I can see how indifference toward things beyond my control—or that simply don’t matter—is beginning to emerge from that void. But I agree, psychologically, it still feels more like apathy than anything else.
I’ve never gone through such intense recon before, and what’s interesting is that I’m not experiencing the usual symptoms like anxiety or irritability. The only reaction is a kind of existential restlessness—existential in the sense that it’s tied to the core of who I am, not just a passing psychological state.





