KHAN + WANTED. Foxdie's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#302

Khan ST2 - Rest Day - (Days done 3)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 8)

  1. Khan ST2 is making me ask a lot of questions about a lot of things. A question that I have been thinking about since yesterday and that I feel the need to know how to create immediate attraction in a woman.

  2. Low sexual desire.

  3. I don’t feel the desire to hit on girls, even if I have them in front of me, I prefer to have fun. Am I running away from my desires out of fear or am I just disinterested at the moment?
    There was various opportunities this night. I really don’t feel the need to connect with people and that doesn’t keep me interacting with them and I don’t get to know them, especially with girls.

  4. My character become more aggressive, I say things in face of people sometimes, I don’t play by anybody’s rules, I am selfish, I am angry and people make me angry easily, and a lot of them make me angry because they disrespect me and I letting them know it. I’m changing fast.

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#303

I suggest you stay on this stage for many months and i believe you should have stuck with your last stack longer before going to this one but you can make this route work if you stick with this stage long enough. Just be ready for a bumpy ride the less foundation you have the bumpier this sub is to the point where it can be miserable. Good luck tho🙂

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#304

Thank you man!

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#305

How many month do you suggest? I was thinking about 3 months minimum.

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#306

Once you feel like a rock internally and you have zero doubt in your abilities and confidence. I feel once you can check these things off in your mind is when i would move on to St3. Moving forward with these issues will lead to very disappointing results and harsh recon .

Ive been on PS and Ascension since June and although i can tell my foundation is growing i know i still need more exposure. So keep in mind thats 5 months and i still feel its not enough.

Thats why i recommended Ascension the most because it not only builds that foundation but you acquire small wins in your life that will make you feel like youre progressing. At times it feels too slow but nonetheless it is growth.

Good luck if you plan on sticking with Khan. Its not an easy sub when your headspace is not quite on the level that the sub requires but i can be done and i wish you luck!:slightly_smiling_face:

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#307

Really thanks for the help. I think I will run Khan alone with Limitless for now.

#308

Khan ST2 - Day 4
Limitless - Day 9

  1. Today’s first awareness is that I have to make better use of touch. I have to touch girls more and at the right time use sexual touches to turn women on. A sexually confident man has no problem touching women sexually and subtly showing desire for the girl. Touch (especially sexual) is the basis of pure physical attraction.
    Tonight I will try the touch as described and see the reactions.

  2. My sex drive is still low. I think reconciliation is doing something that lowers my sex drive, or maybe it’s more in this order: reconciliation → low sex drive → indifference to hitting on women (which disguise the fear I have).

  3. With tonight I feel very confused and bitter. I thought that with a girl I meet from a while in a pub there was some minimum feeling but every time there comes a signal that betrays me and makes me understand that I am not that attractive guy, and my self-esteem falls. I tried to give her a hug when I saw her sad, but she didn’t seem to like it and immediately switched to my friend behind me. My brother said that she just wanted attention because she was sad, but I think she likes my friend. When I gave her that hug I felt stiff and scared, while when she went to my friend she made me feel rejected, it hurts, it wasn’t nice.
    It seems that every girl I put my eyes on in one way or another runs away, but I understand that the problem is me, I can’t be polarizing enough to create attraction in a girl, and honestly when I have facing an opportunity I don’t know how to react to make it in my favor. With women I am not capable, my mind goes blank and I do not know what to say or do, and then everything is replaced inside me by a sense of indifference towards others and I just feel like I want to escape.
    I understand one thing though. Yesterday I was in doubt if this indifference was given by a momentary disinterest in women and an exclusive desire to have fun or if it was just an excuse to escape from my desires … well, it happened that my brother’s girlfriend told me to go to that girl because she needed help and I replied that I did not care, the truth is that the idea of ​​going to stay with her and hit on her made me very afraid, and so I decided to stay away. It also happened that when I was at the counter I was afraid to stop the busy bartender to ask to change me some money.
    In conclusion … I am just running away from my desires, women, and I do it by making excuses to myself, and the indifference I feel is just a defense mechanism to distance myself from women, who for my subconscious are seen as danger.
    A girl was looking at me tonight, but what was I supposed to do…?

  4. Last night I dreamed of being around an evening fire, with me there was a very thin and blonde girl, I liked her, I was looking for her attention and her affection but she did not spin me so much. The more she avoided me, the more I went after her, I felt lost and empowered with her, I couldn’t get her, I couldn’t get what I was looking for.

  5. Sometimes I wonder, what is the optimal behavior I need to have to be polarizing for women and attract them? As I am now, I almost feel like I am repulsing women.

#309

You need more time on stage 1 bro. Grab sanguine ultima to smooth down the edges on your recon. You’re too outwardly focused when your foundations aren’t even set.

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#310

I thought the same thing, but I needed someone to confirm it. I have already done 3 months with ST1 but it seems that it is not enough yet, I still have too many internal problems.

I have tinnitus so I prefer to avoid Ultima for now.

#311

That’s unfortunate about the tinnitus, my father suffers from it. I heard the new qzp method might mean they can do more without ultrasonics but I’m just half remembering a comment I saw.

