TWTP has a different flavor compared to Emperor. The greatest benefit so far has been an almost unbelievable increase in personal power. Unlike Emperor where it’s come on get off your butt and just get it done.
TWTP creates a gap between decision and action. I clearly understand it’s me making the decision. I can choose to do x or y and in so doing either move in the direction of the things I say I want…or not. The level of accountability feels more real to me.
The mindset now is no one or nothing is coming to save me. The latest sub isn’t going to do it, the fancy planner I downloaded and spend time learning to use won’t either - it’s just me.
I don’t have that rush of insane confidence as I have had with Emperor. Just this feeling of vulnerability. I realize I feel very afraid…not in a negative way. It’s just different…the fear has always been there. It’s why I’m not where I want to be. What’s the sense in gaining an of understanding power dynamics at a macro level if I can’t even get myself to follow through on things I really want?
It’s been bumpy but I’m taking consistent action. And instead of waiting for an end point in the future adding and subtracting things from my life that had me feeling really good about things now. Along with the feeling of fear and vulnerability mentioned before is a “knowing”. I know I can do the things necessary to so I can step into this alternate reality I’m creating moment to moment with my decisions and actions.
It’s scary for me. But it feels good. Now I’m also seeing subs as tools for the journey, like training wheels. But all of this is 100% me, these tools just tease it out and show me what was there.
One major difference so far is I treat myself one helluva lot better. My living space feels warm, like someone lives here and actually cares about the occupant
Which in turn my work space is much more inviting. I want to stay and work on my projects and when I do go out it’s for something that truly interests me. Getting more attraction because of KB in my stack but I’m learning to choose myself.
So far that’s been one of the biggest takeaways and lifestyle integration from my short time with this title. 2nd is it’s just me creating this fabulous life I want for myself. Sometimes I’ll be afraid, feel vulnerable, not sure what the hell I’m doing and very likely stumble forward but it’s ok. I will get there.
For me, there’s just something so beautiful about that.