Khan - A path less travelled

Journals - Major Programs
#203

I agree with that. Labels just puts us in boxes and once we identify with it we become dull and comfortable. Steady progression is the way and that I guess that means in society as well. I could easily live in a smaller rural community that is mostly self-sufficient I feel more and more as I get older.

At the end of this simulation or whatever it is, I do believe we come full circle and I’ll probably stand there again in front arcade machine searching for spare coins in my pockets to play it again.

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#204

On another note regarding Khan, I feel that I am the most Zen and non-reactive I have ever been. I used to be very alert and always having to be aware of all that is going on around me. But lately, and especially after having played almost a cycle of Khan St1 and DR St1 together, I feel so unattached and just letting things be as they are without interfering.

It becomes more and more obvious to me just what this masculine energy is and what it sends out to my surroundings. I’m just unperturbed by the commotion around me most of the time, and in social interactions I notice myself having a perceived space between what I hear and what I respond with, just like time is slowing down. If you have played that old computer game Max Payne, you know what I am talking about.

It reminds me of back in the days when I learned public speaking and the importance of pauses and suspense, but instead this just applies to interactions in general, and just as in public speaking, it becomes natural and a unconscious competence.

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#205

Washout Day 1

Been feeling a lot of recon yesterday and today, and also I feel super irritated at things going on in the world and the state of it currently. All this has been amplified a lot from a bit of anxiety about my current living situation which is now at the point of no place to live from tuesday and no money.

I can tell that this anger has to do a lot with healing to my masculinity, because when I was younger I would just withdraw and put all the blame on my self through self-hatred. But now I feel this anger actually shooting out at things outside of me. Of course I do know that this is futile and my logic is cathing it, but it actually feels nice to be angry without feeling any need or caring what others might think of it, and also being able to express it freely.

The pendulum after being release is bound to sway far to the other side first, then back and fourth for a while before settling in the middle again.

It is just like this is happening and it puts me temporarily in a state of going through puberty again, but with a grown up behind it which can direct and guide me, which in this case is myself in a kind of re-parenting way.

My frustration has also been the lack of people around me that I can discuss the way I see things and all things behind the apocalypse, the lifting of the vail. I talked to my mom yesterday and she said that I sound like a prophet or something lol. I could sense her anger which is her frustration of that I just cannot live a regular life in society. I told her that I could sense her frustration, but also that I’m not the same as she remembered me and that I won’t change to fit in to a mold anymore.

I sense strong Khan vibes here in a period of reconciling my softness(not wanting to offend) or an attitude of not choosing to speak my mind about things. This is one of my biggest intents and goal of Khan that I have written down.

Materialism

Pondered a bit yesterday about me being almost not interested in material things except for maybe a good pair of headphones, or a nice mountainbike or something like that. But those are things for me to use in a way to train, or listen to stuff. I am totally disinterested in cars or flashy things like watches or fancy clothes. I like dressing nice but nothing to serious and I always choose brandless if I can. I rather stay in local places than luxury hotels, and I find myself drifting away from any overly-tourist locations if I can.

Maybe I have become a minimalist, but it’s not as a statement or label. It’s just that most things has lost its shiny effect on me, and I would just like a small little house in nature which is close to a medium or smaller city, and I would like to do a lot more challenging things in nature like walks, river rafting, exploring etc. I get literally no energy from being in a city, rather it drains me.

I thought about yesterday about how different things are today compared to when I was growing up in the 80-90’s. There was a lot less screens, electro magnetic fields and radiation in the air in the city, and there are tons more polluters and poisons out there, and the food and water we consume sometimes border to poisonous.

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#206

Which subs have you been using?

I recommend Emperor lol

#207

Hi @Skadoosh

That’s funny, I just had some pondering yesterday about adding Emperor for 2 cycles.

I have been running Khan St1 recently sprinkled in with some DR St1(a lot of healing :exploding_head:), and lastly EoG St1. I have been playing Khan for a long time on and off and was originally before this last cycle on St3. But after some thinking it makes more sense to switch to Emperor until I have my personal situation solved before continuing Khan. Also I have played Khan almost exclusively for the inner changes, which has been massive, but it might be time to get out there and experience the outside effect as well lol…

Thanks for the tip. Funnily enough, I think I will be in for a shock because I have not had much of socializing at all or been at a workplace for about 2 years now, and that was before I started subliminals. I guess monk-mode is over for this time.

