I am going through a severe episode in my life, the likes of which I have never experienced before (not counting the last few months). All the difficulty is not coming from the outside, but lives inside of me. The fact is that I have lost all motivation to do anything in this life, I don’t feel any drive: not to create, not to make money, not even to sincerely dream about anything. I remember times when I had so much ambition and goals that I didn’t want to die until I made all my ideas a reality, and every day I took steps towards my goals, I was the most dreamer ever. But, not now…now I feel devastated, shrouded in a fog of despair, with no way to see the lighthouse light. Simply put, I’m an I.T. guy, doing system administration and iOS development, but I literally have -100 points of desire to do anything, to develop and learn. It used to be like I was engulfed in a black hole of new knowledge, of something I was interested in, but now I’m not interested in anything. Even history, which I’ve been fascinated with since I was 6, doesn’t bring me any pleasure or even interest. It’s a stage of deep and rapid stagnation that has replaced the very drive to learn and create.
I thought the money related titles would help me. I even started listening to Stark and Index Gate because I remember SaintSovereign’s words about Stark and Index Gate being a rocket-like combo in IT. Unfortunately, however, I don’t see any improvement.
I sincerely admit to being helpless. Please help me. I need help as I cannot help myself. I have heard that Genesis helps in cases like this, however I have not purchased it yet and have never listened to it. I have had thoughts of purchasing LOTS: if I see changes in the exterior, maybe there will be changes on the inside? However, what scares me is that LOTS is quite demanding on energy and vitality. Anyway, any help would be welcome.