Khan - A path less travelled

Journals - Major Programs
#123

Update 11 days into my stack

Khan St2 ZP
EoG St1 ZP
Sacred Heart ZP custom.

I have definately noticed a no bullshit-myself attitude. As soon as I find myself in any kind of negative thought pattern I tell myself to stop, release, realign, smile, and continue with the rocket of my desires. I’m also practicing a lot more mindfulness and gratitude than I have been doing for a while.

Khan Total Reprogramming is going deep deep, and I keep reminding myself to just go along with it and to accept the neccessary mental rewiring. EoG St1 is still only played with low minutes and 1-2 times a week just to get some healing in there as well.

Sacred Heart is really such a great custom, the best one I’ve done so far. When I play it my whole body relaxes and fills me with jubilant feeling of joy and happiness. For me it’s one of the cornerstones of an actualized masculine man to radiate an abundance of strong healthy masculine love. Combine that with extreme relaxation and grounding, and you have a great base to build other masculine mindsets ontop of it.

Sacred Heart ZP

Love Bomb
Blue Skies
Transcendental Connection
Chosen of Venus
Depths of Love
Love Without Attachment
Gratitude Embodiment
Starfilled Night
Emotions Unfettered
Mercy Protocol
The Wonder
The Flow
Ethereal Presence
Elegance
Divine Self-Image
Harmonic Singularity
Everpresent
Intuition Enhancer
Current Invoker
The Architect

True Social

Last saturday I tried 7 minutes of True Social before I was going out to the city. It’s been a while since I tried this one and I must say it is stunningly good. I became super present and entered into a flow state almost immediately, and I had this halo effect on people I walked by.

Also noticed how my perception changed to a more present state, kind of like a kid that just looks wherever and at whoever he wants without pre-thought and judgement. It is such a nice state because everything seems fresh because you are so unattached and just curious of your surroundings. Imagine looking though a cone, and when you turn to look at something outside of the borders of the cone, it’s fresh because it has not been in your peripheral vision beforehand.

At the bar I met woman that was slightly older than me, and straight away I just adored her energy. We ended up dancing for hours at the place, and my focus never left her as if our little playful dance was the only thing that existed. There was a lot of sexual tension there but not for one moment did I think of some kind of end goal with her, it was that kind of presence between us.

It was such a wholesome experience and we both were so blown away by this whirlpool of masculine and feminine energy just dancing together. For sure there was somthing deep at a soul level present that night between us.

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#124

Just some random thoughts coming up regarding CWON. I tried a loop a couple weeks back but that’s all.

The way we are thinking as humans is usually in a linear way, but nature is not thinking in a linear way and is not a linear system, it’s more of a cyclical system… so applying our linear thinking to nature seems a little bit off if we want to understand it.

What if we could reorient our thinking back into the way nature actually is, because we are also nature, but we have been conditioned to see the world in a different way.

In a non-dualistic way I’ve understood that we need to get out of the idea that we need to get somewhere to attain something. We are the Atman and therefore we should already be enlightened, and who knows… maybe we just made up a little game which we call life playing hide and seek with ourselves?

I probably should go to sleep now… :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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#125

Ok going to bed did not go so well lol…

After having commented in @Malkuth journal about health and doctors and the way they are taught, and then having some rambling in here about nature and man, I stumbled over this interesting video.

A lot of confirmation Bias in this one, and the good old habit that we have of not wanting something out of our own understanding to be true beacuse it will completely turn everything we know up side down.

I always wondered why over the last couple of years we were told to “follow the science”, when we should not take it for face value but challenge it and eveolve it. If not we are taking it for the absolute truth and further learning is cut off.

These small syncronicities happens to me all the time nowadays. It is like a small chain of events or information that pops up in a certain order in which they all relate. Before I would not have connected the dots and they were probably always happening before as well, I just lacked the awareness to see it.

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#126

Wow, thanks for @-ing me. I didn’t even know that this journal was here.

Looking forward to catching up on it.

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#127

Bars!

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#128

This morning the syncronicities continued. I saw a video with the title: Make your mind like nature. It was by a man who saught out a high level buddhist munk who told him to go out in solitude in nature and watch wild horses.

