During my sub hopping frenzy, I ran paragon and developed a very lower back pain. But hello, I think it’s hinting me to take care of my back. When I sit in the correct posture, there’s no issue 
I’m just oriented towards positivity. I want to run paragon longer, so far I’ve run it 3x (one loop each, with months inbetween).
Sanguine does take the edge off of EB. I can’t wait to actually dive into my customs full time. Once my exam is done, I will.
I miss those days I ran Khan for like 6 months + and QL for 4 months. That had its own charm.
Can’t wait to do that with my customs.
Purchased a Mindvalley subscription. Diving into Jim Kwik and Marisa Peer.
I want to maximise my state at any moment. I have taken classes 4x (almost each of them) for the exam I am going to give. I know I have it at my disposal but my state of mind influences the way I think almost everytime.
I want to change this because I can’t be misfiring on the day of the exam. I want to be in control - in the driver’s seat.
Been browsing courses this Black Friday - got many on my list to watch. Picking bunch of courses that will help with my Solopreneur journey. It’s going to be fun.
Going to bring exercise as a part of my day and divide my day into divisions.
1st - Morning Routine (3.5 Hours - Includes 100 Pages of Reading, HIIT and more)
2nd - Core Work (4 Hours of Focused Work)
3rd - Learning (3 Hours of Learning)
4th - Reading (2 Hours - Another 100 Pages of Reading)
I know the Journal is scattered and inconsistent but I have been having great breakthroughs in life.
I don’t really know about my exam, I have been on it but I’m not feeling like I’m in the mindspace for it. I have spent on the coaching and genuinely mastered the concepts but I don’t feel I am in the mindspace. There’s this mental fog. I tried multiple subs by giving it a try but something deeper seems to be at play here. I know I am capable but I just don’t seem to have that grit to get a really high score.
I ran EB as well for that, but again, it got too much and I felt a strong kick in my mind - this is NOT your path!
And on EB, I ended up reading more about Astrology and Numerology and I hated some parts of the readings - maybe because they felt true. I am of the attitude that look, if it works, I take it or if it doesn’t - dump it. But EB says otherwise lol.
It’s like this excavator that just loves scraping even the last bit of dirt left. I mean, come on - I ran it for the focus but the reflections.
My dad paid for the coaching this time, and he will help me out for the exam as well, but I just don’t feel like I’m in the mind space. Maybe I should tell him that? It’s so weird, I have learnt the concepts which in itself took grit, but now I don’t feel the grit to give the exam.
And I’ve been procrastinating Journalling, like I know it’s good for me and I grow faster and what not. But there’s this weird feeling / fear - what if people don’t like the fact that I run the subs - what if I am ostracised.
And I call myself rebellious lol. It’s just, the contrasts. I have been drowning in my own thoughts and fears lol, but the progress is great, make no mistake about that!
It’s scary, thinking if I am identified and what if my world turns upside down. 
But yeah, I’ve been growing and perhaps at a rate that I am not able to keep up with - hence the recon and feeling like I lack the “grit”.
I don’t want to waste the coaching, I want to get the score I want.
Oh yeah, apparently my family told the family about my exam and I was so mad. I didn’t say anything but god, the pressure of it all. Something about exams lol.
Had told them to keep it a secret because I didn’t want the pressure or the commentary. It threw me off the zone.
But I don’t want to sound like I am ranting although I am.
Some more ranting:
My vision board has plenty of materialistic things on it. I ran RoM and felt this intense connection to get in touch with my spirituality and I did, and then I got upset that it got me off track from the exam - just the nature of RoM feels like it’s not meant for the kind of grit focus.
Then, I have been struggling with integrating spirituality into my material pursuits. My girlfriend tells me that I must look at my progress and just the growth I’ve had. She genuinely was concerned with the pressure I was putting on myself. Sometimes I felt, yeah I can’t take this. Makes me worried what if I don’t make it to the top.
Sometimes I feel, I am 21 and maybe I shouldn’t put much pressure on myself?
But again, I remember at 18 I had made about 200 songs and genuinely had a chance at music, a famous producer was ready to mentor me, but I was not allowed to pursue that because of “college”. Whatever that shit was, I mean really - I did learn a lot - about hiding my frustrations. Looking at my life now, I feel annoyed and upset - I could have been a pretty famous musician! Again, I know I am hoping and drawing timelines but, I really was confident.
What stops me from pursuing that now?
