Instilling Greatness (Khan/Chosen/LBfH)

[Tobyone]

From the book: Courage by Osho - Part 2

*- The word courage is interesting. It comes from the Latin root cor, which means “heart.” So to be courageous means to live with the heart. And weaklings, only weaklings, live with the head; afraid, they create a security of logic around themselves. Fearful, they close every window and door - with theology, concepts, words, theories - and inside those close doors and windows, they hide.

The way of the heart is the way of courage. It is to live in insecurity; it is to live in love, and trust; it is to move in the unknown. It is leaving the past and allowing the furture to be. Courage is to move on dangerous paths. Life is dangerous, and only cowards can avoid the danger - but then, they are already dead. A person who is alive, really alive, vitally alive, will always move into the unknown. There is danger there, but he will take the risk.

The heart is always ready to take the risk, the heart is a gambler. The head is a businessman. The head always calculates - it is cunning. The heart is noncalculating. The English word courage is beautiful, very interesting. To live through the heart is to discover meaning.

===

I remember someone telling me about something similar to the last sentance once; To live through the heart is to discover meaning. Because how many times haven’t I found myself planning and thought that I’ve figured out my life for a while, and only to be beaten down and being bored out of my mind again. Then, sometimes I just go with my intuition and just live spontaneously and in the moment, feeling completely free and that my life is full of wonder, that is until my mind catches up and starts to calculate again.

@Tobyone

So Khan is going to be the center of my stack as a fun and powerful man that wears his heart on his sleeve. Love is the greatest force in the universe, it is the glue that keeps everything together.

What I wrote in my first post in this journal. What I mean by this I guess is to live and lean into love, not just romantic love but the love for life, the love of not knowing anything of what this life is. Because a logical life is dull and makes you feel dead on the inside. Wearing your heart on your sleeve takes being vulnerable and humble, but owning it completely makes it your greatest strength.

But also one could argue that a life devoid of logic and only spontaneity would most certainly lead to an early death, so a balance is needed of course…

Hm, and I’,m a libra… should’t I be an expert on this little thing of distributing the loads evenly?

This morning made a great point. I overslept and was very tired as I woke up, and that all made me have some negative thoughts, which then resulted in a heavy mood, which just set of a negative spiral until I became enough awake to pull myself out of it. Energy management is everything, and by me not always managing that aspect makes me suffer when it is not necessary.

[Tobyone]

My heart is a bit sad at the moment. I came back to this city and the friends I met before. But I don’t feel as connected to them anymore, it is just like there is this invisible wall between us now. I have changed so much just over the two months that I have been away from this place, and my confidence scares people now even though I am like a teddybear and I do care.

I guess I just have to face the fact that most humans are not ready to dive just as deep as I’m diving. But by the law of attraction, shouldn’t I attract people alike? But then why do they all love me in the beginning, but as soon as I think I have really got to known them, they all shy away and run away with their tail between their legs…?

Big changes are on the way and it’s do or die I feel sometimes for the human race, but where are the fighters? Where are all the people that dare stand up for our rights to be free and sovereign beings? I really should be more selfish and make sure I am safe and have the means to survive right now, but at the same time, what’s the point if I don’t have friends and fellow human connections on the way making it all worth while?

Tomorrow I probably need to leave this place, it just isn’t the place for me anymore. Also, I cannot afford to live almost, and I have not had a place to call home for over a year and it hurts sometimes. But as the saying goes; the unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.

The next face is here I guess. I am not a young man anymore and I’m growing up fast. Why does everything in this little existance feel so intense at times, while probably in the waiting room for souls, incarnation into this existance as flesh and bone is probably just as exiting as that the newest rollercoaster at the funfair.

What I am experiencing is most certainly just normal, and is the way we all felt when we graduated from school and looking back at it all. Wherever I look it is just bread and circuses, and not enjoying it as I used to is just confusing…

[Tobyone]

Just after posting the above I remembered this clip from the movie “Coming To New York” with Eddie Murphy. He goes to New York to find real love, because in his palace at home he has everything served to him on a silver plate because he is the prince, but it is all so fake.

This is how I feel sometimes, not that I get everything I want with the snap of my fingers, but more that people seem at first to like me but in the end they are just fake(in my case mostly because they subconsciously put themself down.) I just want realness and people being vulnerable with me.

"The Royal Penis Is Clean, Your Highness" - Coming To America (1988) | CLIP HD

Any oldies in here will remeber this one

[Tobyone]

[Tobyone]

Treading Water

I feel a lot of frustration and anger today towards how ignorant and dumb down I have been over the years regarding what is really going on. In one way it all feels like a video game, and in one way it feels like a real thing. I’m guessing LBfH/Chosen combined with Khan is bringing this out in my and shedding light on it.

