I feel powerful
Like I have but to flex my will and fuck whoever I want
Could be delusion brought on by subs 
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I’m not over-the-top horny today. Feels more stable and settled out.
Still feel like I could turn on the juice at a moment’s notice, though.
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Bit of EoG rearing its head while at the store with Lady Palpatine today.
We’re shopping for ourselves for the next few days.
They’re having a sale on sodas (yes we drink soda sometimes. back off.)
The sale is on 2L bottles. 4 for $12 or some such thing.
For one of mine, I grab 7-UP. She says “That isn’t part of the sale”
ugh
she said “I know. You wish all the sodas could be part of the sale, right?”
and I said:
No, it sucks ASS that this is even an issue for us. I’m tired of it. I’m ready to just be able to buy whatever the fuck I want to eat or drink without worrying if I’ll have enough to pay the goddamn water bill
A bit later, we’re in the meat department looking at roast. Beef roast. I said “It’s been a while since we had a pork roast” (I really don’t care for beef roast. Pork is much more flavorful to me)
“Pork roast is twice as much”
Ugh.
I’m doing better $ wise with this new Amazon gig. Just got myself into such a big ass hole (lol asshole) that it’ll still take a while for me to dig myself out.
Ugh.
This isn’t so much “recon” as it is just me being tired of my situation.
I’ve been running Full Khan and Full EoG on alternating days (Mostly).
I don’t give a shit about recon. I stare recon square in the eyes and say:
Come at me, bro.
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I think that, within reason, I’m much the same. I’m more focused on processing and execution efficacy. I can often handle some discomfort, but when I’m not sure if the processing or results are suffering, that’s when I start to sweat.
I just. want. the results!
Relax…Relax…
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Damn that intensity in his eyes…soften your eyes dude
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I’ve been running the full khan on and off. Just did it last night actually. It makes me feel powerful.
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My current stack ended up being:
1. Khan:
- ST1 1 minute
- ST2 2 minutes
- ST3 4 minutes
- ST4 8 minutes
2. Wanted:
3. EoG+Emperor Custom:
ST1 EoG 3 minutes
ST2 EoG 3 minutes
ST3 EoG 3 minutes
Ecstatic Emperor Custom 6 minutes (contains Emperor and EoG4)
45 mins per listening day total
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You run very strange stacks lol 
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I run stacks that work
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I’ve got upgraded Khan downloading now.
Will start Khan over on a brand new cycle.
Going forward, the cycles will be like this:
Cycle 1: Khan ST1, Khan ST4, Emperor/EoG custom
Cycle 2: Khan ST2, Khan ST4, Emperor/EoG custom
Cycle 3: Khan ST3, Khan ST4, Emperor/EoG custom
I’ll decide after that if I want to do a custom with Khan ST4 in it or not, or just run ST4 along with other things.
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Khan got upgraded?
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Yeah. It got the 320k upgrade today.
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So my very first domain I got in 2006 is gone.
I’ve been in a major slump this year, all things considered. Got so lazy with stuff I didn’t even check emails for a while.
Was so motivated last night to actually do stuff. I started going through emails.
I realized I’d gotten emails
“Palpatine, your domain expires in a month!”
“Palpatine, your domain expires in 14 days!”
“Palpatine, your domain expires in 24 hours!”
“Palpatine, your domain expired but you still have 30 days to renew!”
My domain expired in June 6.
I just now realized it yesternight.
Not only did I miss it expiring, that domain is so unused (other than some email addresses and hosting an old blog of mine) that I didn’t even NOTICE it was down!
I did the whole Stoic thing of accepting what happened, told a friend about it. Texted “One less unused domain to worry about!”
But as time passed, I felt more and more like I was grieving. That domain represented my first foray into trying to “figure it out” online.
I still have the WordPress database so I didn’t lose the blog posts.
But I mainly feel stupid that my laziness led to the completely avoidable loss of “my baby”.
Ah well. I ran an audio I have about “deep cleansing” as I went to sleep. To target/aim at the feelings I was experiencing.
Weird dreams ensued, of which I remember nothing except vague imagery of a gray tablet (like the Ten Commandments) but it was broken and I was trying to put it together or something.
I still feel bad…just not as intense as last night.
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Just at post number 6. But I had to scroll all the way down, just to tell you that you’re a legend!
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Was on an unplanned SubClub washout until last night.
Stacked full khan with LBFH in bed.
Ran it again today.
I don’t feel tons different. Although I don’t respond to subs as fast as others. So it might take a few more loops.
I am tired from deliveries today. That’s my dominant feeling. 48 packages, 38 stops total.
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You are powerful 
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No you
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Talked to my mum tonight for the first time in a while.
Usually when we talk, it’s 3-4 hours since we don’t talk often.
Not a bad thing. I just have to sometimes mentally prepare myself as I don’t care for phone talking as much.
I think maybe LBFH shone through somehow. She told me stuff about my stepdad (he died in 2001) which she’s never said before.
Stuff that makes him seem more human. We didn’t always get along (me and stepdad) but I see him more in the light now of a guy who didn’t have all his shit together and still tried.
A bit early for me to say I got this from 2 loops of LBFH. But I’m still giving it its due recognition because I know it’s still to hand-wave away results.
She also basically said she’d like to talk more often. Which in my world is a big thing.
Palpatine is impressed.
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