robert Kiosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad). I loved these times, as I was using subs from another vendor then, and my thinking was changed and challenged constantly. Money was one focus I had with subliminals, and opportunities showed themselves regularly. I missed this kind of mutual growth we faced during these times.
He contacted me yesterday, asking if I could come over for a game, and I still had a sense of that bad attitude remaining, but I said yes. That mood was the only reason I questioned myself.
I went straight to his house after work. It felt good, and he shared a lot about his current life and financial plans, and I felt slightly overwhelmed since that inner pain was still showing in me. I actually thought “when do I get my turn?” since he was heavily sharing and processing stuff about his wife (living in 2 separate rooms presently). However, I was there with him, empathically. I wanted to practice how I’d want someone to treat me, and I didn’t hold a silent grudge.
I steered the conversation onto money hangups and–a lot of subliminal processing started showing up in me. I even broke into tears for about 30 seconds once. This was where I was, having kept it inside, just as he had.
Money and relationship beliefs showing themselves
The subject of why I liked my job came up. I’d shared this the same day with my coworker (which may have brought up that unknown pain). I told my buddy (with the same passion I’d shared with my coworker) that I’ve never chosen a job due to the income, which is better than most. I’ve never been like that.
That’s when those painful feelings opened up in me. I hesitated, and I realized…I’ve never held tightly to jobs (or people) since I could lose them at any moment. I’ve been afraid of losing them, so I’ve not put much effort into either. I can always jump up my productivity in a flash at work, but relationships…I’ve been afraid to even try. I imagine pain and abandonment mostly. I’d never seen that connection.
So dating, I’ve not even cared or tried. And in business, that’s why I’m paying for a trading program (I picked it up Dec. 2022), and I’m still not using it. My fear is failing, facing …people leaving me if I fail… so I’ve not tried.
Phoenix has been digging into the roots of the biggest life hangups I have. Abandonment is the root.
And there’s still more work to do. It’s not all comfy. But it IS healing me. Meeting with that friend helped me express myself and process some pain. And we plan to meet again in January.
P.S. We never even played the game. We just sat talking and processing stuff going on in our lives.
One thing me and my buddy kept on mentioning was how we each, respectively, “get in our own way”.
I shared how I’d gotten an email from another friend we used to play with, and we shared our numbers with each other.
But…I never called. I quickly realized I’d sidelined it. Avoided it (getting in my own way). It felt good admitting this with someone who was safe.
I tried admitting something I’ve avoided here where I live to my housemate this morning. I heard “You should have…”
Not everyone is safe to talk to. I knew he’d probably throw that at me, but I ventured to see. No, not with him.
I didn’t hold a grudge. Awesome!
The results from Phoenix were more immediate for me. However ran DR for all stages, Khan ST1 multiple times until I actually looked forward running it, over 2 years on Emperor and full cycle of KB which I’m still running.
Saw my ex-wife 2 weeks ago and she kept commenting how much I’ve changed. We were together for 9 years so she knows me pretty well.
With that background - DR I didn’t really notice the effects until maybe 2 months after I stopped running it. Phoenix I saw and felt changes within 24 hours.
Do you running solo
No - running KB, Will to Power and Phoenix. However updating my stack soon.
The newest log on Phoenix:
So far, I’m getting a lot less introspective about my past, exactly what my hang ups are and why they are there, and a lot more of a sense that some negative things are just not there anymore.
Its odd. I can kind of feel a void where something has been for a long time but I don’t really know exactly what was there.
The trick with fear is : lisen to the fear until fear felt that you have lisen to it fully - then it vanishes
All the best to your Journey Bro
Here a Song for you
Answer is SubClub? 
Oh yeah.
Challenge Accepted.
I totally forgot I wrote this… who knew this words would become so prophetic.
I started listening on january 2nd and I have lots of alone time for instrospection, since on january 1st I broke up with my girlfriend and left home…
Did she cook a bad tasteful dinner?
Hitting too much receon apparently. I’m going to go to strictly running this solo for a while at one three minute loop every other day
One short loop of 3 minutes and I had a sexual, not the slightest bit erotic dream of one of my closest female friends from my time back in college.
When I crushed on a common friend, what led to her cutting ties, she decided she could only be friends with one side and broke with me.
When she married I was only invited to the ceremony but not the celebration.
I woke up this morning, early, and couldn’t sleep, only think about this incident tland the pain it inflicted on me.
Then I was able to let it go.