Beg my nerves to forget
Till they barely feel
Lie to my skin when it’s screaming
Say it’s just designs
Call the ache a kind of hunger
Like it’s something I can dine
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𝐖𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈—
𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐬
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To have a virtual based connection
is to abstain from the legal rights of your body.
When the body is deprived, it troubles the mind.
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don’t make me practice being alone
Sometimes I wanna sever
every single one of my CLOSE TIES
I ruined my own life
I knew I just had to do shit
Or else I was gonna lose it
Habit of my anger getting the best of me
Gimme ketamine before I rage on machine
Oh my! She’s a dirty *, I don’t mind
Won’t find a new body when the host dies
I think a lot of people don’t really know what they are capable of. They don’t know what is right for them. They just sort of take what falls on their lap. I think it might be fear. Fear that this is gonna be the last thing you’ll ever have. That nothing better will ever come your way. Why be scared of that? If anything you should be scared of limiting your life. For settling for something you never even wanted. Why not take the risk?
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I wish I had ways to express anger more
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Say my name
The way you said it at the beginning
when it meant the world to you
you only listen when I hurt you
Sex and drugs sex and drugs
And I’m above none of it
I’m as weak as the next
Drooling at the counter hounding
I learned young it’s okay if she doesn’t love me
Looking through two eyes that never felt less trusting
Trust me when I tell you it’s disgusting
Very few people actually know and accept the nature of human kind. And feminine sexual nature especially. It can be deep down disturbung, perverse and disgusting. People don’t like to think about it. Mostly because we had lied and wrapped it in a nice cover for so long - pretending it to be the opposite - the good the innocent the pretty. I only knew of few who had seemed to not be ignorant of this. Totally reconed btw.
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You always talk about how you would
change the world and reach the people
but you lack necessary shred of humility
to be a leader instead of a tyrant
Every choice I made, I would proudly make again
We live alone and we will die alone
Let’s experiment and see if a monster drink
can make recon go away the same way as water can.
If it can, it means I will never have to drink water again.
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When did comfort turn to craving?
When did wanting turn to need?
Pulling further - pulling me
You crawl under my wildfire skin
every touch is gasoline
love was just a spark back then
now its tearing through everything
I can’t hold this in
you keep feeding what I
can’t control
You say “This is what we wanted” - is it?
Hands around my shaking throat
I say “I can’t breathe inside it”
you tell me don’t let go
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How did it go?
I managed to not drink any sort of liquid my brother. Sorry. I’ll let you know next time.
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Ever since Khan Black I am starting to experience fomo. I want to go out and interact with people. I want to get drunk and do stupid shit. Have interactions that feel weird or close. And I don’t think that is something to be pushed away. But only imagining that doesn’t necessarily bring me comfort. I just feel envy wishing life could feel simple again. Just you, in your home town with few friends being dumb together.
Kind of “imagine if you just stopped everything and did this instead?”… just go back and start over from there. Future for me feels too uncertain and my ego just wants to find a place to run back to from all of that uncomfortable stuff. I have to accept and sit with it every day when I think of where I am even going. Doubts are eating me up.
Now I’m just daydreaming to cope with it imagining I’m somewhere else. Living a life that most people imagine under FOMO term. And it’s an intoxicating thought. Part of me just wants to run away. I won’t but man…
You can do this. There’s no one way for life. You can do both, but you got to figure out how to leverage it. You can’t do more of one than the other. When you do it, make sure you’re making the right choices.
If you’re guessing if you’ve made the right choices, give up on that thought. You’ll never know if its the right choice, no matter what, everything you think, your brain/self will second guess it. Even what you’ve made the “right choice”, you’ll still think you’re missing out on something. Just stick with your choice and keep going with it. This applies to FOMO, sub hopping etc.