Just in case:
Are you getting physical exercise?
Sounds simplistic, I guess. But sometimes it really helps.
If you’re a music person, put some of your favorite angry-angst music on, go to a track and run. Or rowing machine. Or whatever makes you breathe.
nah. just a simple reminder.
am in some recon myself right now.
I hate to say this, but if it’s still doing that to you, you probably aren’t done with it. That said, I’m not sure that you ever really get DONE with a healing sub. We are never 100% healed and there is a time to call it good enough for now and move on.
After I made this post I went back in to work and came to the same conclusion. I feel like I need to run this sub until the recon goes away. I think I’ll just add in my custom next cycle so I can make progress with my health and body and continue healing.
In other news, I think my boss wants me, so once again I’ve been given proof that it’s working, it’s just so damn uncomfortable. She kept getting really close to me, and we bumped into each other a few times and other subtle physical signals.
I’m gonna start working out again. Which is my way of saying…no, I haven’t been haah.
Decreasing loop time is certainly on the table. If it’s this hard, then I need it. I might just need to heal slower than I wanted too and extend the experiment beyond a year.
Yeah. This bit really bears repeating.
I’ve been switching my paradigm.
A lot of beginners (self included) tend to emphasize the exposure to the subliminals.
More experienced users seem to emphasize the processing of the subliminals.
If your mind has been processing Khan for 1 week; then that’s “1 week of Khan”;
and that’s true, whether you’ve listened to Khan, during that week, for 1 minute or for 5 hours.
That can be a sticky situation right there.
Yeah, that might just be good general advice for life, even.
Why not invest in QL ? rather then using BL
I thought about it quite a lot.
Beyond is supposed to be faster and lighter which seemed like the better fit to run alongside Khan. Do you have experience running Khan and QL?
Then he’d be running two intense four stagers at the same time. That is probably not a great idea.
Oh yeah, for many extra reasons not discussed it’s not a good idea. But, I’ve had a crush on her for a while and I always suspected that she had some interest, now it’s essentially confirmed. Don’t intend to pull the trigger on that one for like 3 distinct reasons: she’s my BOSS, I have a girlfriend (and I’m not looking to break any hearts atm), I want to keep this job. If she makes a move, it would be a big confidence boost, so I’m gonna manifest her making a move, just for fun. 
That’s where it can go south. If you turn her down and she’s the vindictive type, it can go bad for you. Plus dealing with HR about a female boss as a male is a crap shoot at best.
Khan Total Breakdown & Beyond Limitless: Cycle 2 Day 4 - Rest
Recon, recon, recon and more recon. I feel okay this morning–better than yesterday–but not optimal.
Now what?
I impulsively went to see my girl friend last night while still in moderate recon. I could see the track that my mind was on and something within me gave me the good sense to keep my damn mouth shut. She doesn’t need to hear my insane recon thoughts. I’m really glad I made that choice. Not only was it better for our relationship, it’s better for me.
For years I’ve known that I need to keep my cards closer to my chest and learn to really analyze my plans before I talk about them. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but one of the biggest reasons is respect. I tend to impulsively talk about my ideas without really thinking about how my words affect others. If I go on a tirade about some crazy new business plan that I have, people might listen to me. When I give up on the plan because I spoke too soon, people don’t respect me as much. It’s a simple lesson: think before you speak and keep to your word.
Keeping your word is a superpower. What’s the best way to keep your word? SAY LESS! Don’t make idle promises, don’t make impulsive commitments. Act first, speak later. Little skills like this are the way forward.
Total Breakdown is making me very conscious about the words I use.
Ugh, it’s tough to focus right now.
Update.
I just gotta deal with the recon. It is what it is, y’all.
Shortly after my update I noticed some more positive effects, but it’s like a wave. Positive effects wash upon the shore, then the tide recedes leaving the negative mind states associated with recon. I guess this is just a game of trust.
I kind of want to laugh. I’m holding this gun to my own head, nobody is making me, heck, my life before this Khan journey was just fine. The door is always open, I can always cut this cycle, take a washout early, and hop back on Emp and Wanted and join the experimental testing. The only thing that was “upsetting” to me on Emp and Wanted was that I wasn’t getting laid as much as I wanted and my body wasn’t as perfect as I wanted. Did I mention that I actually got pretty lazy on my last stack? Yeah, wasn’t really taking much action but I was still manifesting love interests daily, and still was in pretty good shape–7/10 if I’m being honest.
On that note, I’m still immune to fat gain thanks to my time with Wanted. I’m permanently at around 12-15% body fat and that holds true after 3 weeks of eating like absolute crap on Khan ST1.
The sub is working.