Above is what I wrote yesterday :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

In a way funnily enough that was kind of what I did last year, I moved out to a small cabin with horses outside of the window which I used to watch for hours.

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#129

Karma is always accurate, even if it doesn’t seem like it. All of it is feedback, and the best way is to turn it in to wisdom. The only way that you can actually be of service to anyone including yourself, is to give unconditional love and forgiveness.

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#130

On the grind today: Khan Total Reprogramming. Been out a lot today in the sun and the weather is just awesome here at the moment. The sun exposure is for sure helping and it also has a calming effect.

Swedish holiday tomorrow and most people are out in the countryside celebrating. I will probably go out a bit tomorrow, I like when the city is less populated during these times. Thinking back, there’s actually been years since I was celebrating this holiday in a traditional way.

Khan is still at times making me feel completely lost, but also there’s an inner guide and I’m very effective at spotting inner negativity and to steer it back on track again. Part of me want’s to play something more spiritual in tandem, but I know that it will dilute Khan so that will have to be later, probable autumn or winter.

Reminding myself that I need a good masculine foundation first…

foundation

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#131

1 foot ahead of the other bro

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#132

Thank you friend :pray:

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#133

I went out to the supermarket to shop some groceries. I could feel the processing of Total Reprogramming, but also I felt Zen and relaxed. One thing I noticed that I want to expand a bit on is the eye contact.

The main reason for me playing Khan at the moment is that I want to really dig deep into my maculine side and my sexuality, and get it handled once and for all. It’s not hard to see why I have struggled in life with these two when I look at the society I grew up in and its values.

At the supermarket I had that steady gaze when looking around, a gaze that is non-reactive and just observes everything going on around me. That gaze is not looking for approval or trying to justify where it looks. To some it is simply too much and I see many micro expressions on people’s faces, its just like you see their shadow sides.

The feeling is just steady and confident overall, and the gaze is not trying to change what it sees or hoping things were different. Khan is an inside job, and that’s how it has to be to reap the benefits in the long run, the inner must change first…

That is something I love so far with Khan ZP, that inner voice that keeps on communicating with my old self from a higher position, the place where I want to get to.

The kind of confident and relaxed gaze I’m talking about is very masculine, and in my opinion when paired with a strong loving and kind heart is just OP. I’m talking about that unconditional love that one experiences on MDMA, it is total flow. So, in a way the gaze on said MDMA is also relaxed, observing, and very little judging of others going on… it is an inside job.

I remember the first time I tried it at a night club years back. It was back when I was into “status” and trying to to be cool lol. On that stuff I experienced ridiculous amount of courteous behaviors from others. I would litterally come to a choke point where only one at a time could pass, and people coming towards me would litterally start walking backwards smiling and gesture with both hands for me to pass before them… crazy times…

And everthing in that state is just in your little bubble, you are only engaged in things close to you, and most of all there are no worries what so ever. Hm, where have I experienced that before? :thinking: … :baby: :child:

So to tie everthing with my little post here together. A Khan that is more cold and not as much centered in his heart and love, he will make people he meet more afraid(but always respected) and more hesitant. Nothing wrong with that, but to me that is not what I’m aiming for.

But if you add that strong masculine love and protection combined with that raw, and dominant energy from Khan… that is when you become truly inspiring in my eyes. This is the reason I made my custom Sacred Heart from the beginning.

It is interesting, as I was at the store, I noticed this disconnect with some, it was too much for them in a way. But TR is processing and installing of beliefs heavy so I get that. And some women when you look at them it is just like time stops, and that happened a couple of times as well.

After I have really conquered my sexuality in the form of Khan, I do believe I will lean more towards Chosen, but that is way in the future. And lastly, relaxation is everything…

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#134

For me its WANTED

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#135

Just dropping here some Swedish cookie :slight_smile:

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#136

I’m back here in this journal again. Last week or so has been very rough on me, and especially the last three days that has been a washout. The reconciliation has been keeping my body in a lethargic state over the last couple of days, and I felt like doing nothing. The feeling is that Khan TR has really gone deep and affecting things in my energetic system and body and it takes some time to get used to it.