It’s that I want to have a solid foundation but do I? Do I? I have RM:V and I could run it, but I feel scared. I feel like I should be GOOOOOD at one thing and not MANYYYY things.
But fuck that shit. I have my whole life ahead of me. I am going to RUN RM:V. I am not going to teach music, atleast right now.
God, this exam seems like a blockage. That’s stopping me from living my life.
It feels relieving to just write.
Ranting does feel good. But when you learn the lessons I guess? Maybe I got to just take a break and not think too much.
Anyway, I’m on a Washout.
I read somewhere that someone spammed like a Twitch chat and I hope that’s not referring to me lol.
Even if it is, I don’t care. I did that because those lines have worlds of wisdom underneath them in a business sense and I love those lines - I came up with like 99% of them.
Y’all can come get my course, happy to give a discount 
Although, I think giving discounts does kill the branding - and look at me - taking advantage of the 30% SubClub discount and LIFECHARGER.
But I mean, seasonal discounts. Intro discounts are all cool, I mean it gets people to try who would otherwise be skeptical. But those pesky deals and discounts - those make you feel like you were just ripped off. And kills the brand as well - what’s a brand if it’s all about the price?
99 cent store? Haven’t got those here in India, but well well…
How much can I really talk?
Apparently, a lot.
Apparently true according to my numerology but HEY! I can give value on every LINE! And be a great teacher!
Or change beliefs on EVERY line and be a great salesman / coach!
I guess it’s how you use it 
Those readings are just to say you’re talkative - that’s all. What you talk about is not given at birth, but acquired.
And, I used to call myself an introvert. Perhaps I never was an introvert, I had probably just suppressed my voice and speech because people made me feel like they don’t want to listen to me.
KHAN!
Anyway, post 12th December when I end my washout and hopefully give my exam (yuck! Hopefully! Okay when I GIVE my exam!)
I am going to run PROSPERA and AURELION
Stick to it, make 
and build connections and UP my game.
I am currently making 0$ as I am away from all money channels - focusing on my exam.
I do know I can sell a song for 550$
I do know I can book a client for 50$ an Hour
I do know I have certain people looking to book me at 250$ an Hour to speak
It’s good money here in India
So, now that I KNOW I have something valuable on my hand - I am going to get at it. Post 12th.
Wow, I feel great after writing. Man, what is this intoxicating effect?
When I make music, I feel in touch with my emotions. Here I feel I have grown. I really want music to be an instrument of change - not end at a resonance.
How do I create lasting change using music? Got to figure that out. I do know my lyrics are on the positive side - almost childish happiness.
So are my melodies and overall writing.
I remember the days when I would have 100s of comments and messages about how my song made their day. Ah! Those days!
ONTO FUTURE now!
Also this whole present moment, planning the future thing - why is it so complex?
All I know is in the present moment, if you do whatever it takes, you’re going to do brilliant.
But you also got to work towards the future. How?
I know that “Going with the Flow” as a life philosophy is… well… nothing more than being a log in a river.
But how do I be in the moment and focus while I am working towards the future?
Is it planning and then executing?
I think so.
But this contradiction has been on my mind for a while.
And many contradictions Infact.
Make your listeners happy and speak your soul?
Alchemist Singularity perhaps?
Not right now tho.
I remember watching this video:
He mentions that we are in yuga (is that what it’s called?) where we talk more - mouth is predominant.
I don’t really know why I feel anger when I hear that. Isn’t it great that we can be articulate and communicate with people miles away?
Maybe something about the divine consciousness.
At the end of the day, I don’t see how it’s a negative but I felt angry at it.
I am grateful I can pick up the pen (Keyboard) and a notebook (MS Word) and write a book (PDF) and people can read it from anywhere.
Watched these today. Learnt many things. Realigned!
This time around, I want to practice no fap for a longer time. I kind of relapse because of stress or other factors. Or maybe I’m just in the mood😏
But yeah it all starts with honesty. I want to do it for weeks now and truly get in touch with my vital energy. I know right after that, I don’t get any mental clarity, instead I get mental fog that lasts for atleast half a day but still lingers around.
So yes, this time around I change my identity to that of a person who does it once a month
Exam there’s not much progress in mental clarity. I think I will give that exam sometime in the future, as I already have subject matter mastery.
Get fit and then hit it with stamina in my body. The grit and the endurance.
Got courses from Ramit Sethi, Bob Proctor, 80/20 and many many more
Currently Watching Bob Proctor’s Course