Noticeable Results
The results that I can really notice is that more people are more open to me, more often. I’m slowly becoming more open also. It seems like Total Breakdown is primarily healing a bunch of my social hang-ups that survived Emp and Wanted. This makes perfect sense to me because in my belief (my belief, doesn’t mean it’s true) social life is the single most important aspect of your life. It’s above and beyond anything and everything. The ability to make friends, be close to people, and be open with people is the foundation of what I consider to be a good life.
What’s Next?
Ehh, just embrace the suck and make it through this cycle. That’s all, I can’t make decisions on washout.
Yet another update, the final update of the day. Beyond Limitless is truly something special and I find it hard to imagine what Quantum Limitless or even regular old Limitless would do. Will I ever find out? Who knows, that would be years off. Today, I spent two hours doing homework before class and was one of the best prepared in class. I didn’t even do homework for a second class and yet again, I was one of the best-performing students in the class. For this second class that I didn’t do homework for, once again, I was able to gather from the context of the discussion (and some quick skimming) enough about the source material to give the impression that I had read. Ha! It’s really amazing.
Will I ever find out what Limitless and Quantum Limitless are like? Honestly, I have no idea. That would be so far off in the future (based on how I’m currently seeing my path) that it’s not really worth considering. I was already kinda smart (school smart) because once upon a time I worked very, very hard, but seeing my smarts maximized (after only a cycle and a half with heavy recon from Khan) I’m pretty damn inspired. Sounds silly to some, but I now fully believe that I’m plenty smart enough to do everything I want to do in the near future. Sure, I’m no genius, but who said I even wanted to be one in the first place? 
Intelligence, for me, is just a means to an end–learning faster == more time for fun and living life and probably more money too.
Of course, I have to wonder if TB is making BL work better because it’s removing my hangups around being smart.
On the topic of TB, it seems that it’s really targeting my social hangups around men in particular, which is great because I love women almost more than life itself, but oh boy, do I want better friendships. I also just kinda love people, and it feels nice to be able to connect better. Plus, power and dominance don’t discriminate on the basis of gender.
What else?
Oh yeah! For months and months and months now (previous journals) I’ve talked about how Wanted has permanently lowered my body fat set point. Well today is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Today, I ate 3,000 kcal worth of pure sugar (candy) in addition to a protein shake and a reasonably vegan taco bowl (total calories about 3,600) and once again, the scale refused to budge.
I also started working out again and that leads me to the second part of this journal, one of acceptance.
Accepting Human Limitations
I really hate the word “limitation” but I have to accept that even though human beings are limitless, there are certain biological needs (food, sleep, water and time) that prevent us from doing EVERYTHING we want to do. Let’s be real, we must sleep, we must eat, and we (appear to be) are bound by time.
I had to accept that I just don’t care that much about the gym. In the next few days, I will need to accept other things that I don’t care about as well. I must structure my life in order of priority, and gym is pretty low on the list. Does that mean I stop working out? Nope!
I must workout with the absolute minimum effective dose to achieve three key aims:
Decrease Recon
Improve Overall Health (cognitive, mental, physical, spiritual)
Get the best body that time allows
What does that mean? It means 2 days a week and I simply won’t work out more than that because other things are just more important to me. Will I ever be huge? Nope, don’t want to be either, I’m long and lean and that’s how I like to stay. Will I ever have a fitness mag body? Probably not, but I will have a male fashion model body and that’s what I want. Will I ever maximize my strength? Nope, and I really don’t care either. I admire the hell out of athletes but I’m not one and I don’t want to be one. I just don’t care. I don’t need to maximize my body and fitness to be happy, it’s just not my path, man.
2 days a week is what I’m willing to do, and it’s the minimum effective dose to hit all muscles and see improvement in all areas of life–including motivation (I recently learned).
So, having said all that. I worked out tonight and I made a 2 day a week full-body workout program. I’ll do a little hit cardio on those workout days for a little dose of cardio also. Once I get my physical shifting custom, all bets are off man. I will have the body of my dreams because my dream body is within reach. Brad Pitt in Fight Club, it’s really not that far off.
Other News
Saint replied to me (not tagging because I want him and Fire to keep working on the new programs), and really helped put my mind at ease about Khan. Maybe I’m like Saint and Alpha subs don’t gel with me, but I suppose I will find out soon enough. If I ever need to stop and change subs, well, I will. I take full responsibility for my stuff. I ask a lot of recon questions on the forums, but it’s always coming from the frame of mind of me accepting that I’m creating my own hell (by running more than I need to) but still seeking help.
That’s perhaps the final bit of acceptance: I’m stubborn, but I do listen. I listen to all of you (listen with my eyes) I just don’t always follow your advice as it’s given. I analyze what you say, think back on myself, and find my own solution. Often, I would have been better off if I had just done what I was told to do, and if TB sees this as a limit to my success, it’ll break that down also.
