Liminality custom Qv2

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#41

Another quick one. I decided to run my custom again for the second time this week. First time was monday. I’m getting more comfortable with the rest days.

Reconciliation can be a result of disowning parts of you that need help. We all want to be strong, self assured, brave, but sometimes there are parts of us that simply aren’t. By ignoring these parts, shaming myself for even experiencing it, I held back my growth a lot. I’m realizing so much of these subs are parts integration for me. I guess you could say it’s inner child work, but even then there’s a separation. The goal should be complete acceptance of these perceived “weaknesses” and understanding to work on solutions to overcoming them.

AM has been unusually difficult for me because what it was trying to bring me to is the direct opposite of what I’ve been for years. Interestingly enough the reconciliation wasn’t due to questioning the possibility of being that strong confident person, it was the struggle accepting the emotions and feelings I’ve had from a lifetime of not being that strong confident person. That’s always been the dirty secret I’ve felt has stayed with me for years, trying to act like there weren’t parts of me still so terrified of the future, my capabilities as a person, and how I didn’t feel independent. If I couldn’t get over the shame of those things I could never get a good picture of what I need to improve in my life without feeling like it was threatening me in some way.

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#42

If I can be ok with myself and understand the struggles I’ve faced in life don’t need to be explained to others I’ll be fine. I’ve realized the only way people’s opinions on my life can hurt me is if I believe it myself. It’s for that reason I have to build myself up as much as possible and come to a place where I don’t need to be ashamed of how my life has played out.

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#43

I think that Alchemist may eventually be relevant for you to run. I’ve been having some similar dynamics/insights.

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#44

Alchemist I’ve always been on the fence about, but it’s definitely on my radar. I just felt I needed some grounding before I went off on that route.

#45

Sounds like AM might be hitting the spot.

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#46

Yes. I trust your mind to tell you if/when the time is right.

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#47

Right on!:sunglasses:

#48

So I completely forgot and talking about alchemist kind of tripped my memory.

A few days ago I listened to the As Above supercharger. I was feeling really lost and like everything was caving in on me. I knew I wasn’t dedicating enough focused attention towards improving my life on a day to day basis so I went for that supercharger as a sort of concentrated effort to steer things back.

I have no idea if the sudden breakthroughs I’m experiencing are a result of that being the catalyst. But during that supercharger session I definitely placed my focus on manifesting a way out of the hole I had dug myself into. I will definitely be running it more consistently. Highly underrated title. I think the real benefit to it is there’s nothing that gets pushed into the processing queue like other stuff, you’re basically immediately taking action right then and there with energy cultivation. And because it’s simple energy cultivation, it just feels good to connect with that. I like Ultima titles, but even those can feel a bit too heavy. Something about conscious direction and instructions in those superchargers hits different.

I hope subclub has plans for expanding these and improving upon them, I think they are very valuable as a different entry point into consciousness.

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#49

Never really tried those yet.

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#50

Definitely give them a shot. I feel like you’d appreciate them. The energetic differences are interesting as well. I won’t spoil it for you

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#51

How do you use them? What time of day? Do you like to pair them with any activity? Or is it just free-form at any time that you feel like it?

#52

Pretty much free form. I like using them either at night before I go to bed or after I get home from work. Generally after they’re finished I’m floating in this headspace where I feel I can dedicate some really energetic focus towards manifesting. I find they allow me to focus more than if I had my own meditation sessions.

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#53

So I’ll admit, wanted looks highly appealing to me. I’ve always had some aspect of that in my customs as a targeted goal. But in my most recent ones I cut it out because I realized it was actually more of a challenge and conflicted with other goals. Not that I should hold off on relationships or sex, but directly targeting it in a custom seemed to cause a roadblock. But I’m sticking to my custom for now and staying on course.

Anyway for a lot of my life I’ve definitely had body dysmorphia. I feel like AM lately has been pushing the sexually attractive angle with me as well as romance. I’ll admit that when I was younger I was obsessed with getting attention from women. Looking back on in it now, I was definitely trying to deal with the body dysmorphia by getting external validation which was not good. Nowadays it’s more like I just want to be comfortable enough in my own skin and if I do get attention and I like the girl, I can follow through on it without getting in my own way.

I was out at a bar the other day and the bartender was cute. She had some interesting tattoos and she had more of the alternative type beauty going on. I was going to ask her where she got them, but my brain was like “nah, you’re just being annoying leave her alone/ I’m sure she has plenty of drunk guys trying to hit on her asking the same lame questions”. But it’s like, it’s not always what you say. I think that’s my problem. I try to be so original or different than other guys I just dig myself into a hole where I don’t do shit. Sometimes it’s just about creating an opening for her to interact. But anyway she was nice. When she gave me my drink and I thanked her she said “you’re very welcome”, but in an incredibly friendly tone. Just overall seemed to have a very pleasant vibe about her. Thanked her again at the end of the night and complimented her on the cocktails saying they were delicious, she said “Awesome. I’m so glad you enjoyed them!”. Now I know how the service industry works, you get the tips by being friendly so I didn’t read into my interaction with her much.

