I did not mentally notice any difference in horniness levels, more I’d say assurdness. But that also means when I was looking at women, I had had an almost unreal level of confidence which can then lead to mutual attraction and the sensation of being horny. I played the loop when I got there sitting in a sofa.
When you dive deep into masculinity and polarity work, there are many variables in play and it’s not all about having a sexually charged aura IMO, but it is part of it of course. As an example, I do a lot of Metta meditation focusing on the currents of love, masculine love, and regular meditations and Strong Determination Sitting, meaning being the observer, the observer of beauty (masculine trait), receiving attention (feminine trait.)
So you can have the more younger naive guys running around traumatized by sexual shame and porn, and just throws away their energy on every woman they see in sight (I’ve been in the PUA circus years ago, and there’s so much anxiety there.)
I would say that the times I have been out on MDMA is the epihany of that masculine love, masculine presence, the observer and so on is. Problem I found when I used to do that was that I wasn’t that sexual because I was so present so I often left the girl if I saw something more shine like a red lamp or so
So that level of detachment was just unreal, but you get so lost in the moment. Not to say that if you would go sexual on it, it is insane. You become the witness of her feminine beauty, divine feminine beauty, not the characther she plays in this world of masks.
A woman is just a woman, just as a man is just a man. Leaning into your masculine polarity has more to do with the energies and play of polarities than the actual person.
I read the Alabster girl recently, and here is an interesting section from it:
There are four stages in a man’s love for women. The first stage is the simple love for a simple girl, a day-dreaming desire for her and her alone, a belief that she is all he needs to be happy for the rest of days. This is the stage where he is wishing and hopeful and excited, with heel-clicking delight and measured anticipation. What joy! How wonderful she is! This is also the stage that hurts the most when it all falls apart, when his heart is torn asunder, when he spends his days and nights lying prostrate and despondent and heartsick on the floor.
The second stage in a man’s love for women arrives when he has experienced the euphoria and heartbreak of the first stage a few times. He has fallen in love. He has had his heart broken. Now he tells himself that he is wiser, that he will just date for a while, nothing too serious, play the field, keep his options open, plenty of fish in the sea, and all that. If he starts to see someone and it ends, sure it hurts a little, but it doesn’t cause him to sit in the dirt in despair. Most men spend their entire lives floating somewhere between stage one and stage two: they date a few times, fall in love a few times, get in a relationship a few times, get disappointed a few times.
The third stage is a rarity. Most men will never discover it. But the third stage, if discovered, is a wonderful stage indeed, for a man’s love for women now becomes love of the essence of women, the love of the goddess in women, the love of the divine feminine and everything that this life-giving spirit creates in this world. It is no longer about one woman or even about multiple women. He has had all that before. No, now he is fascinated by the gifts of the female spirit; he is in love with all women, but obsessed with none. He explores this love for women and their elegance and beauty in a spiritual sense, in a whole sense, in a holistic sense.
Now then, is there perhaps a fourth stage? What else could there be? After all, what is more profound and complete than the love of the goddess in women? I don’t know, but sometimes I think I can see a fourth stage on the periphery of my understanding.
This possible fourth stage is the stage where the only thing that can ever fulfill a man is one woman. One woman who embodies everything he has ever learned to love about women in general. One woman who is the goddess for him, personified. One woman who represents to him the very height of feminine grace and elegance. One woman who understands him and his nature better than he will ever understand himself. One woman who cares about his whole being—his fears, his dreams, his half-hopes, his halting and cart-wheeling aspirations. One woman who sees the greatness in him that he can’t see himself, and his true potential in ways he never would. One woman who inspires him to all loftiness. One woman who is his muse, his sanctuary, his place of rest.
The fourth stage is a full-circle return to the sincerity and honesty of a simple love for a simple girl—exactly what he had in stage one, but stripped of all neediness, obsession, and fear of loss. A calm knowing that she is his girl, and will always be his girl.
Desire for a specific woman, then desire for women in general, then desire for the essence of women, then desire for a specific woman again. This theory rings true to me. Memories are only complete when shared. Maybe life is better as a duet and not a solo affair. A duet, after all, creates harmony.
A little bit short of time, hope that makes sense.