This stubborn/listen/not-listen thing points out another weakness I need to overcome: how I interact with people in general.
Okay, that was long but today felt like a breakthrough. Later.
Khan Total Breakdown & Beyond Limitless: Cycle 2 Day 6 - Rest
Woke up with another slight reality shift, similar to the one yesterday but this one is targeted to a specific topic: I’m paranoid and delusional.
I woke up realizing that my perceptions of other people, their intentions, and how I fit into all of it, is wrong to the point of it being silly at the best times and delusional at the worst times.
Once again, it’s a bit difficult to explain, but yesterday I used the example of “embodied knowledge” and I think that fits here today as well. I had already come to the conclusion that I was delusional after a few interpersonal experiences that helped me realize that my perceptions of people were pretty radically out of sync with reality. Now, I really feel that fact to be true.
In the past, I used to grossly overestimate how evil, conniving, and deliberately manipulative other people were and I used to lie to myself about it. I would always say that “people are inherently good,” and “I love people” and all these other things, but I now realize that deep down inside me, I was terrified of other people and always assumed that they were trying to hurt me.
I know where this programming came from and I’m glad it’s on the chopping block, get rid of it TB, don’t want it anymore.
Total Breakdown The GOAT
This has been the best product I’ve run so far. It’s been a harrowing journey, but now that TB is really digging in deep and the recon is manageable, I’m so glad that I’m running it and I’m starting to see the forest through the trees.
Update.
What the hell am I doing with my life? I’m not serious enough man, my goals and dreams are just words words words. I’m not attached to any of them. No wonder I’m so listless right now, I’m just doing stuff and I don’t know what I’m doing or why.
Brothers and Sisters of SubClub. What the hell am I doing with my life? Like really? Why the hell do I overcomplicate everything regardless of the ABUNDANT evidence around me of my potential?
I wanted to finish college with a 4.0, manifested it, and did it against all reasonable odds. Hell, when I had done it, I didn’t even feel like I deserved it.
Wanted to manifest specific girls, manifested each and every one of them into my life and the ones that I had the balls to take action with, what happened? I got them. Boom, simple.
Wanted specific friends. Boom, pathway opened and I got them.
I wanted to get in to this school. That’s where I am, right now, as I write this.
I wanted this job. Got it.
I wanted this board position. Got it.
Where is the disconnect? Where is it? Show me the freaking disconnect. I need to see it so I can move forward. The manifestations I’ve listed don’t even scratch the surface. Why am I not rolling in the mud with 15 girls? I could be, I actually could be. Where is the disconnect? Where is the disconnect? I need to find this disconnect.
WHAT DO I WANT?
I really don’t know what I want.
There is no competition man, there is nothing to fear. The whole freaking world is ours for the taking, no body even cares enough to stop us.
I went to a coffee shop today and the barista, who was he? Idk, just a dude. Look at the people around you. 99.9999% of them will never even attempt greatness. Dude, the barrier to success is set so damn low that the mere act of trying is enough to succeed in many instances.
Why do I overcomplicate everything? What is it that I’m trying to achieve by overcomplicating everything? Like really? Why am I so delusional that I mistake anthills for mountain ranges? Nobody, not a single person on Earth is trying to stop me. Nobody even cares unless I force myself into their life and make an enemy of them. Nobody is stopping me but myself.
What the hell do I even want?
Everything is right here for the taking.
I’m standing in the middle of a forest. Surrounded by little hills. Walk out of the freaking woods and plant a flag! No body even wants the hill I want. They are all unoccupied.
What the hell do I want?
What the hell do I want?
I can have anything. There is no resistance outside myself. All challenges are actually an illusion. Life is easy and there is no competition unless I make it a contest.
Khan Total Breakdown, Beyond Limitless Dancer: Cycle 2 Day 7 - Dancer
Got my new custom last night, and I took that as a sign from my subconscious or the universe that I should add it into my stack. It arrived as I was having an unplanned cheat-day, I checked my email, and there is was!
The plan is mostly unchanged, except I will add Dancer into the rotation following the standard listening schedule. I’m gonna listen to TB and BL on the same day and Dancer separately.
Total Breakdown + Beyond Limitless
Rest
Dancer
Rest
Total Breakdown + Beyond Limitless
Rest
Dancer
Physical Shifting Core
Emperor Fitness ST3 Core
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
Emperor Fitness Height Inducer
Male Enhancement
APS: Hair
SPS: Fat Burn
Personal Touch Core
Enchanting Smile
Entranced
Elegance
Ethereal Presence
Results Enhancers and Nutrition
Epigenetics & DNA Modulator
Fusion Optimized
Health Codex
Mosaic
Quick update on Dancer. Calmed the recon, and I feel energized. Great news!