You know what? you are actually one of my favorite people on this site
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The fact is that we’ve all had, and are still having, our paths and our experiences along this process of healing, improvement, and growth.
And if anyone—anyone—has experienced benefit or has achieved progress and greater wellbeing along this way, I want to appreciate them and honor them, not belittle them or discount what they have accomplished.
In my view, how far a person has gotten is less important than the direction in which the person is headed.
If my only two options were to be ‘In hell, but walking towards heaven’ or ‘In heaven, but walking towards hell’; it’s tough to say it, but I think the first choice is best. At that point, it’s just a matter of time. But the destination is clear.
So being at the ‘top of the pile’ or the ‘head of the pack’ is impressive; but I don’t think it’s what matters most to me.
And the same goes for love. I have often found that the richest foundation for loving another is not what that person has achieved or what they possess; rather, in my experience at least, the deepest love comes from the fact that we love the same things. That we are inspired by some of the same things. We are looking towards the same sun. And that common inspiration energizes and harmonizes our paths.
I think that the best way to meet mates and partners is to invest deeply in doing and experiencing and being with what you love and what inspires you. Once you are on that path, look up and see who is walking next to you in a similar direction.
But that’s just my opinion.
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On the other hand an old Chinese saying goes:
“No matter how far wrong you’ve gone you can always turn around”.
Life is full of turnarounds. Round and round we go…
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amen to that.
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Now i can actually contribute something meaningful to this conversation and this mostly in response to the post @Furkan is talking about @Skadoosh previous posts .
Looks being important and cultivating your self are not mutually exclusive points . Now that I’ve listened to this new khan I’ve come to the realization that self improvement is pointless since it is fuelled by a lack of self love but self cultivation is the better way to be happy about your life and actually experience really good things . You are not adding anything to yourself you are simply unearthing your God given potential in as many domains as possible.
When you cultivate yourself you view it as an act of self love because you are pouring into yourself the same way a gardener would water his plants .
Also developing yourself from the perspective of self cultivation allows you to develop an attractive personality which does wonders with women.
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Great post, it’s a subtle mindset shift but very advanced.
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The thing is almost no men know what real masculinity is, Real masculinity is not being a bad boy, Real masculinity is not being ripped,
Real masculinity is being the witness, IF you can fully witness a woman without all judgements you are the SUN to her.
Emptiness is true masculinity. Like I met guys who look much more masculine than me, Try to act all alpha only to crumble in an instant and become a puppy when I’m completely unreactive.
My mentor even said you would have gotten into so many fights if your energy was not so extremely calm and it’s true.
I remember one time I was out I was dancing around wiht my scarf spinning it in the the air and accidently hit this huge american football dude.
He got all aggro about it it and put his hand on my throat I did not even flinch and put my hand on his. He got so scared his wife came up and said don’t be mean to my husband.
And he left. This guy could have beaten the crap out of me.
So IMO the most masculine sub here is actually the new Sanguine.
On dates girl just say you make me feel so safe, appreciated and seen. THAT IS THE GREATEST gift you can give a woman.
You think it’s hard to get into bed when she feels like that? No shes like a puppy.
Like there was this dude who was super sucessful and was around. He told the waitress we are all alphas here so you know. (That’s not masculinity that’s insecurity.
But all of this does not mean that not being ripped helps, Or looks don’t matter at all. Money helps sucess helps, Some girls want a rich guy to feel like a little princess there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s how she feel safe.
To the core everyone just want to feel loved appreciated and safe.
Like I was on a date with this girl who traveled then she traveled back, She texted me I miss you so much for months. And this was a girl that was stupid hot, A girl I could not even dream about getting before.
And you knew how this happened I was curious about her and not judging her while radiating metta to her.
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I disagree somewhat
A big part of masculinity to me is being able to bring order to chaos (Nature ) to create something meaningful for those around you .
To be truly masculine in my opinion is to embody strength in everything you do and to truly be strong you have to be willing to be weak or at least acknowledge your weaknesses . Because if you don’t truly acknowledge your weakness you won’t be able to see anything for what it is and remain in your boyhood until the day you die .
For along time I was obsessed with having a freakishly muscular body or being perceived as intimidating because I was naturally a goofy guy and I felt like I wasn’t getting enough respect because of it but now that I’m more mature I can recognize that was because I was weak and scared on the inside so my reality picked up on that.
I noticed that when I consciously decided to take on more responsibility in my life for my family and friends I felt myself mature more . And in the context of seduction women have always said I make them feel very comfortable and not judged .
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Yep and feminine energy is chaos so you are correct. The feminine is all creation mother nature. Women are the physical manfiestation of the feminine.
Men the physical manifestation of the masculine.
But in the core masculine energy is emptiness
Errol Flynn’s style, totally, yet it was decades ago and he WAS a bad boy.
Judgment, self-absorption, neediness, being serious, and stingy, and, especially, emotionally cold are the most proficient seduction killers.
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To me, to embody strength means being rational, empathetic and prosocial and the only real weakness is frail ego. Being a man is cultivating those three aforementioned qualities and keeping that ego’s frailty in check, possibly getting rid of it by accepting our vulnerabilities.
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Lol I disagree with that. I think it’s just random lmao.
There’s also girls who refuse to date anything that is unfamiliar.
Maybe demographics play a role, but as a black man in the Canadian equivalent of the “Midwest”, everyone goes for the white hockey player, felt like a second class citizen here lmao, then went to the more liberal west and treated like a celebrity cause I was different.
Some things can factor in your advantage or disadvantage of course, but at the end of the day… Shit is like a video game lmao, sometimes your the Meta and sometimes you just an avg build
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Reading this thread is very interesting.
A couple of months back I would have agreed with some and disagreed with others.
Now when I look at the posts, I agree and disagree. Agree that it works for them and disagree since what works for them might not work for others.
So does something work because what one does makes one themselves? Why does one have to change to become oneself? What the heck is going on here?
A journey. A journey is what is happening.
An unfolding. As you unwrap and unravel and reveal yourself, you find out what works for you because that IS you.
So find who you are. And then the women find you.
Because now it is truly you.
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"the more you try to be certain about something, the more uncertain and insecure you will feel "
“Before we can look at our values and prioritizations and change them into better, healthier ones, we must first become uncertain of our current values. We must intellectually strip them away, see their faults and biases, see how they don’t fit in with much of the rest of the world, to stare our own ignorance in the face and concede, because our own ignorance is greater than us all” - Mark Manson
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Same here. The world is so diverse. Being able to see it more from the birds perspective feels good. Either way as long as we keep on going, we will eventually reach our desired destination one way or the other. (if we stay alive for that long hehe)
different paths yet so many are so full of women waiting - hoping for someone to come. Hoping for all kinds of archetypes and overall personalities. Ready to be your “other half” : )) People are diverse and they can be really great at balancing each other - making a good team together in all kinds of dynamics.The ocean is huge and fish plenty. Have faith and enjoy life.
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