Ok guys so I’m starting my journal on the Khan subliminal and I’m kicking things off with St1 and I plan on running it for 300 hrs. At the time of writing this I am on 39 hrs of runtime and currently on Day 14. Ok so the reason I’m running it for so long is because I know I need a ton of healing which I’m hoping 300 hrs can accomplish that.
Day 14: I didn’t plan on making a journal for this stage but i have noticed some strange occurrences. For starters I notice that I’m starting to feel more like shit but it’s because I’m not running away from the triggers that make me feel that way it’s almost like I’m confronting it head on and I’m getting my ass kicked in the process. Look I know everyone has a different journey but on my specific journey my insecurities and lower sense of self worth stem from things that I have absolutely no control over changing. For example one of the biggest things im self conscious of is my really small head and it sucks because it’s one of those obvious things that I have no control over and one of the biggest things about me is I love fitness and lifting weights but due to my small head I can never get past 160 lbs without beginning to feel even more insecure about my overall appearance so basically my dream of getting big and being able to bench 400 lbs + is never going to happen and this is what khan sf1 seems to be intensifying. I know we all have insecurities but mine just stems from something I can’t change,it would be nice to have ones that I could change but this is one that I have to fight every day and find a way to accept myself for,I feel like that in addition to me looking like a teenager greatly affects me and my interactions with women because it’s almost like they don’t take me seriously like as if I’m just a kid to them and I would love for people to look at me as my age.I wonder if this is the kind of stuff Khan st1 will help me heal in. Well now that I finished that rant back to the journal and I want to say that the strange occurrences I’ve been having are that I’m actually remembering more of my dreams which is weird because I can never remember them but they have been dreams where women find me desirable. One of the dreams I recall was being at a party with a lot of dudes I was sure women would pick over me but for some odd reason they were curious and interested in me. Then as the dream progressed I found myself in the presence of the two most beautiful and high status females at the party which I then found out were sisters and they were known as the Khan sisters and next thing I know they tell me you have Khan in you and we can see it but you have yet to see it. That in itself was a bizarre dream to have considering the timing that it’s happening so I’m certain st1 has something to do with this. The other strange occurrence was when I was thinking of an old acquaintance whose last name is Khan and began to wonder how he was doing since I hadn’t seen him in about 4 years and oddly enough I drive past him on the way to work the next day . Now I’m not sure these are related to khan but they are just to bizarre to be ruled as coincidences. Has anyone had experience like this while running Khan.?
Btw sorry for the long post I promise not to make them all this long but if you made it to the end I appreciate it and any feedback.