She is, how does it relate to self love? Which I think I lack but not sure
Thanks a lot 
Another way to put it is this - if you have a healthy self esteem, you would naturally consider your needs first, rather than putting yourself aside habitually for others approval. You would treat yourself with kindness, regard and care and expect other people dealing with you to do the same. This creates boundaries (a limit to being maltreated).
If someone regularly treats you in a way that isn’t kind (because of your self love), it becomes a personality mismatch. That is when boundaries gets deployed - you value you, but they don’t.
Your ex girlfriend did not value you, because you didn’t value yourself, that became an emotional match. Once you developed self love, the match broke and she looked for someone else who matched.
I go through this forum looking for detailed self love posts (by @ksub and @skadoosh), whilst thinking in the back of my mind that self love was self indulgent, narcissistic, airy fairy crap. Until I realised that I had zero self esteem - and it showed
- Women friendzoned me multiple times
- Enduring a toxic relationship
- Highly critical and physically abusive childhood
- Low grades at school, menial jobs
- Bullied and pushed around by female work colleagues
The universe gives us more of who we are (subconsciously).
Your relationship with that girl would have ended pretty quick if you had (subconscious)self worth. In fact, she wouldn’t have been on your radar at all. But it is what it is. Learn from the breakup and vow never to attract that kind of person again.
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@RagnarLothbrok : You broke up with that girl a while ago. The fact that it is even still a conversation tells me that you need to do some internal work.
TOUGH LOVE INCOMING:
The relationship only lasted two months. Soon you’re going to be talking about it longer than it actually lasted.
Thousands of breakups happen everyday everywhere. Millions of dudes get cheated on. There is nothing special there. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. The relationship came to an end, learn what you can from it and move on to the next beautiful girl, if that’s what you choose. Or go do something constructive. You only have one life. It was a 2-month relationship. It’s not like it was a 20-year marriage that came to a screeching halt. I know it can hurt, but come on dude, man up and move on.
Run Love Bomb and Godlike Masculinity for a few months.
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Sign up for a 10 day Vipassana at an SN goenka center if u can and have no work rn to stop you.
Depends on ur area.
Stat the course with what ur doing toxic attachments take time to heal. Don’t rush it. Just don’t go back.
Simple answer - forgive her.
But people mess up about what forgiveness is. Remember forgiveness is not about excusing the pain, it is about I am not this pain and so I can let go of this through forgiveness. It is the true resilience of the soul. Hence, so many spiritual cultures advocate forgiveness as a quality.
Also if you are stuck in a toxic cycle - it probably revealed something about you - some toxic trait, some toxic belief etc., forgive that part of yourself as well.
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Self-love is just treating yourself the way you’d treat someone you love, lol.
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All from my experience and no intolerance on this opinion.
If you are a normal person a very light title such as sanguine is going to heal you aand you won’t ever feel this level of attachment to anyone. Let’s put Khan, KBC and other resilience titles aside.
If you are a neurodivergent like me, which from my observing you and @Fractal_Explorer are, then your level of growth will be MINISCULE depending on the compatibility of the sub with your archetype.
I l’ve ran Khan, WB, KBC, GLM:TC…etc. All with very very very little growth, just due to my stubbornness caaused by my very amount of dopamine. Extreme panick attacks because of low serotonin ans extreme distractibility caused by low norepinephrine.
Dominance titles which were resilience based gave me negative results, since the script was responded to by my extremely perfectionist, anxious, unfocused, unmotivated, low self esteem mind and the realizations were just…weird, you don’t wanna be there my man. Wanted line gave me great result but my brain would just snap back at me due to my low serotonin(my personal opinion) to accept my flaws. What a weird position to be in, not enough drive and focus to be an Alpha and not enough self love to be chilled with Wanted line, so I would compulsively listen to an alpha title with wanted line, but there was still recon and physical altercations as I remember, all due to my inability to have self confidence and self esteem on a biological level, this has turned into a journal but I hope it’s helpful to you.
So I listened to QL and all of a sudden the world was bright and I was like DAMN! my growth started and I started as soon as I though now I can hadle it. That was a big risk, 4 months effectively on Khan and there was growth, I was in the antisocial which I had to pass in my 14s but due to my low brain chemistry maybe I would’ve done it at my 40s, so I was in that phase which E:E got released. I was still reluctant to run it which right now that I’ve been on E:E around a cycle and half, signifies the fact that QL’s neurochemistry script is far more inferior than that of E:E, along with other obvious and fats results I got from E:E’s brain chemistry scripting. But QL helped a lot, I was incorporating actual change in my life for the first time, but I had to run a full loop of it at least every 3 days and a 5 minutes loop at peast every 2 days.
I finally jumped to E:E and my got the trauler effects was literally like Aderall. But after the 2nd, 3rd…the productivity effects were dropped and building up slowly in a more synergistic way with Khan. I reached to a point with Khan that I was like meh, I’m getting everything I want from this sub, except the romance department since I was yet to come to the realization of that I should marry or have a monogamous relationship (due to social circumstances of a Khan in this commmunity), I just listened to WB two weeks ago and honestly it’s a smooth ride.