Signs of progress for sure… I will update a bit later when my mind feels a bit clearer.

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#137

As I’m writing this I feel a lot better than the last three days. It might be just a combination of subliminals and very warm weather, but my body has been feeling a lot of fatigue and brain fog. I’m back at the state where my vision has changed a bit and the outside world looks different and not as bright as I remembered it.

Further my circadian rhythm seem to always find night time to be the most productive for me, and this is something I have experienced my whole life. Better ideas just seem to pop up late.

And so cycle nr.2 of: Khan St2 / EoG St1 / Sacred Heart ZP begins…

Looking back at the last cycle in June, I feel that Khan really had its way with me and making me feel quite lost at times. But what it did give me was a sense of no bullshit attitude towards myself. When I hear that little voice inside that complains, I can easily just catch myself and stop it in its tracks.

The way I see it is that it is the old me that wants to cling on to the known and the comfortable world I have been living in. So I treat it as I’m the parent of that little inner boy, and I’m coaching and teaching him to grow up.

Khan Total Reprogramming

Khan has also been dealing with one of the oldest blocks I have. That is ever since I was a kid my preffered way of coping with hardship was to whitdraw myself from other people and the world.

From what I remember when I was a kid, I always used to take my bike into the forest and sit on top of a hill or a big rock formation just overwatching the city. I guess that’s why I found so much peace last year living in nature, it really took me back…

I don’t ever think I will change from being a bit of a lone wolf, but I do believe that I can find a way of resolving my old past issues and become a lone wolf that is never lonely, but instead full heartedly can express himself socially and create the kind of social life he wants to have.

Because when I fled away from my problems when I was younger, I also did hide from people that were close to me, and in a way this made me feel stuck and not being able to express myself.

This is something that I have noticed at times lately on Khan, that when I am out among people I like to take charge and to do what it is I truly want. When I do that I become very attractive and I easily enter a flow state. But on the contrary, when I close off I send out this subconcious signal of unavailability to others. This makes for quite interesting reactions while on Khan.

The result is that people mostly look nervous or are a bit intimidated if they don’t know me(which is 99% after I left all my old friends.) To my small self this can be taken as there is something off. I never get any disrespect almost from anyone but also there’s a disconnect because people never stick around.

I know now that this is because of this subconscious aura of not being available(non-approachability aura lol), the one that I have perfected ever since I was a kid. But this also makes it so interesting because I can feel this and know that Khan is attacking this old limiting belief head-on atm.

Ultimately this may also be why I’m feeling so lost at the moment with this whole thing, because when this coping mechanism withers away, I can’t hide behind it anymore and therefore the social world looks vastly different now…

Lastly, lately over the last week or so a lot of old friends and family has been contacting me and I have been ignoring most of them, and this is a clear sign of reconciliation and a test for me I have realized.

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#138

Ran my loop of Khan Total Reprogramming today with 3 minutes of the upgraded Love Bomb ZP. I did this to see if it would spill over to my loop of Khan. I must say this new recon tech is quite something, because I was on fire today and not as tired fron Khan TR as I usually get. Lately TR has demanded a lot of energy from me and I have not had the kind of energy outwardly as I am used to on Khan.

Very excited for the Khan upgrade :smiley:

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#139

To me this upgrade with it’s new way of communicating to the subconscious makes it so more clear what is going on. Now it is easier than ever to feel when the mind is just overloaded with information and thus slowing down and making it less effective to interact with the outside environment.

Also, because I feel so much less reconciliation, the distinction between the two becomes more obvious. In recon I can feel that the mind is trying to change from the old paradigm and into the new paradigm, and this makes one feel tired and confused, and at times irritated.

On earlier builds these two melted into each other and it was harder to know exactly what was going in times of mental fatigue.

Overload = Backlog of information that makes the mind slow and tired.

Reconciliation = Clash of realities with the new information being fed in which causes confusion, irritation, and tiredness.

Just my observations…

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#140

Khan Total Action

Soo… I cheated a bit while still on my second cycle of Khan Total Reprogramming :grinning: This morning I played one loop of Total Action(st3) and boy oh boy what an experience.

