Sanguine does take the edge off of EB. I can’t wait to actually dive into my customs full time. Once my exam is done, I will.
I miss those days I ran Khan for like 6 months + and QL for 4 months. That had its own charm.
Can’t wait to do that with my customs.
Purchased a Mindvalley subscription. Diving into Jim Kwik and Marisa Peer.
I want to maximise my state at any moment. I have taken classes 4x (almost each of them) for the exam I am going to give. I know I have it at my disposal but my state of mind influences the way I think almost everytime.
I want to change this because I can’t be misfiring on the day of the exam. I want to be in control - in the driver’s seat.
Been browsing courses this Black Friday - got many on my list to watch. Picking bunch of courses that will help with my Solopreneur journey. It’s going to be fun.
Going to bring exercise as a part of my day and divide my day into divisions.
1st - Morning Routine (3.5 Hours - Includes 100 Pages of Reading, HIIT and more)
2nd - Core Work (4 Hours of Focused Work)
3rd - Learning (3 Hours of Learning)
4th - Reading (2 Hours - Another 100 Pages of Reading)
I know the Journal is scattered and inconsistent but I have been having great breakthroughs in life.
I don’t really know about my exam, I have been on it but I’m not feeling like I’m in the mindspace for it. I have spent on the coaching and genuinely mastered the concepts but I don’t feel I am in the mindspace. There’s this mental fog. I tried multiple subs by giving it a try but something deeper seems to be at play here. I know I am capable but I just don’t seem to have that grit to get a really high score.
I ran EB as well for that, but again, it got too much and I felt a strong kick in my mind - this is NOT your path!
And on EB, I ended up reading more about Astrology and Numerology and I hated some parts of the readings - maybe because they felt true. I am of the attitude that look, if it works, I take it or if it doesn’t - dump it. But EB says otherwise lol.
It’s like this excavator that just loves scraping even the last bit of dirt left. I mean, come on - I ran it for the focus but the reflections.
My dad paid for the coaching this time, and he will help me out for the exam as well, but I just don’t feel like I’m in the mind space. Maybe I should tell him that? It’s so weird, I have learnt the concepts which in itself took grit, but now I don’t feel the grit to give the exam.
And I’ve been procrastinating Journalling, like I know it’s good for me and I grow faster and what not. But there’s this weird feeling / fear - what if people don’t like the fact that I run the subs - what if I am ostracised.
And I call myself rebellious lol. It’s just, the contrasts. I have been drowning in my own thoughts and fears lol, but the progress is great, make no mistake about that!
It’s scary, thinking if I am identified and what if my world turns upside down. 
But yeah, I’ve been growing and perhaps at a rate that I am not able to keep up with - hence the recon and feeling like I lack the “grit”.
I don’t want to waste the coaching, I want to get the score I want.
Oh yeah, apparently my family told the family about my exam and I was so mad. I didn’t say anything but god, the pressure of it all. Something about exams lol.
Had told them to keep it a secret because I didn’t want the pressure or the commentary. It threw me off the zone.
But I don’t want to sound like I am ranting although I am.
Some more ranting:
My vision board has plenty of materialistic things on it. I ran RoM and felt this intense connection to get in touch with my spirituality and I did, and then I got upset that it got me off track from the exam - just the nature of RoM feels like it’s not meant for the kind of grit focus.
Then, I have been struggling with integrating spirituality into my material pursuits. My girlfriend tells me that I must look at my progress and just the growth I’ve had. She genuinely was concerned with the pressure I was putting on myself. Sometimes I felt, yeah I can’t take this. Makes me worried what if I don’t make it to the top.
Sometimes I feel, I am 21 and maybe I shouldn’t put much pressure on myself?
But again, I remember at 18 I had made about 200 songs and genuinely had a chance at music, a famous producer was ready to mentor me, but I was not allowed to pursue that because of “college”. Whatever that shit was, I mean really - I did learn a lot - about hiding my frustrations. Looking at my life now, I feel annoyed and upset - I could have been a pretty famous musician! Again, I know I am hoping and drawing timelines but, I really was confident.
What stops me from pursuing that now?
It’s that I want to have a solid foundation but do I? Do I? I have RM:V and I could run it, but I feel scared. I feel like I should be GOOOOOD at one thing and not MANYYYY things.
But fuck that shit. I have my whole life ahead of me. I am going to RUN RM:V. I am not going to teach music, atleast right now.
God, this exam seems like a blockage. That’s stopping me from living my life.
It feels relieving to just write.
Ranting does feel good. But when you learn the lessons I guess? Maybe I got to just take a break and not think too much.
Anyway, I’m on a Washout.
