Total Reprogramming, BL, Dancer
Cycle 1 - Day 8 - Rest
Insights
I might as well frame every single thing that happens in my life as an opprotunity for growth and expansion, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
I was shit tested twice in the last few days, pretty minor stakes but both somewhat uncomfortable. My response both times, dispite the emotional discomfort was to remain as calm and silent as possible until I gathered my wits. Then I reflected on both situations and learned that the ideal response is to calmly respond without being shaken at all. Well, I didn’t do that both times–I couldn’t do that–but next time I’ll respond better. Hell, the way I responded both times was a hell of a lot better than I could have responded.
It’s always better to say nothing then to blurt out something from a frame of internal weakness and insecurity. Sure, the ideal situation is to be unshaken and fearless, but if the best you can do is say nothing than that’s still much better than saying something from a frame of internal weakness and insecurity–at least it’s more respectable and more socially intelligent. So in this situation I have two results–being shit tested and responding with silence initially then calm after. Being shit-tested is a result I should have expected from Khan, it’s right on the sales page, but I forgot that it takes the concious mind a little while to catch up with the subconcious programming. This catch-up period happened on my long Emp and Wanted stack also, I would start getting manifestations in the material world, but I wasn’t yet in the mindset to deal with them in the best possible way. Nothing to fear here–the subs are working and my responses are changing.
Everything is going according to plan. Last night I began to realize why I feel so odd on TR as compared to Emperor and Wanted.
First, Emperor and Wanted seemed to fit my personality pretty well to begin with. Lone wolf (Emperor), a bit flamboyant (Wanted), and allowing women and people to come to me (both). Khan is a different type of guy whose more in line with who I want to be not who I currently am. I don’t want to be a lone wolf and I want to be more active with women and other people.
Second and related to the first point, Total Reprogramming is trying to turn me into the man I’ve always wished of becoming, whereas Emperor and Wanted helped me improve the man I already was. Emperor and Wanted took all the qualities I already had (good and bad)–coquettishness, lone wolfness, single minded focus, outrageousness, vanity–and aplified and improved them into useful and productive traits. That’s of course, what Wanted and Emperor did for me personally so I doubt it will be the same for everybody. The man I dream of becoming is quite different from the man that I currently am (or used to be), so naturally it’s going to be a little bit more challenging to become him. More needs to shift to become who I’ve always dreamed of becoming.
Third and related to both of the above points, TR is turning me into the man that I’ve always dreamed of becoming. I don’t know the script, but I can tell that this is a different process than Emp or Wanted. This is a self transformation subliminal and I wonder if it would benifit from more concious guidance than other subliminals due to the intensive nature of self-transformation.
Forth and related to all the above comments, there is a lot that I want to shift in myself and that takes time and energy. Everyday I’m confonted with some quality that I have that I don’t like and want to change and the list is bound to keep growing through the rest of the cycle.
I want to be powerful, rich, socially masterful, intelligent, healthy, and joyvial. I want to be fearless and unshakable. I want to be very different from what I am now, and that might take time.
What I’m gonna do about it
I’m planning on running TR for as long as it takes until I feel ready for Total Action. The subliminal will tell me when it’s time to switch. It could be two more cycles (as planned) it could be 6 cycles, it could be 12 cycles. I don’t feel the need to rush with subliminals anymore. There is no rush. I’m becoming the man I want to be right now, and that can take as little or as much time as it takes, I don’t really care too much because I’m finally seeing that these products, though very powerful, are tools.
No one can doubt the power of steriods for preformance enhancement, but they don’t give you a free pass and will only work if you put in the work. Subliminals are like steroids for self-development–utterly powerful and transformative, but essentially useless if the work isn’t put in. This experiment might last the next 3 freaking years, or it might last the next 2 cycles, I really don’t care and it really doesn’t matter because I see that subliminals can only ever be tools. The subliminals can do so much, but you will always have the power to override the programming and sit on the couch and eat Ben and Jerry’s while watching porn.
I’m going to treat subliminals like steriods. Just like with steroids, I’m going to do everything in my power to optimize my cycle and let them work. Just like with steroids, no work = no gains.
If it lasted three years, then the plan would be simple: I’d run each stage for a whole year and play with the other two slots in my stack to adapt to circumstances. It just might last three years, heck it might last the rest of my life. Khan seems to be good to me and seems to be growing in exactly the way I want it to grow. As I grow with Khan, it might be my single sub that I run for the long haul, might not. It’s impossible to predict how I will feel a week from now, let alone a couple months or years.