I’m thinking of 2 cycles of Emperor as my main, and maybe adding Inner Circle(need to meet new people) and LBfH, but I have a few days to think about it.

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#208

Washout Day 2

Feeling a lot better today and no anger or frustration. Also, the universe put some YT videos in front of me from Sat Yoga about the ego and suffering. One was even named; Stop Complaining… Be in Bliss! That made me realize(life in a nutshell, you have an aha, and then you forget until the next time you remember) just how much (I) perpetuate my suffering and the construct about myself by complaining.

But as with all things, with practice and enough repetition it becomes a habit. This reality and my experience here needs an operating system, but it should only function in the background. Just like when I was a teenager and browsed to many porn sites and got viruses, one need to run the anti-virus software from time to time.

Some say that meditation is paying attention to the way you are paying attention, so maybe that’s the best anti-virus software?

I remember years back when I made a pact with myself to stop complaining and talk shit about people around me. It still happens but most of the time I don’t, and when I do I catch myself doing it…

Nomad Lifestyle

After a little over a year of moving around and not having my own place, I have come closer to the notion that it all is temporary. So in a way it is nice to never settle in to much anywhere, but there’s also that longing for a more permanent spot. All this made me think of the story about the waiting room in an Indian railway station:

- In India it is common wisdom that the world is like a waiting room in the railway station; it is not your house. You are not going to remain in the waiting room forever. Nothing in the waiting room belongs to you, the furniture, the paintings on the wall… You use them, you see the paintings, you sit on the chair, you rest on the bed, but nothing belongs to you. You are just here for a few minutes, or for a few hours at the most, then you will be gone.

Yes, what you have brought in with you, into the waiting room, you will take with you; that’s yours. What have you brought into the world? And the world certaintly is a waiting room. The waiting may not be in seconds, minutes, hours, days, it may be in years; but what does it matter whether you wait seven hours or seventy years?

You may forget, in seventy years, that you are just in a waiting room. You may start thinking perhaps you are the owner, perhaps this is the house you have built. You may start putting your nameplate on the waiting room.

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#209

I love this about Khan, from the sales page you would never predict how immensely Spiritual this program truly is.

The zen, calm and relaxation on Khan is truly from another universe.

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#210

I agree, and it is a very masculine and fatherly energy, people react to your presence because it is so uncommon these days to see such a grounded man. And then it is generally that, More non-reactive = More attractive.

Yes it’s kinda wicked, but also the way I see it is that finding your masculine polarity is a spiritual process. There’s a lot of work to be done with meditation and energy work to break free of all that BS programming as a man today, and most men are not willing to do the inner work. Certain drugs give you an insight into it, but you revert back after the high, you must do the work.

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#211

Wake Me Up When September Ends

To be honest, my situation right now does not feel as scary as I might have thought. It actually forces me to rely on others for a while, and also me finding my way forward in the darkness. It all comes down to money in the end, but because I don’t have any currently makes it a bit differnet.

I remember backpacking for months just crusing left and right, going to places where I had to use handsignals and drawings to be understood. I always found that pleasant and exciting, but the only thing that I had back then was money and a budget.

Achille’s Heel

In the future I’m looking at the module Achille’s Heel in a custom:

Achilles was a great hero, but everyone has a weakness. Achilles Heel is a complex module but one that holds great potential for those who learn how to use it. Designed around two distinct but closely related features, Achilles Heel helps you find your weaknesses – be it physical, mental or spiritual, while also cultivating within you a sense of allowance for help. You will find it becomes much more easier to ask others for help, and others in turn will be a thousand times more likely to lend you their hand – sometimes without you even asking. This creates a powerful synergistic effect, where Achilles Heel allows you to ask others to help you find your own weaknesses, creating a module that has an incredibly wide use range. Use Achilles Heel to heal yourself, to purge your weaknesses, to achieve more, to become a better leader and to cultivate yourself to a higher level – for sometimes, others may understand more about us than we ourselves might.

The bold text I highlighted really stood out to me. For as long as I remember I have always gone my own way, but that has also meant that I suck at asking for help! Usually I cave into it when it is on the breaking point and I have to ask… Hm, seems exactly where I am right now :grinning:

This all stem from my number one coping habit when I was young, which was withdrawing and being silent. In contrast, when I’m in a leader role I take charge and just do it, but that’s in a team, when on my own my habit is to be an island.