I read somewhere that someone spammed like a Twitch chat and I hope that’s not referring to me lol.
Even if it is, I don’t care. I did that because those lines have worlds of wisdom underneath them in a business sense and I love those lines - I came up with like 99% of them.
Y’all can come get my course, happy to give a discount 
Although, I think giving discounts does kill the branding - and look at me - taking advantage of the 30% SubClub discount and LIFECHARGER.
But I mean, seasonal discounts. Intro discounts are all cool, I mean it gets people to try who would otherwise be skeptical. But those pesky deals and discounts - those make you feel like you were just ripped off. And kills the brand as well - what’s a brand if it’s all about the price?
99 cent store? Haven’t got those here in India, but well well…
How much can I really talk?
Apparently, a lot.
Apparently true according to my numerology but HEY! I can give value on every LINE! And be a great teacher!
Or change beliefs on EVERY line and be a great salesman / coach!
I guess it’s how you use it 
Those readings are just to say you’re talkative - that’s all. What you talk about is not given at birth, but acquired.
And, I used to call myself an introvert. Perhaps I never was an introvert, I had probably just suppressed my voice and speech because people made me feel like they don’t want to listen to me.
KHAN!
Anyway, post 12th December when I end my washout and hopefully give my exam (yuck! Hopefully! Okay when I GIVE my exam!)
I am going to run PROSPERA and AURELION
Stick to it, make 
and build connections and UP my game.
I am currently making 0$ as I am away from all money channels - focusing on my exam.
I do know I can sell a song for 550$
I do know I can book a client for 50$ an Hour
I do know I have certain people looking to book me at 250$ an Hour to speak
It’s good money here in India
So, now that I KNOW I have something valuable on my hand - I am going to get at it. Post 12th.
Wow, I feel great after writing. Man, what is this intoxicating effect?
When I make music, I feel in touch with my emotions. Here I feel I have grown. I really want music to be an instrument of change - not end at a resonance.
How do I create lasting change using music? Got to figure that out. I do know my lyrics are on the positive side - almost childish happiness.
So are my melodies and overall writing.
I remember the days when I would have 100s of comments and messages about how my song made their day. Ah! Those days!
ONTO FUTURE now!
Also this whole present moment, planning the future thing - why is it so complex?
All I know is in the present moment, if you do whatever it takes, you’re going to do brilliant.
But you also got to work towards the future. How?
I know that “Going with the Flow” as a life philosophy is… well… nothing more than being a log in a river.
But how do I be in the moment and focus while I am working towards the future?
Is it planning and then executing?
I think so.
But this contradiction has been on my mind for a while.
And many contradictions Infact.
Make your listeners happy and speak your soul?
Alchemist Singularity perhaps?
Not right now tho.
I remember watching this video:
He mentions that we are in yuga (is that what it’s called?) where we talk more - mouth is predominant.
I don’t really know why I feel anger when I hear that. Isn’t it great that we can be articulate and communicate with people miles away?
Maybe something about the divine consciousness.
At the end of the day, I don’t see how it’s a negative but I felt angry at it.
I am grateful I can pick up the pen (Keyboard) and a notebook (MS Word) and write a book (PDF) and people can read it from anywhere.
Watched these today. Learnt many things. Realigned!
This time around, I want to practice no fap for a longer time. I kind of relapse because of stress or other factors. Or maybe I’m just in the mood😏
But yeah it all starts with honesty. I want to do it for weeks now and truly get in touch with my vital energy. I know right after that, I don’t get any mental clarity, instead I get mental fog that lasts for atleast half a day but still lingers around.
So yes, this time around I change my identity to that of a person who does it once a month
Exam there’s not much progress in mental clarity. I think I will give that exam sometime in the future, as I already have subject matter mastery.
Get fit and then hit it with stamina in my body. The grit and the endurance.
Got courses from Ramit Sethi, Bob Proctor, 80/20 and many many more
Currently Watching Bob Proctor’s Course
Feeling scared, will things work out for me?
They will. I’m sure they will. They always do. I decided to not give the exam because of the mental fog. I feel scared and anxious in general, but that’s probably because I have work cut out for me and I have got to be on point. I’ve probably never felt this consistent of a push before. It’s getting real.
Look, me. You got this alright? It’s just about taking action here on. You feel scared because your dreams are so big. It’s only forward from here on. Let’s do this. Let’s get this going. There’s no resting. No pit stopping. The bus is here. Time to board on. World’s waiting. It’s real. Let’s get going. I befriend pain and I will eventually gain.
Let’s do this. Let’s get this going. Its just one step at a time, and you’ll do it.