It also makes sense that the better and more comfortable you are in life, the less you generally are to notice and actually care about some of the darker agendas being carried out behind the scenes. Give them bread and circuses rings as true now as it did back then. I guess (I use those two words a lot I have noticed) less comfort and more stress triggers the deeper parts of the brain and the amygdala, and sets in motion trains of thoughts that are more about survival.

When your basic needs are being threatened or your freedom is being taken away, then all of a sudden something is triggered in people, and I feel like I’m at that point right now. Although I admit that I should not be in this situation that I’m in at the moment, and it shouldn’t be hard to survive with my background and upbringing.

But sometimes I feel that I’m doing this to myself, and have been for a while now, to actually feel something and give me a reason to dig deeper into the rabbithole. On the other hand it can be seen as an addiction, just like the druggie searching for another hit, but then again, isn’t that what our perceived life in this world with our ego’s really is about. Because if not, we would be enlightened enough to know how not to suffer.

Why do I care so much? And who is listening anyways?

[Tobyone]

The Unreal Self Cannot Know Real Love - Shunyamurti Teaching

[Tobyone]

Cycle 1

Completed loops:

Khan Complete ZP - 3 loops
Chosen ZP - 2 loop
Love Bomb FH ZP - 2 loop

Been experiencing a bit of recon of lately which is made clear just by reading my last couple of posts. Part of this is also my situation of low cash and no place to stay that is affordable in the long run. Sure, it makes you feel alive but it also pushes your buttons. I think with my level of being at the moment that the best thing for me would be to become an entrepreneur of some kind, one that just makes something out of nothing, and honestly that’s where I am at the moment, at nothing…

Also, I need to connect with people that can help me and especially with somewhere who can help me with somewhere to live at an affordable rent. At the moment with the crazy energy prizes I would have to pay around 1500-2000 dollars a month for 10m2 room with shared bathroom and kitchen. That amount of money could be the rent in a city for a large apartment easily, so that is kind of crazy. Just to put that in perspective, my old apartment that was 35m2 I payed around 300 dollars a month in rent for.

Chosen of Khan

I believe that most of the recon lately has come from Chosen. Reading the description again makes me see that my irritation lately has come from the positivity, the beacon of hope aura of Chosen, when in my current reality I have been under a lot of stress.

Another thing that I feel has been growing under the surface is the “shame on you” programming in our society. Whatever you do, don’t make any mistakes, and if you do, shame on you and we will now punish you and put a mark on you…

Human resources, just the word which is so popular in big companies says it all. We got a number, a barcode at birth and we are seen as commodities in a system that was created by a few elitists that believe they have more right to live than us.

They have created a corporate you and built a system where if you don’t comply, it will be hard to make any money to be able to survive. But there is one truth about you that they can never take away from you, and that is your humanity, and it is time to remind the human race about this ultimate truth and take back our lives.

Now all we have to do is stop arguing amongst each other and unite, that’s the only difference between the rulers and the ruled on this plane, they stick together and work towards a common goal.

Babysteps…

Babies start to crawl and then try to stand up over and over again until finally they succeed. Sadly this mentality of that everything is possible and keep trying until you make it is sedated and repressed on an industrial scale during our younger years. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them so you don’t have to repeat them, but we hear “shame on you,” and that turns into fear and self-hatred eventually, and all that for the most natural process a human being could ever perform.

When I say look at China to people, I always hear, but yeah that is China it would never happen here… And then they go and pay with their phone and say just how awesome it would be if you just could pay with your fingerprint. Haha, I even saw a clip on the social credit system in China recently where they were shaming people on the news for making even the smallest mistakes like jaywalking or failing to stop for a pedestrian.

If anyone has seen Black Mirror and the episode Nosedive should know that this is not just fiction anymore. Also, I remember that old movie Demolition Man with Sly Stallone, and I remember thinking that it was just science fiction lol…

But then again, what do we even know what is going on over there in China anyways with all the cencoring and propaganda that is prevelent all over the world. I was in China about 12 years ago, and it was a fascinating country, but also some places felt very controlled while others not so much.

Standing Up - Speaking Your Truth

So what we got is a general population that are scared to death of making mistakes and never wanting to stand out of the crowd. I’m done holding back, I will remove all my filters from now on. That does not mean I will just let go of my social calibration, but it does mean that I will speak my truth and not sell myself short or sugar-coat my words…

I remember my old mentor talking about this a lot, on how he learned to just be true to himself and say what’s on his mind. I always wanted to be like that, but at that time I was still a child on the inside. Khan/Chosen is highlighing this and bringing all of this I have mentioned to the surface.

The Way We Were Ment To BEE

It’s crazy just how powerful human beings are when we start leaning in to our humanity, when we honor our strengths. The answer is not out there in Hollywood where they give out prizes for best actors acting. The answer is in being, being yourself, and no one will give you any prizes for being yourself. But what does it matter, a self-actualized being is not seeking approval, because he or she has already approved themselves.

