My current stack is Love Bomb + Ascension.
For me Love Bomb makes me love myself, but also makes me feel with low energy and lazy.
Also I show who I am, I’m sad at the moment, because with Love Bomb no one cares about me.
I also lose my confidence, I feel insecure, weak and more feminine.
Ascension looks like the opposing force to Love Bomb.
It makes me feel for secure, confident, with some power, more energy, taking more action, and more masculine.
It doesn’t make me feel sexy which is a shame.
And it also used to feed my Ego which looks wrong to me, but since Love Bomb has helped me dissolve my Ego, let’s see if from now on I can get a power based on love.
When using this combo I also started to overthink things and ruminate a lot which leads to lack of focus.
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So it looks like these 2 subs are fighting each other inside me, but they should be working together. Or maybe it’s my Heart and Brain fighting each other instead of working together and in synchronicity. Any comments?
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I’ve seen people talking in another thread about people who envy the ones that use subs to rise in status and power. Let me tell you that only during my first cycle with Ascension that happened. But when I added Love Bomb at least one person stopped doing that (my gym Coach). And when people try to verbally fight me, try to put me down, or insult me, I show compassion, I just ask “why do you think that” “why, why, why” to try to understand them, I also explain my self for them to understand me, and sometimes there is an agreement, some other times people just deviate from the subject or quit the conversation, but even when that happens I show no resentment, it’s just that they are more limited than me, so I move on.
It’s just a shame that I can’t build a connection with most people in my country, they act indifferent to me, and this is another reason for me to move abroad. In the past in my country I’ve always been considered “crazy”, but after moving abroad I was considered “high quality”. Back to my country, I thought this time was going to be different because I evolved a lot, but I feel I’m failing because I’m not making friends, and I can see that if I would go back in time to my childhood grown as I am now, nothing would be different with the other kids.
And I can’t seem to attract new high quality people into my life.
And being alone and unconnected with people all the time also makes me feel with even less energy, and less motivated to do my organizational tasks to move abroad. Ascension counters that, but I can’t abuse form it or I’ll start having recon.
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I think I’m going to use Love Bomb less frequently than Ascension, because of the bad side effects it has on me, maybe only once every other 3 days. Or maybe stop using it at all, because now that I’m having compassion towards others, and not showing resentment, maybe the power from Ascension will start going into my heart instead of going into my ego.
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I’m going to try to use Ascension every day, but with shorter loops. The logic is the same as when working out. It’s better for our health to workout almost every day, but shorter workouts each day.
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Note that I still show resentment towards people who hurt me in the past, and I’m still very hurt, so for that I might need an healing title like Sanguine - Elixir.