I'm pretty lost in life, does anyone else feel like you're stuck on a hamster wheel?

Questions and Comments
#8

You’d be surprised how good you can get at something when you do it every day for multiple hours. I would imagine you didn’t start off being an incredibly skilled knowledge worker. I tend to disagree with the idea of “aptitude” because regardless you didn’t come out of the womb great at something. You had to learn you were good or even had a knack, through repition.

If you have the financially security for it, I’d reccomend taking a few months off work, pursuing music like your going to make a career out of it, and then see where you’re at.

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#9

@Malkuth To be honest I both love and hate this advice. This has been the recurring problem in my life I don’t DO but I also seriously struggle with the action of it. You’re totally right, but I hate it at the same time and I wish I wasn’t like this. Maybe 3 things is more reasonable for me right now. 20 is intimidating.

@Serafim I legitimately don’t know. I think the answer to everything I’ve been struggling with is more experiences and less thinking like was suggested above so I figure out who I am. But I’m also so averse to new experiences I shoot myself in the foot. Well maybe I should get back on Genesis lol, mid thought stream seems like that’s the perfect sub for me right now actually.

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#10

I hear that.

:blue_heart:

Your superpower is thinking about things. And this advice strikes at its core.

I’m in the same boat.

But remember:

You won’t lose yourself, because you can’t lose yourself.

All you’ll do is expand. And discover new sides.

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#11

Unfortunately I don’t have that financial security. I mean I have a small cushion but the stress of draining my bank account would be counterintuitive to commiting to the music. That’s my if shit goes south fund I keep around.

I’ve got a lot of other stuff going on now too. It might be a plan for the future when I’ve got more solid footing. I might just be biting off more than I can chew right now.

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#12

Build some momentum.

Do 1 thing outside your normal routines first.

Talk to someone. Or go try some activity. Anything. Doesn’t have to be anything mindblowingly different.

Just do something this week.

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#13

I feel the same way, though my analogy is trying to make a hole through a prison wall while sewage leaks in through the bars.

Don’t care about killing it at my job, money is the only reason I care to keep up and put up with it. Interests are fickle, those that have sustained over the years are so niche I have no one to talk about them to, support circles dissolved by work rotation, kids etc.

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A human bean's journal
#14

How much of this is existential?

Meaning or purpose in your life?

Self-actualization?

Getting in touch with your true self?

Feeling in harmony with life?

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#15

I’m just really starting to think it’s like playing catch up with a foundation that was never built properly. But life keeps moving and it needs a rework. But how do you dismantle something like that if it’s actively keeping you afloat without introducing chaos into your life?

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#16

All that honestly. I’ve had to reassess almost every aspect of my life after embarking on my gender transition.

I’m inclined to think my heavy existentialism is because I legitimately never lived as myself. Like how do you even make sense of life if your experience of it was through a stained window?

Sounds like I should re add Genesis to my stack honestly.

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#17

What are your thoughts about that, and how might it integrate with what you are currently listening to?

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#18

Right now I’m running

Sanguine
Ascension for women
Helen of Troy

Sanguine has definitely kicked up some stuff so I’d like to keep it. And I just need more stability and disregard for the disrespectful opinion of others even more than ever

Ascension for women has helped but I feel like swapping out with Genesis would give me an edge with the NSE. I like AFW but it looks like it could maybe benefit from an upgrade. I did pretty well on Genesis, it’s what led me to figuring out my gender identity issues and do something about it.

Helen of Troy I’m keeping this one long term. It’s absolutely essential in my stack right now. I need all the help I can get with physical shifting to make my life easier down the line.

#19

No idea, it seems like one of those “time to vanish for a month to find oneself” things in fiction. Don’t know anyone who’s done that IRL though.

I think the last time I had a “what’s the point” moment this year I shut down until the feeling passed, then kept on going but still haven’t figured out the answer. Currently trying to focus on one thing at a time, not sure if it helps.

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#20

In your defense, that constitutes a really big move.

Give yourself a break.

Yep.

Genesis is a core in my primary custom subliminal.

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#21

Classic me. “Oh yeah no big deal just uprooting every aspect of my life, I should be able to do everything else on top of this” lol

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#22

I relate deeply with everything you say, the closest useful answers I came across so far in my life is I shouldn’t worry about it because it will all make sense eventually and sooner than later, and also failure doesn’t actually exist, like it’s not a thing, we can’t fail as individuals, this whole earth game is confusing on purpose.

All the love to you, we got this somehow maybe :heart:

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#23

It’s tough I feel you. One thing at a time, one foot in front of the other on what feels like a tightrope. We’re all resilient going through this, sometimes it’d be nice for the resilience to just stop being necessary and coast for a bit.

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#24

I appreciate everyone who weighed in on this thread. It helped me settle on running Genesis again. A lot of the stuff I wrote about is in that title. Like word for word some of the stuff that’s been in my head I’ve been grappling with is addressed in that title. I’ve realized I legit don’t know how to exist in the material without either being strung along or just completely detached. Genesis seems like a much needed stepping stone to getting to where I want to be in life.

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#25

Bingo. (Somewhat, just don’t rely on external circumstances because they can be taken away from you)

Believe it or not, a large percentage of the population are going through the same existential questions you’ve raised in multiple replies on this thread. Some of them squash those feelings with the various dopamine vices. Those that don’t have those feelings and are still worldly, that’ll be the ones playing the part of Cypher in the Matrix, or the agents :wink:.

One thing that can help is genuine connection with other people. The psychological manipulation techniques being used by the people trying to “reset” the great machine, so to speak, are designed to either create a feeling of isolation, or divide group against group. Here’s a good example a friend of mine sent me:

At first, this seems like a great idea. “peace and security!” people love to cry. I don’t want to have to deal with that angry customer yelling at me. But that angry customer is angry for a reason, and is treating you like dirt because they are forgetting you’re a person too and they feel powerless to resolve their problem. When I learned the skills of working in a call center, they emphasized gaining rapport with the customer. Well guess what? This throws that all out the window. If you can’t hear the tone of someones voice, you can’t connect with them. This is the first step to creating a society of disconnected robots following the script their knowledge base system tells them to follow.

The best defense against this artificially imposed isolation is to connect with others and find things you have in common that you can feel passionate about or work towards, to replace feeling lost with purpose. To a single person, getting from zero to your goal can seem overwhelming. But if different people with different skills can solve the problem together, it becomes easier. Like in Babylon 5 “And the Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place” (S03E20), where the pastor had to point out the the commander to reach out to Delenn to help shoulder the burden he felt was his alone.

I can’t say I’m living these values 100%, and I still have stress in my life every day. But I’m learning gradually to push through this towards my own survival goals. Hope this helps.

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#26

That’s some horrifying use of tech wow.

Honestly I struggle with this, a lot. Even making this post here on the forum was difficult for me. I’m used to being alone and relying on myself to a fault. And people in my life have a tendency to think I’m doing better than I am because I’ve been so emotionally blunted and unexpressive for most of my life. I pretty much fail to communicate my needs both to myself and others. So I really understand the importance of this you’re totally right. One more check for running Genesis.

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#27

It’s important to reconnect with what brings you true happiness and purpose. Step away from what doesn’t resonate with your true aspirations and focus on what really matters to you. Prioritize your happiness above all other external expectations. It’s about navigating life authentically; staying true to yourself. Staying true to yourself will lead you to a life that feels genuine and meaningful.

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