I have had runs of this one before but never with the kind of groundwork I have now. I remember in the Q-days it was the first sub I ever played from Subclub. I remember thinking to myself that this one sounds fun… spoiler: it was not, the recon was quite severe haha…

During Khan and especially of lately something that’s been on my mind for quite some time now is that its all about dancing with the feminine, the devine in a way… It is the ride and the thrill of it all which is the the whole experience, but somehow we tend to get stuck in the idea of it and putting pressure on ourselves by having all these expectations.

Just letting go in the moment and having a little dance of polarities, some play and some fun. Just for a moment you are not your character and personality, and she is not hers, because in that moment two divine forces, two opposites, meet and merge in what can only be seen as lustful dance on a metaphysical level.

Women are truly experts in this subtle but powerful dance, but most men are completely oblivious of this. I can literally look at woman sitting with her boyfriend and our eyes meet for a brief moment, and in that small moment we share some excitment and sexual tension. Then the guy looks at me and I look at him and we smile at each other, and for him I am just a random guy looking in their direction, but to me I was just on a quick date with his girlfriend from a far, she knows it and I know it, and for that I am grateful.

The Whole World Is Just A Great And Never Ending Love Story

After having played my loop I felt the push and urge to go outside and into the city. Everywhere I looked I saw women and they all caught my attention and I appreciated it immensly. The women I saw regardless of age or physical apperance appeared like dancing balls of energy, and in my case dancing balls of sexual energy.

I could sense a fire buring inside of me and it felt great. With this kind of energy which turns into a powerful charisma you feel that you can truly move mountains.

There was no need to talk to a lot of women because I was looking at them and really feeling it, we were dancing energetically… I came to realize now that this is what abundance is, not how many women you have slept with or that are somehow entangled in your personal life, but just the ever flowing dance with the feminine that is everywhere. I mean, I even looked at a big poster with a woman in it and danced with her for a brief moment lol.

I can see how this almost became an obsession and I understand that it might be hard to focus on other things on this stage, but honestly I believe you get used to this new way after a while and transmutation into other things will be easier.

I see it as someone who has grown up with a mindset of lack towards the feminine, then before this is reconciled things will go from one extreme to another before settling in middle where it was supposed to be all along.

Also it is Total Action and not the complete version as in Khan Complete which is a more rounded experience. Total Reprogramming was more installing and St3 is more about starting to use this software in practice that has been installed.

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#141

Yesterday I was at a bar and I started talking to a woman who was maybe in her early fourties. She quickly became very infatuated with me and kept coming back to me, and we also danced a bit.

She was a mother of two and was there with some poeple which one of them was her husband. Me personally when I find something like that out I never escalate because of respect. But nevertheless because she kept coming back to me I started to talk with her about her relationship, and it quickly became obvious just how romantically dead it was.

I looked at her sincerely and I could see just how attractive she was when someone really appreciated her like I did, her eyes were shimmering just like someone had poured some glitter into them.

Her man was sitting just a table away and I looked at him at times but he seemed to not care that his women was swooning over another man. I was not escalating for stated reason’s above, but a woman that is so attracted to a man as she was to me will undoubtedly be touchy freely and find ways to get closer.

I folded a rose out of a napkin and gave it to her and said to give it to her husband. She said that he had never given her a rose, not even once. He was not impressed and who could have guessed lol.

Some time later they were about to leave and he walked past me but it looked like he wasn’t aware of me at all. She walked out last but stopped by my chair again, and this time she was litterally clinging to me like we were glued together. I stared in to her eyes for a moment and said; in another universe it would have been you and me… and I would have laid you down on a bed covered in rose petals(long pause)… and the rest I leave for your imagination.

She completely melted and gave me a long kiss on my left cheek before leaving. I really hope that she can find a way to reignite her relationship with her man. All women are beautiful and nothing beats seeing a sad woman light up in the presence of a man that knows how to emotionally have a positive impact on her.

Just a short story, but this is just something that has been happening to me more and more.

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#142

Oh man… but what a story! You are quite a charmer

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