Hello everyone, I discovered this forum about two weeks ago and have been researching as much as I can since then. However, I am having difficulty finding what is right for me, so I am seeking advice.
I’m 29 years old and the only child in my family. From childhood until now, I’ve been quite shy, passive, insecure, and antisocial. My self-confidence was damaged in childhood; I was excluded and people made fun of my appearance. As a result, I grew up staying on the sidelines, watching from the corner, and settling for that. I have no relationship to speak of in my life. The only time I ever liked someone was in high school, and that was the first time I was alone with someone. I was so nervous I couldn’t even look them in the eye. I couldn’t even say hello. After that day, I always avoided women. There were people online who showed interest in me, and I felt quite comfortable talking to them, but in real life, I never went anywhere with anyone, or even talked to anyone for more than 10 minutes. I just looked into their eyes (from the outside, I probably looked indifferent, confident, and alpha-like because my experiences had shaken my confidence in all women). But inside, I was filled with broken dreams and missed opportunities. Maybe if I had taken a step, I could have experienced very different relationships and happiness. I wanted to take a step, but the fear of rejection, not knowing what to say, and the anxiety of approaching someone—since I couldn’t do these things, others came and took the people I liked away from me. Now I want to change; I don’t want to die regretting it.
True Social is what you seek, mate. It addresses all the issues you mentioned and helps you develop what you need. You could run Inner Circle along True Social in order to build your “tribe”.
Good luck.
Thank you for your reply, but will these really be the solution? Primal, Khan Emperor, Primal Seduction—won’t these be helpful as well?
Yes, but those are more advanced titles, and it would be easier and faster to build solid foundations with the subs I mentioned.
However, I see that you’re also looking to seduce women and develop alpha traits, so Ascension and Godlike Masculinity would be a better choice than True Social and Inner Circle.
Perhaps, True Social and Godlike Masculinity.
How long do I need to listen to these?
There’s no definite answer to this question as each of us is an unique individual.
I would say that once you’ve dealt with and accomplished all what you mentioned in the first post, you could move on to a seduction sub like Primal or Khan. If I were to guess, I’d say six months should be enough.
What else can I do to make it shorter? Also, I just wanted to mention the cycle. I wanted to say 1 cycle or 3 minutes.
Any idea what caused this shyness? I was the same in my early years - no real friends, kids teachers and parents openly mocking me, coming from a violent, authoritarian upbringing and carrying that lack of confidence well into my 40s.
It could just be a case of finding out whether the shyness was childhood related or the average social upbringing, amongst other things. Also get clear on what you would like to change about yourself and your own goals. Something with a positive feedback loop so you trust what other people say about you.
True Social (good friends), Chosen (positive leader), AoH (joy), Love Bomb (self worth) are good starter subs, but do read the objectives.
I’d avoid putting any kind of timeframe on these sort of things, because they are individual and you do not want to let anticipation interfere with your results. Furthermore, trauma and social conditioning can have a kind of inertia, so even if you experience euphoric initial results, you might fall back into old patterns for quite some time until you subconsciously accept the “new normal”, so give it time.
My ears were small but protruded slightly. After I had my hair cut, they made fun of me. I was afraid to have my hair cut anymore. They also made fun of my face (I was physically abused by my teachers, and some of them made fun of me) and excluded me. I was just a child, but they didn’t accept me into their group. I still can’t forget it. It’s still fresh in my memory, just like the first day. My family didn’t interfere with how I was raised. I was quite energetic and never stayed home. All I wanted to do was play soccer. I was the first grandchild in the family, and they spoiled me a lot. They were very strict with me, but the real world outside brought me to where I am now.
Many may tell you to “take it slow”, maybe “build up” with lighter titles beforehand, but me in your position, I’d just run Khan + Phoenix.
Whatever route you go it’ll suck either way in the beginning with your current baseline. Doesn’t matter, embrace it.
Start with microloops and build up if possible. Still too much recon? Take longer breaks between listening days.
Khan fucked me up good for a while until I started to figure out who the fuck I am beneath all that trauma and societal conditioning, but it’s totally worth it in the long run.
So what should I do? The other day, a girl looked me straight in the eye as if to say, “Come and fuck me.” But I just stood there staring at her, unable to approach her, not knowing what to say. She didn’t look at me again, thinking I was a coward, and looked at me mockingly. I’ve missed so many opportunities like this that I’m going crazy. All I want is to be happy, to be comfortable like other people, to be carefree, to talk freely about sex without fear, without worrying about what others might think.
Thank you for your reply. How many minutes and where should I start?
30, maybe 60 seconds, then take it from there
Thanks for your suggestions.
I’m now thinking Wanted for the physical shifting, self worth scripting and positive feedback. Maybe not as your main sub, but just to shift your self image until you change focus to other things?
I want to live now. I want to prove that I exist in this life.
So how can I talk to him about this? I have no experience. I’ve never dated a woman before. I’ve never had sex. People make fun of me just because of that. My heart breaks. There were times when I was on the verge of suicide, but I never lost hope, thinking that maybe my life would change.
you seem like you have a lot of fears and anxieties. Maybe something like lovebomb and stark could help you? I remember being quite shy myself and stark allowed me to be more at ease and talkative with people to a point where I was able to join a group.
Definitely not recommending khan. Thats too though for you right now. You dont need to be broken apart. You probably just need something to slowly ease you up and give you enough relaxation to be able to go and talk to people. Join a hobby club or something. Spark up small convos. See if you can… talk to others - men and women - and find a way to also enjoy yourself without feeling uneasy.
maybe start with stark and lovebomb… give it minimum 3 months and then you could add one more sub for seduction skills. Like wanted or primal. You deserve to have fun. Not all subs are fun and easy. Some bring a lot of challenge and pain to grow through like Khan… Dont touch those. Just my opinion.
first focus is the act of being able to socialize with ease and have fun
once you are able to do that, letting seduction slide into that should be far easier than if someone who is meek and shy would try to get girls… ease… is the keyword. When you can talk to people, you can take that further. Like stone put upon a stone. Socialization being the bottom foundation of seduction that is placed on top of that.
Not aiming this at you specifically, but it needs to be said:
Women aren’t the Bandaid for your insecurities
No matter how deep the trauma, if you’re looking to women to heal, you’re in for a world of emotional turmoil. Not to mention women pick up on it, you run the risk of attracting the wrong type of person to reflect all of your inner demons back to you. If there’s a deep wound from childhood, no woman (or any human outside of a therapist) can heal it.
I’m a fan of Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer, but that sub is harsh. If the trauma has created thoughts like “I shouldn’t talk to her” or “I’m not good enough”, DRLD could help. But don’t lean on women to solve it. Been there, done it, got the blood stained shirt.