I’m back on Emperor Black. Running this time with PROSPERA & Aurelion
And I have KB in my stack too
I am really pushing the boundaries now
I am finding the sweet spot for my stack again because PROSPERA & Aurelion are EPIC
But the third title, that third title, I really want to pick it carefully. I do think now, that two titles are not enough because of the areas that I want to address.
I might very well create a custom around KB & Emperor Black - Just simply for productivity, mental clarity, stillness, positivity, stack booster.
Gosh I am back on EB and I’ve missed it.
EB man, what is this?
I find all the comfort by leaning into my shadow. It’s just, different. It’s just… great.
I mean EB + KB is just arguable a dream combo for me.
I don’t have any sexual thoughts and that means no distractions
EB keeps me so productive and enjoying the focus. It just gives me recon when I overthink, but when I just sit down and lean into where my intuition is taking me, I have all the answers.
We as humans think many thoughts. We think, why this? Why that? I don’t know. It’s that really necessary? The why question is so easy to answer often. It’s the how and what that requires energy and which holds growth.
Why is the first stepping stone and you get the answer by just leaning into it.
PMO has been better but not to the level I want it. I think why is because I don’t really have my environment optimised to avoid it. And, the impulses by my sudden rise in watching movies. Just getting lost and feeling the story.
Emperor Black gives me that strong masculine core that I had on Khan but it’s much much more profound or rather it feels like it because your shadow give you comfort.
And, EB definitely is a no nonsense title. It kicks you in the ass when you do activities that are useless or not good for you.
Alright, I think it’s overexposure and recon. I made a few mistakes.
I’m going to washout and get back to it.
Alright. Washout is done.
This is it - PROSPERA + Aurelion + DD+WB+PN
Customs
Nothing else for 6 months now. I really want to grow into them and make them a deep part of my psyche like Khan.
I just had a super productive day. Accomplished good amount. Read 100+ pages, solved 100 complex questions for an exam, worked on my product and wrote a compelling LinkedIn post - all in about 6-8 hours of focus.
QL benefits stick, Limitless in ASBR definitely helping, ASBR leading me in the right direction too. EoG and NWE is kicking in. Oh DD is making things fun. WB is giving the nonchalance in social situations, PN well didn’t have any need to kick in.
DD actually seems to affect my day to day by making it fun and exciting to go through. I am digging it.
The only sub that I haven’t tried but really want to is Genesis. But that’s not going be there for next 6 months.
I am really curious about the adventure scripting. DD I think is doing well.
In the last one month - I made money with music & the product that I’m working on - where I helped a person implement it. I am truly blown away. Guys, it’s been just about 1 week since I started to actively market / post on a certain social media platform and I already booked a client for $50/hr. And I’m from India. It’s big money.
Same with music where I won a couple of remix competitions. Again, made about 350$ there.
Guys, I feel so confident that I will get this and crush it. This is literally my first bucks made from all of my skills - proving that they are worth it and people are willing to pay for it. The confidence - I can’t begin to describe.
By the way, I’ve ordered a new custom because I am so sure of where I am going next - it’s to write an exam. This custom I’d call its purpose as “One Month Monk Mode Every Year with Core Realignment”.
Check this out:
EB
KB1
NEHE
Inner Voice
Inner Gasoline
Epigenetics & DNA
Light of Humility
Safety Net
You Are Not Alone
Code or Loyalty
Virtue Series: Hope, Patience, Diligence, Kindness, and Temperance
Synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Inescapable Gaze
Synergy: Master of the World
Synergy: Machine Totality
MDFY: Freedom
I will run this in conjunction with any activity that requires utmost focus and no distractions. And that will start right after this washout of mine. Gosh, the feeling of making your first bucks all on your own in absolutely unmatched! The fulfilment!
There are some patterns that I am realising. I feel a sense of responsibility in my relationships and if a relationship turns sour or if a relationship breaks apart, I tend to punish myself through guilt and putting myself down if I have let’s say purchased some new clothes or something else. I perhaps feel that I need to turn my happiness down in order to not let someone else feel less happy / blessed. I somehow seem to think that I am responsible for all of my relationships and don’t pay much heed to things that did not work with me. I seem to bottle things up and then lash out when it gets too much. I seem to use superlative terms after trying to explain myself multiple times.
I had feelings of anxiety from a very long time - but there was also a lingering feeling that maybe it’s caused by my beliefs and thought patterns - which I was right about. Though there were triggering points for me, and subconsciously my emotions would react first and then my intellect would activate. In some cases, the emotions react so quickly and take over my body - but I am largely able to gain control. However, when the people around me don’t understand and they are in proximity, I lost control and feel a more serious anxiety build up. It’s the lack of understanding and empathy that makes me feel more anxious. Even though my logical brain knows that they mean me well, my reptilian brain does not understand the same.
Generally when I am anxious, I want to be told sweet things. Compliment me a little or tell me that you love me (if you do). When a person continues to explain and logically tell me why anxiety is harming me (while I feel the anxiety / leading into a panic attack), it flares up more. However, when I am alone, I am able to control myself because I talk sweet things to myself.
I am not sure how to find deeper and more meaningful relationships - and a partner who understands the same. That, while I have played a crucial role myself in becoming a master of my emotions, that she too plays a role in influencing it - because of vulnerability.
I see joy as the ultimate emotion - or bliss - but it can’t be had by forcing it down a person’s throat. It will be attained when you ease into it and assume that state.
Coming back to it, the feelings of guilty - there’s no reason for me to feel that way. I am responsible for my happiness.
After a breakup, there are feelings of wanting attention. I notice that I have indulged in doing things that make me feel the centre of attention - often times in an unpleasant way. My justification is ever so often that if you had done something differently, I wouldn’t feel this way. Which is true, but with an unpleasant reaction, it’s unlikely that the other person understands. It is the need for connection and significance. I can meet it in a pleasant way as well.
I have at some level accepted life as suffering. At some level I have accepted that it’s only through pain and toil that I will survive. It’s true that there is a lot of action to be taken to get to the other side - that is gain. But, do I really have to associate pain with it? Do I really have to fall into negative patterns? Do they serve me? Quite honestly, they don’t.
Why do I panic or feel at loss when I don’t know where I fit in the whole journey?
Everything is an opportunity to get closer to where you want to go. Everything is an opportunity to be who you truly want to be. Every situation is a lesson on getting better.
Breakup hurts when it’s with someone that you really love. Someone who has given you much happiness. I wouldn’t be as hurt as I am, if I hadn’t given my heart. How could I expect to be indifferent when I never have been indifferent towards the person? If anything, the tears of sadness after a breakup are an indication of the love you gave.
It’s true and important for me to identify that at my heart, I am a romantic. Do I want to be that always? Not always - just with the special someone that I am serious with.
Candidly, I sub hopped 7 times. The recon was nightmarish. Never sub hopped before, but I’ve learnt my lesson now.
Back on EB & running Sanguine - have an exam soon. I’m going to ace it 