[Tobyone]

From the book: Courage by Osho - Part 3

Innocence Is Courage And Clarity Both

There is no need to have courage if you are innocent. There is no need, either, for any clarity because nothing can be more clear, crystal clear, than innocence. So the whole question is how to protect one’s innocence.

Innocence is not something to be achieved. It is nothing to be learned. It is not something like a talent: painting, music, poetry, sculpture. It is not like those things. It is more like breathing, something you are born with. Innocence is everybody’s nature. Nobody is born other than innocent

===

What is the only thing we have when we are born, and why is it so fascinating to look into the eyes of an infant? Innocence, they are so innocent and pure, and it evokes a spark inside of us and remembrance of where we came from.

This is our only currency coming into this plane of existance, and we barter it away for promise of wealth and status, and we give away our innocence. But what cannot be lost must be found again, and the prison we think we are in is not a prison at all, because the door has always been open.

I like the thought of that pure innocence needs no courage. It sounds so easy but apparently it’s not, or is it? Sometimes I wonder if the art of humbling oneself is a way of getting closer to that state of innocence? But maybe it is just the thought itself about all of this that is actually blocking the authentic self?

When there is so much fog that one can only see what is just in front of you, then what becomes a priority is only looking where to place your next step, and the the next, and so on, and there is no way you can look back at where you came from or neither looking forward to see your destination.

[Tobyone]

Dependent Origination

Recon is being replaced right now with some crazy flow moments. I have been putting off learning about dependent origination from Buddhism for whatever reason for a while now. Now I watched an hour long clip that a friend sent me, and it was so damn interesting and many bells rang in my head, and it ended with my having several epiphanies where I connected a lot that I have learned spiritually over the years together.

I do also believe that playing LBfH has helped me with this and may also have been guiding me in this direction. Another thing I just realized is that my natural humor has always been a bit wacky with quick wit and alot of imagination. This I have lost over several years of self-development where I have been taking things a bit too serious. The sensation I have at this moment writing this must be what writers say happens when writer’s block is not present, everything just flows, inspired action, pencil poetry or whatever.

Truly a goldfish moment, I forgot that I forgot, and who is there to remind me, a goldfish?

[Tobyone]

I am PaintPro v11.2208.6.0 Gotta love Paint…

Just ducking around a bit in Paint and letting out my creative-master-über-lord loose.

Imagine every mornig you get a cup full of Chi. This is your energy for the day or your life force (folks don’t jerk one off in the morning, it kills your Chi, not worth it .)

Ain’t that right Mr. Miyagi

Where do you put your attention and energy? Most people put a third in feeling anxious of what happened in the past, and then another third in worrying about the future. So that only leaves them with about 33.3% to put into the only thing that is real, here and now!

Then, at the end of the day when their friend calls and wants to take an evening walk, this person says the magic words; I’m too tired, I’m just going to order a pizza and watch some Netflix, sorry madude…

Why is this? If you think about it, this person lacks the basic energy needed to take a simple walk because 2/3 of it was thrown on things outside of his control anyways. Only 1/3 of the energy was not enough to last the whole day.

Everything is lighter in the present moment, I promise. Damn, I just realized that both Chosen and LBfH are awesome for this one thing Hihi…

[Tobyone]

As the drama unfolds on the forum, I’m just high as a kite from Chosen/LBfH

Consuela Family Guy We Need More Lemon Pledge

Actually what we really need

[Tobyone]

Holy Voice

So I was at a government office building today to get a paper. In those kind of places in Sweden there’s generally mostly immigrants and elderly people, and they have that traditional “get a number and wait for your turn” thing. It took a while and when my number was finally called I stood up and said; Yes that’s me with a big smile. I noticed how all the people sitting next to me jumped a bit and people immediately paid attention to me lol.

The voice on Khan is getting quite ridiculous to be honest, and it’s to the point that I actually have to calibrate a bit to not come across to strong. To me it does not feel as I’m talking loudly, but I guess its a combination of a deeper sounding and more impactful emotion behind it that makes it so direct.

More Buns To The People

Today it’s the national cinnamon rolls day here lol. I found myself in a supermarket just joking and flirting with a woman in pink tights, something about how nice cinnamon rolls are lol. I don’t even eat those things anymore but today I am apparently. She was giggling and became very feminine, and the voice again impacted her response to me greatly. I guess that’s why I like Khan so much, because I’m not really a smooth talker or casanova chasing girls around. I like when it just happens naturally and they invite themselves almost.

