Realized I put this in the ZPv1 thread and not ZPv2
[quote=“Uber_Elysium, post:1597, topic:12215,
full:true”]
The thing that I have noticed yesterday after the loop of TB from the day before was that I became different in a good way….idk how to explain it but I will do it the best I can.
(As I was writing this I began to realize that the loop I ran also solidified my results from my first cycle, as well as how far I have come since that cycle. There was about a month in between the most recent loop and the loop from the last cycle.)
- I became a lot more professional in my interactions while I was at work with patients. While with co workers I was still my self in the way that I love to make people laugh and what not, but I was more mature in those interactions.
- While I still have “nice guy” tendencies, I felt it start to shift to a more gentleman vibe, rather than a people pleaser nice guy.
- While I have been placing more boundaries out of respect for myself, I am also being more helpful to those around me, but to the ones that are deserving of it.
- Walking slower than usual but somehow I was getting tasks done sooner. Unless a sense of urgency was needed of course.
- People seemed more relaxed around me, especially women.
- Ironically I felt very sexual, but even more in control. I will say that I have had some sexual healing. Note that this is also my 3rd cycle of Khan Black ST1.
- I am also more compassionate and empathetic but in a more masculine way, rather than a nice guy way. Women have actually began to confide in me more, of their own volition, rather than me trying to “fix” them.
- I have experienced growth in my emotional intelligence, as well as understanding and more accepting my dark side. I am no longer bottling up my emotions and I will admit I have actually cried a few times during my first cycle with TB, letting out a lot of negative emotions. I have also been more accepting of my rage. I have bottled up my anger and rage for many years now, and I realized that if I continue to do this, it would have a negative impact on myself and my relationships. I realized it’s just a part of who I am, I need to accept that part of me. Since then I have become much calmer in general.
- Began to respect myself a lot more.
- Humbled me and made me realize I have A LOT of growing up to do.
I was reluctant to share this but I guess it’s for the best , I won’t talk about the event that happened but I will talk about the aftermath.
After the event transpired the following day it was as if my internal world fell apart. I realized even though I have grown as a person……all the changes I have made in the end have been superficial and I have lacked a lot of deep change these past few years. One of the hardest and most emotional moments of my life was accepting that the only one to blame was me and me alone.
However just as it is my fault for my inaction and lack of deep change……it is my responsibility to be the one to make the deep changes, to face myself and my demons, and to become the best version of myself.
Since then I have been doing a lot better and I have been making small changes that are leading into bigger changes, but I am taking it slow and taking it one day at a time.
As I was writing this I made the decision to swear of romance and there for I will be dropping Wanted Black from my stack. There are plenty of physical subs in the store and Khan is enough to help me grow in that field anyways, plus wether it’s for a relationship or just a hookup, I have no desire to be with anyone until I have improved drastically as a man.
Also I am taking a few days off from subs to think about my next move. I have been way to focused on internal healing and while internal healing is great, I need to figure out if I need a more action oriented sub like ST2 or another round of ST1. The answer will come to me though.
I went in depth as much as I did because I wanted to show you guys, that Khan is much more than only romance and sex, it’s a title that will turn you into the best version of yourself. I also want to say that TB is no joke at all, it will break you down just like it did me, but I can already tell just how much better I am for it, and it is worth it.
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