You’ll probably need to develop a conscious method of sorting and acknowledging feelings to help navigate. Meditation practices of many stripes are great for giving you a framework and toolset to do this. I found vipassana meditation to be a gateway to a lot of self-learning. But you need to find what works for you.

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#312

Thanks for the advice, I’ll do some search.

#313

And if you’re really hankering for feminine attentions you can always get into wine and find some cougars to ooh and awe over the nice young man. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it :stuck_out_tongue:

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#314

Lol I don’t know if I would have the courage to do it, but it sounds fun. :joy:

#315

The beauty of cougar is that you don’t have to do anything :grin:
Great advice by @mountainguy :joy:, go to wine bars or wine tasting events!

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#316

That’s cool lol

#317

Khan ST2 - Rest Day - (Days done 4)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 9)

  1. I had a dream where I was participating in a single-player foosball tournament. I was afraid, it was a rookie between all that people. In the end I got beaten because I got distracted in the last ball, but I got along well.
    Then I was in a small town where I was with a girl I liked and we kissed.
    Finally I dreamed of being rejected by another girl and spirits had to do with this situation, this girl just didn’t want to listen to me and went to the spirit house or something similar.
    I also remember that there were two girls I tried to hit on and they explicitly rejected me, it hurt me that rejection, so I asked them: “Why did you rejected me?” and they replied that I was too arrogant and cocky, but I explained to them that it was not my intention, so sad and disappointed I left holding that bitterness in my chest that made me almost cry resulting from that rejection.

  2. My problem is that with every girl I find attractive, I always feel uncomfortable and need to prove something to them, so how can I have a healthy relationship or interaction with them in these conditions and enjoy the moment? It would be impossible.

  3. After yesterday I realized that I have problems touching girls, I’m afraid to do it and I don’t know how to do it well.

  4. In life, only the one who dares to try wins, because without trying there is no feedback and without feedback you cannot learn. It doesn’t matter if it went wrong the last night, the important thing is that I learned something.

#318

Yesterday:

  1. Today I tried the masked for the first time on speakers.

  2. I have a lot of flashbacks from the past lately of a lot of girls from the past that I liked and that I’ve never done anything with, girls from school.

  3. I was immersed in the “beware of the power you give to girls, never show interest” PUA mentality that I stopped feeling emotions for girls being with them and was bored knowing them as people. I want to open up and really get to know girls, and as long as I’m not desperate and I am confident, showing interest and kindness is good.

Khan ST1 - Rest Day - (Days done 2)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 11)

  1. Today I am quite restless about having and seducing women, I continue to feel a sense of despair of having women and it is since I restarted Khan ST1 that I often think about lost opportunities with girls and other women of the past in general.

  2. I remembered a memory from when I was in school and a cool guy of my class had been rejected from the next year. At that moment everyone was sorry that he would no longer be there, because they valued him well.
    The question that popped into my head is: if it had happened to me would they have done the same? I do not believe …
    Why didn’t anyone care about me and act like this? The problem was that I didn’t leave enough of my mark on other people’s lives, so no one remembered me.
    Heck… I’ve noticed that I have a lot of trauma / bad memories of my teenage times and who I was, and now it’s all leaking out at random intervals without me thinking about it. My subconscious is processing the sub.
    I didn’t realize my teenage years looked so bad and full of shit until these random memories started to resurface… I thought I forgot these things. There is still a lot to work on and I was right to back down from ST2.

#319

Glad to see ST1 showed you it’s value right away. Teen years are really rough, and feelings can be extremely powerful making them hard to handle even later in life.

It’s important to question assumptions you’ve adopted because of past experiences, especially ones tied to traumas like being rejected or failing at something. ST1 makes you feel that failure/rejection until you agree that you won’t fail again. Or that you’re different and won’t be rejected again. Or at least it feels like that to me.

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#320

Khan ST1 - Day 3
Limitless - Day 12

  1. I found it an immense effort to wake up from bed today. I woke up and I still feel tired.

  2. Another memory of my adolescence appeared in my mind, of that time when I went with the other guys, in a pub, with the balcony, perhaps that time I did not feel at ease and I often went out with the boys of the village where I lived with whom I was always uncomfortable because I always felt obliged to show them something and I never saw myself at their level. The village where I lived as a child was made up of very judging guys who made me always live under stress, beyond my already low self-esteem at the time (or who knows, maybe it was also the fault of their behavior). I never felt comfortable with them and I was never myself, I often felt like a fish out of water, but back then they were the only people I could hang out with. The village was small and we had grown up almost like brothers, but they were toxic.

  3. Since I have been using the subs via speakers or laptop I hear the effects more. For example in these two days I am more motivated to study (Limitless) and then there is the fact of the continuous memories of the past that emerge at random.

  4. With Khan ST1 I feel calmer and more peaceful at the moment unlike Acsension which always made me feel irritated, angry and blew me with the concept of Alpha, taking it too far, but I think it was also my problem, because I was given a power that I couldn’t handle. The good thing about Acsension is that it made me feel like I had two balls as big as watermelons, I was a pure real man.

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#321

Khan ST1 - Rest Day - (Days done 3)
Limitless - Rest Day - (Days done 12)

  1. Other memories from the past

  2. I feel a strange discomfort in my chest. When I think of a girl from last night a little voice tells me that I would not be able to deal with her. I’m still insecure with women.

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