Also Chosen and LBfH is leaving an impression on me. I find myself just walking around and almost getting lost at times, but in a flowy and funny way where I feel joyful and humorous about it. It might also be some restover from all the insights I had yesterday with the whole Dependent Origination thingy. But the whole humor and joy scripting and their synergy is quite insane

Need more joy in your life? Chosen + LBfH is your answer.

[Tobyone]

Highlighting Some Objectives Of Chosen

Some reflections about Chosen after about half a cycle…

Quickly elevate your internal sense of status and power to the level of royalty

Maybe it’s just the word Royalty, but I have been feeling remarkably stable and strong in myself recently. It has a certain cool and soothing feeling to it, just as if you were lying in a sun chair smiling at the sun.

Develop a deep sense of hope, peace and positivity for the future

This sounds like a cheat sheet, like a wall hack for living a good life. Who would not want more hope and positivity when looking forward in their lives? So far I feel this effect at times, and especially when I have been having some doubt about things. It makes it burn away quicker and settles the mind into a more tranquil state again.

Irradiate an energetic aura of pure positivity, hope, kindness and absolute strength

This one I have been experiencing at random times when I least would have expected it. One time that stood out was this random dude at a supermarket that greeted me with a handshake like I was his saviour or something.

[Tobyone]

Gahhhh

Deep stuff is being weeded out, frustration has taken a hold of me today completely and I’m almost paralyzed with anxiety in my stomach area. My amygdala is reacting just like I was bayonet charging trench to trench in WWI, it’s crazy. Money is almost out and all the places are dirt expensive, I’m close to being a full homeless person now. Basic needs are a thing I have noticed.

Logically I know it’s nothing to be this upset over, but I do think I know where my hangup comes from, and that is an unwillingness to conform to society like I used to do unwillingly before. But the difference today is that I have the tools to go my own way, but for some annoying reason all this shit anxiety comes up. I need to get over the first bump, then it is easy…

For the time being I guess I have to cave in and get some help from the government to get back on keel again, even though I don’t want anything to do with the government in the way it is set up today. But it is set up the way it is currently, and it’s not going to change for a while as long as we the people are still asleep.

Lastly, and probably one of my deepest issues in getting forward in life… I hate, absolutely hate asking people for help! This one was deeper than I thought it was, the one where I don’t want to bother other people, I just want to be on my own. Probably why I have lived my life mostly alone and never had a relationship before.

But where do you start with no money, no place to live, no friends left, and family living in another country? I guess I’ll have to find that one out. It was a long long time since I was feeling this anxious.

I have a small hunsh that I have subconsciously driven myself to the end of this steep cliff to be able to feel something, and to be forced to change, and burning all my bridges. It should’t really have gone this far, but I’m beginning to think that it was absolutely necessary. Dig a deep hole, and you better be good at building tall ladders…

Before I got my motivation from anger and frustration, but today that doesn’t work anymore, it’s just not sustainable.

[Tobyone]

It’s kinda funny that all this anxiety is showing itself today when I just started to expand my study of Buddhism. I read a third of this book today, and it is triggering my old habit of taking things too personal, instead of just taking an impersonal stance to everything just as the Buddha said.

I will revisit my notes about Dependent Origination now I think before going to sleep…

[Tobyone]

Ahhh, came on universe, stop it!

[Azriel]

Sounds really rough
I really hope you find a way to stabilize and get your basics met
In terms of driving yourself to the cliff where one can gain sovereignty over one self, remained centered/stable and non -anxious with that level of ‘survival concern’ without basic needs being met, I don’t think it’s necessary to go there for one’s development.

To start to be open to asking for help and being contributed to-is very valuable though. When I ask for everything I want and need- my life moves smoother and faster. And I always give back and look out for others when/where I can as well.

[Tobyone]

Thank you @Azriel

I think I drove myself away from society over the last two years of my life, and now I’m reluctant to rejoin it because I sometimes choose to see only the negative sides of it. It is strange though, and especially after subliminals for a while, just how more lonely things get when you become more confident. Nothing bad in that generally, but just that I have to learn not to wait for things but reach out and grab them.

Let’s call it something; The void in logical brain left after healed learned helplessness syndrome and now instead just go and do it like a Gigchad

[RVconsultant]

Rather than rejoin society, how about reshaping it in the name of truth?

Keep speaking truth as reality is spoken into existence.

[Lion]

@Tobyone

probably one of my deepest issues in getting forward in life… I hate, absolutely hate asking people for help! This one was deeper than I thought it was, the one where I don’t want to bother other people, I just want to be on my own. Probably why I have lived my life mostly alone and never had a relationship before.

Same here, my friend. Am coasting on charity and that is not the place to be. I spend little but that means I have to earn more.

Do you already have Survival Instinct? If you do, I think it will be a good add-on to your stack to figure this out.

Maybe a small time job that helps you with your basic needs is the need of the hour.