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#212

Besides the dominance and sexual scripting in Khan, there is something in it which let’s you easily see beyond the veil. Just being earthed and true to yourself unapologetically, and with a strength that it is indeed not often seen in society anymore.

It affected me similar to you whereby it was hard for me to fit in society. Khan just bypasses that and goes WAY beyond.

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#213

I notice that earthed effect especially on Total Brakedown, and from what I remember it has I AM in it. Also what is interesting is how Khan can be too polarizing if one does not have the neccessary foundation going past the first stage. This used to be the case for me previously when I played Khan, but recently it feels and expresses much more naturally when out and about because I have done better groundwork.

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#214

If you are feeling like you have woken up and feel like you are in a sci-fi dystopia, join the club.

Now what to do?

Have you seen the movie “They Live”?

Archive dot org might have it.

Now… how about LBfH and/or the module Untouchable? Perhaps even Pride Unbroken, or a courage module?

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#215

It’s been like that for a while and I’m past the big confusion mostly, actually I have been starting to see it as a bit humorous in a way. This might sound harsch to some, but to me it removes the seriousness from my existance and brings in acceptance of what is.

In a way it has actually brought back a lot of my curiosity that I remember from my youth, because I now don’t take anything that I have learned from the system and society as truth, I question everthing and always keep multiple doors open. It has massively strengthen my critical faculty and function, and I can start to challenge my own biases that used to keep me stuck.

Whenever I experiece a deja vu, I stop and and observe, and then I start questioning why this is the case? Most of the time it is because I have been stuck in the same patterns and I what I experience is the awareness of it. So therefore I can start questioning and evolve my knowledge. It makes things so much more fun, becaue at my age most people have already formed their view of the world and the auto-pilot has just assumed control over their life completely…

One fun project right now is the flat earth theory. I don’t say it’s either round or flat, because I have to see the evidence myself first, but I try to use my logic and not what I have been taught throught the years(it’s hard…) But for many years, there has been so many things that I have reacted to that were strange with the globe thingy… Just an example are flight patterns, and also distances when I have gone by car crossing Europe.

Generally with a lot of things, if you have nothing to hide, but they try to hide, misdirect, gaslight, or whatever something that should be easily proven, that sets of my alarm. All in all, it has been fun and challenging for my brain to break free of set patterns…

And here the humorous part comes in again, I don’t take it that seriously but instead just have fun with it.

Haven’t seen it but I know what it is about, and I have seen some clips from it. Sometimes I feel like everything in this world is just like entering the infinite mirror room at the amusement park, because no matter how weird or random something feels, it always reflects back a thousand mirages that are all leading back to the same universal truth. Since starting subs it’s not even a doubt in me that syncronizities are real, in fact I see them and connect the dots all the time.

For me the whole money situation over the last two years has just been a huge subconscious resistance for me, but at the same time I’m not a noob, because I have had several jobs and know how it is to be in the hamster wheel. Or as Sadhguru said once; it’s not hard just surviving in a western society, even an ant could do that!

One thing I realized today as I walked around the city for a couple of hours, is that I tend to forget that we all are people(most of us at least :P), and that watching watching controlled media and other outlets aimed to manipulate our perceptions can be debilitating for our mental health and progress. It used to urk me, but nowadays I have managed to detach from those emotions and are not nearly as affected, and I stay away from it as much as I can.

In the end it pulls you into fantasy land and you disconnect from the only thing that matters, which is here and now. And for me right now, the only thing that makes me have zero money coming in, has been a total neglect of putting any effort and attention to it.

Knock, Knock

→ Whos there?

Sound of creaking door…

In through the open door steps a big and majestic figure…

→ It’s me the mighty EMPEROR!!!

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#216

Stop complying with your own slavery folks!

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#217

I will be starting a new journal shortly. ZP has made have a lot of dreams lately and I have been reading up on a lot programs lately, and it truly feels like I have been guided to my new journey by my subconscious.

@RVconsultant @DarkPhilosopher Can you kindly close this journal for me? :pray: :slight_smile:

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#218

All the best on your new dreams, @Tobyone!

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#219
#220

Done. Good luck on your new journal/journey!

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