Khan Black so intense I haven´t touched subs for a month now even though I was always planning to. I believe it is the greatest sub SubClub has made. But the cover art of it is precisely how it can be to start it. I was not this challenged possibly ever. Yesterday I kind of realized how things have gotten harder over the past few months mentally for me. And I also realized it was not going to get better. I assumed this would fade over time but I see now it will not. Hence why I am returning GLM. It has been so intense. I´ve imagined making decisions in my life I would have formerly been too scared to even say out loud. I am constantly questioned in my own mind. I question my life. The trials I have chosen and never questioned formerly. Sometimes I feel a temptation to just leave it all behind and go after the easiest, quickest, most short term alternative. Just to be free. Even if it means being alone. I do not plan on acting upon these thoughts. But I do sometimes just want to throw my life plan away so I do not feel the dread of uncertainty anymore.
Honestly. I would highly recommend you watch or read bleach. It has such an amazing story build. You’ll notice a lot of interlink.
Bankai, zanpakuto, Hollow and many others are very detailed. Zanpakutos to Bankai are represented as personalities and ego. It’s so amazing. (Started watching this early 2012, as an adult rewatching/reading it, you’ll be amazed)
Edit: If you like this check out - Ajin Demi Human, Choujin X, these two explores human nature. Choujin X is my most fav, it’s higher than Tokyo ghoul for me (Written by the same person).
Also 1 last manga, It popped up in my mind while at gym. Check out Holyland. It will change your life in my opinion. It’s better than berserk etc. It’s more realistic for people struggling with fitting into society and self image/esteem issues.
Edit: The same author has a manga called suicide Island. Again really good outlook on human nature in a place without laws. It’s getting an English translation soon after 15 years+? (Got the Japanese manga already.)
This author is known for great stories. (He worked on berserk as well as an assistant/is currently working on it as well. Him and Miura Kentarou were best friends.)
Edit 2: I’m going to reread it now : )
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I’m such a hater wow
When you gave yourself one cycle of wealth subs to get your life a financial buff but out of nowhere you remember that you´d still rather be a broke edgy khan hottie 
𝐖𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈—
𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐬
To have a virtual based connection
is to abstain from the legal rights of your body.
When the body is deprived, it troubles the mind.
don’t make me practice being alone
Sometimes I wanna sever
every single one of my CLOSE TIES
I ruined my own life
I knew I just had to do shit
Or else I was gonna lose it
Habit of my anger getting the best of me
Gimme ketamine before I rage on machine
Oh my! She’s a dirty *, I don’t mind
Won’t find a new body when the host dies
I think a lot of people don’t really know what they are capable of. They don’t know what is right for them. They just sort of take what falls on their lap. I think it might be fear. Fear that this is gonna be the last thing you’ll ever have. That nothing better will ever come your way. Why be scared of that? If anything you should be scared of limiting your life. For settling for something you never even wanted. Why not take the risk?
I wish I had ways to express anger more
Sex and drugs sex and drugs
And I’m above none of it
I’m as weak as the next
I learned young it’s okay if she doesn’t love me
Looking through two eyes that never felt less trusting
Trust me when I tell you it’s disgusting
I can’t hold this in
you keep feeding what I
can’t control
How did it go?
You can do this. There’s no one way for life. You can do both, but you got to figure out how to leverage it. You can’t do more of one than the other. When you do it, make sure you’re making the right choices.
If you’re guessing if you’ve made the right choices, give up on that thought. You’ll never know if its the right choice, no matter what, everything you think, your brain/self will second guess it. Even what you’ve made the “right choice”, you’ll still think you’re missing out on something. Just stick with your choice and keep going with it. This applies to FOMO, sub hopping etc.
I wish that I could lie
But my mind gets in the way
Where do you muster all that respect for me?
I truly do not understand.
Pathetic
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