Jules’ Journal: Dragon Reborn Extended Cut

27 May:
1 x DR Stg 1
1 x PS
Day 5/21

Date last night went really well. At the very beginning I had pangs of nervousness come over me but they subsided pretty quickly and I was able to regain composure instead of letting it control me. We connected really well and after a while it was just so natural. I think that DR and PS together are helping me realize how to be sexy in my own shoes, no putting on an act, just my authentic and vulnerable self. Things did get very passionate near the end of the night, and I am excited to go out with her again. I supposedly have another date tonight with a tinder match, we’ll see if she follows through because I haven’t heard from her since Wednesday.

Thanks, duly noted! I was able to get it changed yesterday and with a creative suggestion from @DarkPhilosopher which is what it is now.

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29 May:
1 x DR Stg 1
1 x PS
Day 7/21

Yeah so the Friday date fell through, it did kinda hurt but I’m ok with it because the chemistry wasn’t really there.

I have been feeling less social compared to the previous cycle, but I’m still twice as social than before. And not anxious at all. Still working on my approach anxiety. I need to create a rule for myself to just approach without thinking and introduce myself if I’m attracted and getting an ioi. That first jump is always the most difficult for me, everything after that is always much smoother.

I started writing this post in the morning, it is now the early evening and some new notes. Shortly after my loops, I had another call with my 5yrs ago ex, which was very cathartic and healing. We deconstructed the relationship, acknowledged the things we did to hurt each other, apologized and forgave one another. It isn’t the first time we’d had a call like that, but this one felt like real healing for the both of us. We agreed to stay in contact, at a distance.

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To be honest it’s been a pretty hard and disappointing weekend, maybe this is what the disclaimer meant when it said that this is not an easy sub to run. With that said, I’m not discouraged, it has helped me grow and understand myself better. It’s not even been a month and my life is changing in ways I would have never expected. I’m still nervous, still excited.

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31 May:
1 x DR Stg 1
1 x PS
Day 9/21

Nothing to report right now.

How are you today?

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All things considered, not bad! Thanks for asking. I have been very uncontrolled lately with booze and smoking so my body is kicking me for it right now, and I’m having to reevaluate my choices. This is not typical of me, usually I only drink on weekends and smoke maybe one pack a weekend. This past week I drank more on weeknights and smoked almost three packs over the weekend. I feel like less is happening as a result of the subs right now, but it may just be my bad habits interfering.

I’m wondering how much of this is overload or reconciliation. When I was running Khan and DR, I felt tempted to drink more.

What is your listening schedule?

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You’re right, it certainly could be. The uptick coincides squarely with my running DR. Although a lot has changed.

I listen to one full loop of both of the two subs, every other day for the entire cycle. Do you think I should cut the listen time?

I would encourage that. Listening twice a week, listening for 7 minutes (or 5 or 3 minutes), or both might be helpful.

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2 June:
1/2 x DR stg 1
1/2 x PS
Day 11/21

Per @RVconsultant ‘s recommendation I’m going to try 7 minute loops and continue cutting down listening time until morale improves.

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If you need to go to 5 or 3 minutes, then perhaps that would help.

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4 June
1 x DR
Day 13/21

6 June:
1 x DR
3/4 x PS
Day 15/21

I meant to only listen to 3 minutes or so of PS but got sidetracked and listened to 11.

Not a whole lot to report. Not that nothing is happening, but whatever is happening is less obvious to me right now. Went out on a second date Saturday with the person I wrote about last week. It was hands down the best date I’ve ever been on with anyone so far. I don’t want to write too much about it here, suffice it to say that we were up until daylight.

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8 June:
1 x LE
Day 17/21

Adding LE back in because I want to be the same level of social I was earlier.

I may run all three from now on at varying loop lengths maybe starting at 7/7, 15 for DR/PS, LE.

I will say that LE is definitely responsible for the butterfly feeling in my gut. Just finished my loop and I can feel it mildly.

I have stopped smoking since Memorial Day weekend. I kept almost doing it (this past weekend) and then I realize how it will make me feel and I stop myself. My drinking is also down. For a couple weeks I was drinking and smoking on the weekdays late into the night. I haven’t been doing that at all and this past weekend when drinking did not drink to get drunk. Mind you, again, this was not a typical thing for me, so probably some recon or something.

Yea so LE is going to stay in my stack. Maybe next cycle I do 15/DR AND 7,7/PS,LE

I’m not disappointed with PS but surprised how much more I like LE, having run both this past month. I just love the social part, it makes me happy to feel so at ease talking to people. And yes some of the stuff that dissipated after switching to PS is coming back.

This is a good stack. I’m very excited to see where it will take me from here. Any input on programming days and loop lengths is welcome.

10 June:
1 x DR
1/3 x LE
Day 19/21

People from my past just keep popping up out of nowhere, totally random but no coincidence.

12 June:
1 x DR
1 x LE
Day 21/21

Ending this cycle with LE. Washout until the 18th. Not much to report right now.

Quoting this from another thread for emphasis, agreement, whatever…

Yea, day 4 washout today and it’s rough. I feel anti-social, haven’t replied to any of my texts. Been laying in bed almost all day feeling almost sick. I feel incredibly tired. Been sleeping a lot more this week, napping.

My workouts haven’t been suffering too much but on Monday I couldn’t finish it for feeling faint after my heavy squat sets.

I feel unsure of my path ahead. If I want to stay in my career. If I want to move, or renew my lease. If I want to stay in school. That’s been happening some during the cycles too though.

18 June:
1 x DR
1 x LE
Day 1/21