But all that rambling, my point is I’d just like the confidence to know that not all my interactions with women are unpleasant or unwanted. I tend to project my own self worth outward a lot so I assume I’m bugging them, being creepy, intrusive, etc. you get the picture. Just basically shoot myself in the foot. It’s led me to avoid interactions because overall it’s not a good time for me.

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#54

A strong intellect and imagination is basically a gun pointed at one’s foot.

It needs experiential, active, and physical energy to balance it out.

We need to be stimulated and engaged enough to keep our minds open. It’s like one of those big hot-air balloons. All of that canvas is like the imagination and intellect. It just gets all floppy and tangled up in itself. But when the fire is lit and the whole thing fills up with air and gas? Then it’s a beautiful thing.

Yes, it’s easier to ‘fly’ if you are a smaller balloon. Or just a little piece of plastic or rubber. Those can easily get blown around in the wind. But it’s just as possible to fly with a big one. And you can carry more people.

Intellect and imagination are ultimately a mirror. They reflect experience by processing it. An active intellect and imagination is like a hall of mirrors. There are so many images going on that it’s easy to forget what’s a reflection and what’s the original.

Inevitably, we start reacting more to our own thoughts than to anything real.

I think the answer is to turn up the real. Seek out experiences. Confound the intellect by giving it more chew toys.

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#55

One way to find out is to watch how she interacts with others. Calibrate her response, if it’s any different from how she acts around you compared to others.

She also might be very friendly and hoping someone is going to take an interest in her.

Or she might just be friendly hoping to get more tips. You won’t know unless you observe a bit.

Besides if you are interrupting her, you might be interrupting her from her boredom.

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#56

I was definitely keeping an eye out for how she interacted with others but for the most part she kept to herself. So not much to go on. But it’s good advice.

However I did fail to mention I ran the libertine supercharger before I went out. So that might have had an influence. Hard to say because I have a lot of blocks around this area of life.

But I like this one

I will keep this in mind in the future.

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#57

“Being realistic” is a cleverly disguised mindset when you’re afraid to be ambitious. This was always me. Believing the limitations in my life were my ceiling.

I feel like I’m teetering on the threshold. I’m not there yet, but it feels closer. My ability to go beyond the usual blockages has strengthened. To be honest I don’t know how or why. Which kind of annoys me because I think to myself “why the fuck didn’t you do this 10 years ago?” I just can now, I can “agree” with the subs more. I don’t know how to phrase it anymore than that. Maybe that’s Qv2.

Listening to LIbertine Ultima now. This one has consistently given me issues as far as blockages go. So I’m using it as an opportunity to work through them. Still don’t know how much of the ultimas I can tolerate during the week, but I’m giving it a shot. They are very powerful and I’ve been avoiding them for a bit now. I know the effects don’t usually hit until about an hour after, but I can very easily feel the influence of the ultimas and the rapid shifting that occurs while listening. It’s unsettling, part of why I probably have issues with it because it doesn’t feel empowering. More like an outside manipulating force. But I’m trying to calm myself and get used to it.

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#58

That in itself seems like it could be telling.

Hmm… I’m sleep-deprived… unsolicited (and likely unneeded) opinion warning :warning:

Women who give you attention are not doing you a favor; they’re meeting their needs. (And hopefully wants). If they’re not doing that, run away.

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#59

That is cool. I still don’t know if that’s the same for me. I’m kind of locked into my plans at the moment. I know I got clear results with RICH on v2. I haven’t experimented with many other Ultimas since the upgrade.

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#60

Ah but what if I want her? lol. I get what you’re saying. Truth be told I have a very bad habit of getting infatuated with women that I barely know. One more hall of mirrors effect if I don’t take action and actually get to know them.

Wow, I completely forgot these got an update. No wonder I felt it hit harder. Yeah it’s tough. There’s a lot I want to experiment with, but staying on a consistent path is important. Maybe in the future when things are solidified there will be more room to play around.

Sometimes I wonder if I feel these effects so much because I’m sensitive to it or what I’m really tuning into is the internal tug of war. Like if I was naturally more confident and fearless, would I be aware of it as much? I just find it interesting some people can play these ultimas and have absolutely no sensation of the internal shifts going on. I seem to be hyper aware of those.