Today, I celebrated Christmas with a family I had never met before, and it was a nice but unexpected experience. It was the family of a new friend of mine. Apparently, he had shared some details about my past (my mother’s passing, my dad leaving when I was 15, and still being in contact with him) and mentioned that I wasn’t planning to celebrate Christmas this year. He unexpectedly asked me to join them in celebrating Christmas. I found the idea quite surprising and thought, “Why not?” Normally, I would have celebrated with my old best friend’s family, but due to all the changes, I don’t see or speak to them as much anymore. Tomorrow, I’m flying to London to meet my dad, step-mother, and brother whom I see occasionally. I think the last time we met was about 2.5 years ago. It’s okay, but they’re not really my immediate family.
During our Christmas meal, they introduced a card game with thought-provoking questions written on them. Each person could pick a card and then had to answer the question. The questions were quite deep, such as “What is the most important thing for you in this family?” and “Are you taking good care of yourself?”.
Then, of course, I got the question “How was your childhood?” and I responded with “Rough.” This statement brought complete silence to the table. 
Then I added, surprising myself, “You know, I understand that my parents did the best they could given their circumstances, and I’m grateful for that. It shaped me into who I am today, and strangely enough, it has made me very good at my job. That’s all a son can ask from his parents.”
After that, I shared a bit about my past. I don’t mind discussing it; in fact, I often use it to connect with my students in class. In my humble opinion, being open about personal experiences is important, especially in the fields of psychology and social work. Reflecting on it now, I realize that my statement was very powerful, even though I didn’t give it much thought at the time. I used to harbor anger towards my dad for leaving and not being the father I needed, or towards my mother who could be manipulative and emotionally challenging. But like everyone else, they were flawed and had their own struggles (both had difficult pasts involving sexual abuse).
They did their best, and I will always love them for it. It’s a blessing to no longer feel the anger I once did. I’ve found peace with it and can now sometimes grieve my mother’s absence in a healthy way.
Today was a very special day in that sense, and I’m grateful that God placed this experience in my path today.
