Took a week washout and ran Emperor ZP this week.
Honestly - really don’t know what to make there’s a lot of good and a lot of meeh.
ZP is so much more of an internal, subtle -mental process.
Its less pure force and then get in action, but I am coming to new conclusions that lead to new actions, nothing has landed or made the difference yet, but gaining confidence slowly in really hitting chosen goals.
I realize I have no trust in my ability to hit goals or produce results anymore. So I am consciously focusing on internal growth and building that muscle.
My mind doesn’t automatically think like Emperor the way it did on Q and QV2 but I do feel the strength.
My mind is more looking how I can actually become the Emperor, it’s questioning.
It’s odd because part of me ‘feels’ like Emperor and then I still notice my normal ‘weaker’ thought process
I do see ZP, like all subs, kick in more when I take new paths/choices but the process to getting to that new path is very subtle
As far as Emperor effects.
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The respect, and power on ZP is NO WHERE NEAR what I was getting on other versions.
Like I felt like a god among men, the weight my moves and word carried on previous versions was insane. Not even close on ZP so far. In fact I experience what I consider subtle-to over disrespect- people ignoring me, not fully listening, treating me in patronizing ways, on EQ and EQ2 those were impossible.
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The drive and productivity is way down as well, but it’s still smarter - I’m really questioning and looking at the high value activities and engagements both for quality of life and financial/career future. Although I do procrastinate less and feel less resistance to taking certain actions. And at the same time I have way more resistance to certain actions- in relation to dealing and working with others or things that seem like a waste of time but are also needed.
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Attraction and interest from woman is very high -but I can sometimes feel anxious in relating in a way I did not on previous versions ever feel.
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Finances and career- I’m less and less interested in my job and gaining an independence from it mentally but performing sub-par/ bare minimum, finances have not improved but feel slightly better/indifferent about the situation while at the same time more and more commitment and inspired to take new actions and do things differently- (none of this is particularly new though). Having moments of seeing what I really want and what life could be like. Very slowly it seems like I am laying the internal foundation to really have a shift in this area.
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Learning to set choices and let things go to have other things
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Physical I feel better and more energetic when running this sub, more pushed to work out and take care of myself.
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Focus goes in and out -at times there seems to be a strong ability to zone in- but it’s doesn’t have the intelligence , confidence, ease, and lack of self doubt behind it from previous versions so far.
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Really learning it’s an internal growth and willingness that will lead to new external results.
Recon
- Day of running can get angry, argumentative
- Wanting to say fuck everything -internal disposition.
- Really seeing where I feel and may be perceived as low status-both in other’s eye and in my own view-strong anger at the discrepancies between my self image and how I am related to that doesn’t fit that.
- Strong dissonance between where I am at and where I want to be- frustration and at a loss at times from trying to get ‘there’ using the way of being/thinking/actions I have now-and being at a loss for what to do differently.
I’ve become a little jaded and high bar-in assessing sub results-so I’m going to try to consciously be open to ascribing more changes and value to subs. In the past I experienced so much profound change and results everywhere.
All in all I find Emperor ZP really shifting me to ‘become’ and make the real changes consciously more than another other over the top internal and external -effects/results. I love this on one hand and on the other really like the overt stuff as well.
