My latest body development has been me taking a 1 day break from the gym and even shadow boxing to massage my body and sleep all day.
Today, I went out to the streets mid day in what felt like AN AWAKENING AND URGE FROM MY SUBCONSCIOUS and the creator.
I slept after my night shift at around 7, and awoke at 11 to the sound of a dorm mate eating loudly.
I got up and decided to go to the kitchen and eat but it was stronger than that urge, I FELT like walking outside to the world, like something awaits me.
There was a pride parade not 5 minutes out from my area, which is the heart of San Fran.
The amount of stares I got were insane, now keep in mind I sound like a broken record to my subliminal buddy who’s been hearing me say for a year the attention i get on wanted.
This should tell you something that I consistently for over a year keep saying it, it isn’t normalizing because the attention is getting more
ever since I ran legacy i’ve gotten the most intense levels of attention
people being lost while staring at me, mostly young females. I got my first ever jaw dropped open with audible sound upon looking at me, from a male of all people, college aged male.
being within this pride parade made me so grateful for everything im given, as it began to make sense
I came to San Francisco and I was in the heart of it, where I still am. This is the top homeless city in America, and i am in the top homeless area.
I understood on a lizard brain level WHY I am here, because my character is bigger than this world, and throwing me into anywhere that the regular blue pilled happy go lucky (on the surface)life would have been detrimental to my development
the fact that when i go out at night since i sleep all day due to night shift, I see long gone homeless people everywhere, shit on the streets, and this overall dread vibe that would suffer the regular man.
it excites me, it still does, i FEEL HONORED, that i was put here, that i had to open up eye to reality and keep it open, that I didnt fall for the bullshit of the American (niceness) that drains people eventually
that i was put into such a cold and dark place that gave me such solace and a sense of strength to keep my mind sharp and my eye sharp and to gain this UNREAL freedom, unreal in the intensity and degree of it, REAL in it’s nature, a TRUE freedom and independence, being able to look at homeless people and say “I can survive this easily” as i think of every time I stood up to people at work, when my heart was bursting with emotion, i still VALUED
above everything
my freedom, my independence, my face, my image, my strength. I was ready this whole time in AMERICA to be spit on, humiliated, stepped on, but to NEVER forfeit my freedom, independence, maneuverability, my standout personality and unique character
the fact i cannot care less what people think, i remember first running MTMX and thinking “man i would gain so much if i could randomly just throw a teep whenever i want to, or shadow box real quick” but a part of the old me was there, worried.
now, i cannot care less, I am fully sober where i dont drink or smoke or anything and i dance in the street, i shadowbox when i want to, I DO WHAT I WANT, sometimes i imagine myself slipping and falling on my face in the most humiliating fashion because i CANT CARE LESS, i want to train it into me because i am so free and happy, i love my life and i love the circumstances i was given that made me such a titan of a man thats literally alien god tier in power
I saw that today within the pride parade attention and freedom i felt, I was a god, I was unafraid, I had nothing to lose, I feel the truest form of power and I feel way bigger than this world, that only years ago tormented me on my shoulders
now
with all it’s desires, distractions, and monsters…
Is just my toy that I laugh at.