Currently on day 6:
In the last couple of days, I have felt myself reframing thoughts and negative situations more automatically.
I feel something blocking me from spiralling into this deep feel to sadness.
I saw myself challenge my black and white thinking towards a text message that I would usually call quits at but decided to assume positive.
Started June 4th . ————to be finished August 3rd
Rest day today
Here’s what I’ve experienced today
Felt myself walking very slow and feeling very calm. The day started off by me going to the the store and it felt like she mirrored inner calmness— I could see it in her eyes and volume of voice .
I get to the train station and the train has just arrived and me the guy behind me start sprinting and we both make it. I turn around and give him a fist bump and we are both happy.
As I aboard another train, me and this girl inside the carriage lock eyes and both our heads turn ( LOL)
So now I’m walking in the city and I walk past this guy standing outside a restaurant and he offers me to try it out and I politely decline. I could just see from his face he genuinely is enthusiastic about his job and he’s happy to be there. I felt the urge to tell him that and gave him a fist bump too. It was great exchange of energy and he was very happy .
I’m on the train and this stranger is playing random meme sounds from his phone and me and this other strange lock eyes and we just have a grin on our faces which was pretty funny to me.
That’s my update for today
See you tomorrow
Dude’s bossing life already…
haha . We love to see it
Also btw, I read through some of your old journals and to keep things short I feel you.
it’s scary just much I relate to some of your experiences…
Day 7/30
Experienced recon so I’m going from 7mins to 3mins of both today
Today I have noticed this type of buffer inside of me. I feel less reactive and certain things aren’t bothering me.
My mind naturally reframing things and things that should piss me off are bouncing off me.
I’m laughing right now
Let’s keep going shall we?
Day8
If it’s to cure the trauma of being “disciplined” ie being physically assaulted by parents, then carrying that lack off trust into the world, then a deep relaxing sub will take some time to get working. Bear in mind Subliminal Club had the older tech (Q, Qv2 and OG subs) back in the day, it took me around 2 years.
Nowadays the ZP tech sub and all of the nervous system regulation titles (Ascension, DreamBoi, Regeneration, Sanguine, even Wanted) can cure that shit within a cycle or 2.
Important thing is plugging in the gaps helps with regulation, as you’re less able to be triggered. Good thing is you’re already doing that. My upwards results now are a result of calming and sealing oneself up.
That’s actually exciting to hear. Can’t believe I am fortunate enough to have found subclub. !!
What sub do you think helps with fixing a fractured sense of self due to trauma?
Frankly the one you’re on already is doing a fantastic job. Don’t be tricked into stopping the sub for reasons - that’s called recon.
the itch to jump straight into dragon reborn has been deadly lmao. I’ll complete the full cycle. Ty man
Rest day today - 19th June 1026
I had 2 old bad memories come to mind today that I haven’t thought about it in so long. It was around being treated horribly. That’s probably recon so I’ll have to go from 7 to 5mins again tomorrow
I have felt quite irritable today
I feel Very heavy in spirit and energy around people. Carrying so much within really stifles your energy.
Feeling like this in your early 20s is rough but the only way out is through.
Edit: recon has hit me hard today. this is only with lbfh and the art of happiness. thats genuinely crazy. I see why the ogs said its better to start with these titles first…
@Jouissance
June 20th
Today was even worse than yesterday.
It felt like gravity was crushing me today. I had so much anger towards my mother and old memories from high school that I hadn’t thought about in years came to mind.
It’s like experienced the sadness, hopelessness, rage, grief and more.
I believe I hold a lot of negative beliefs around self love, self worth, self acceptance and stuff like that— which makes so much sense to me.
June 21st
Woke up and I feel relatively better today. No heaviness .
June 22nd
Nothing to update
Edit: 2 hours later. I genuinely feel like quitting. My life circumstances have been really unfortunate but I think this recon is making everything 10x worse.
I understand that recon does this but my cycle will pretty much at the end of July. Another month of this?
It’s a good thing that you’re able recognize that you may have negative beliefs regarding the themes of the title. The solution here is to lower exposure. You can always, always, always lower exposure – with or without recon.
If LBfH and AoH is triggering this much recon, the themes of these titles must coincide with some form of deep trauma. If that is the case – that you know these subjects are wrapped up in a lot of deep emotion, always proceed slow. The foundational work is the most important and can be very rewarding once these issues are worked through.
Start running microloops and take an additional day off from your schedule.
You’ve hit upon some big mountain trauma that the sub will work its way through. Think of it like this:
You want to tie your shoelaces but they’re knotted up like a motherfucker. Recon is like finding a knot, the associated feelings are like saying “why can’t I get this fricking knot out???”. The solution might just be to take a mini break, while you figure out the shoelace issue.
Don’t let feeling bad be the end. Work through it at a comfortable pace, then your shoelaces will soon be knot free.
Not another month. Now that you recognize the issues you can start the word to address and dissolve them. Recon isn’t the enemy, it’s part of the healing process. The worst recon I’ve ever felt (I’m taking about lying in bed for 2 days, taking time off work) lead to my biggest breakthroughs.
yesterday i woke up feeling good. no recon. no body tension. no anxiety. just a sense of bliss. usually when i am going out to an event in the evening my solar plexus area tightens up and i didn’t get that at all.
that was pretty cool