But the difference of results is like a million times more different without E:E or QL. On QL I tried WB, but I just couldn’t come to terms with accepting myself, on E:E it was BUTTER.
My only issue with this is that physical shifting scripting is mixed with other productivity scripting and the first time I took a washout the chemical balance lasted 5 days, but last time it was reduced to 2 and half days, I had to do 30 seconds microloop every 4 hours to take a hit. This also heppened with 5 and 7 minute loop and last night I came and slept and woke much sooner and without enough sleep and I was compulsivity twiching and moving and I was frustrated that why the hell the effects wear off faster and faster. I listened to a full loop of E:E and Paragon sleep and patagon sleep activated the executive’s scripting and I was nearly crying and got the most intense suicidal I thoughts I had, just because why am I broken? What is wrong with me? Why the hell can’t I live just like a normal person, I would’ve given one leg of mine but would fix my brain chemistry it is so frustrating. First I listened to E:E it was like the world was given to me, until the chemical effects wore off.
And guess what, I though I was normal until I experienced QL and then E:E.
So I suggest you run E:E and observe your mood. I have been following your post for a while now, that is why I think you have chemistry issues, I don’t think nearly close as mine though, since you could maintain a 1 and half year relationship, while changing stacks.
The level of change I had with E:E in my stack for the past two months gas been more than the change I had my whole life. I ACTUALLY get inspired by new ideas in response to subliminals. Meaning I break Plateaus with subliminals now and reach new heights of success with them.
Just one thing I forgot to add:
It’s really abnormal to have a large amount of recon or any while listening to 30 seconds. The 15 minute loops of ZPv1 which is much more older than this tech was tested with multiple tester and two loops every other day was recommended. This is not an invitation for overexposure, but rather addressing the brain chemistry issue with E:E or medications, preferably the former one.
There was a time I had SSRI, wellbutrin, Propranolol and one other antidepressant which covered all the major neurotransmitters for 6 months. But it was nothing like E:Eor even QL maybe. I was tired, sleepy, prone to overwighting and very very lazy.
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Just notice the amount of typing mistakes I had due to my overexposure of E:E 
, but if there is not enough exposure and the chemistry drops, I would be an angry and frightened zombie
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Just to provide a different perspective. I’m neurodivergent too, and I’ve been using the subs since 2020, starting with Emperor. Currently on Hero (although doing washout) and KB.
I don’t think the subs are the answer, at least in terms of a one size fits all solution. Let’s start by looking at the definition of the term: it ostensibly means “individuals whose brains function differently from the majority, resulting in variations in thought processes, behaviors, and learning styles”. Yet as time has gone on, there are a growing number of individuals who are considered as one of the neurodivergent types, to the point where its no longer just about being “different to the norm” in terms of functioning, because, what is defined as “normal” anymore?
There are a wide variety of different types of neurodivergence, including different types of autism, adhd, aspergers and so on. Not all of them will respond to the same stimulus. You’re describing in great detail a particular neurotransmitter balance or imbalance, along with a psychological response to that particular brain chemistry interacting with the effects of the different subs, used in a not-recommended way (“30 seconds microloop every 4 hours to take a hit”). Your situation that you’ve described seems to be a unique combination of the neurodivergence and your own psychological reaction to feeling “broken”, which is a flawed way of looking at neurodivergence.
Remember, Saint has always emphasized that if there is any deep level of mental or psychological trauma/illness, don’t run the subs without consulting with the relevant professionals. Suicidal ideations or physical symptoms that can’t be otherwise explained while running the subs are a sign that you should stop and seek the proper support. I don’t want to give people coming to read this later on the wrong impression that subliminal X is going to solve all your brain chemistry issues or magically dissolve the effects of years of trauma or thinking in specific ways.
I can only speak to my experience of my own neurodiversity to give suggestions, and I’ll probably do that in a separate post. But I think it would be a mistake to ascribe to everybody the same specific brain chemistry you experienced which QL and E:E helped with, or more to the point that OPs problems are on that same level of being. Being neurodivergent and its consequences for how we act in the world isn’t just a matter of different brain chemistry, or even different brain areas / pathways being activated. It’s a wholistic thing that involves learned patterns, sometimes physical damage to brain areas (and sometimes not), social upbringing, the nervous system’s sensitivity and the physical body’s levels of pain, etc. Lots of things contribute to this “different to the norm” functioning and that’s why every autistic or neurodivergent person is unique and has their own gifts (and challenges) derived from their special way of interacting with the world.
And by the way I’m not downplaying your post here, I think it’s helpful to see how you’ve interacted with the subs and what’s worked for you, so kudos for sharing.
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Thanks for sharing your opinion,
Just to clarify and maybe I should,
The suicidal thoughts were a one time thing and sometimes it can be very common for even neurotypicals who run a title and experience recon, it was that E:E recon which got activated by running Paragon sleep right after it and I just felt asleep while feeling just ending my life, just because “I’m broken”. Do I feel that I’m broken and disagree with you on neurodivergent people being necessarily gifted? Yes I do. At this point in time, there i still a “normal” and that’s the way which neurotypicals work and transact on earth, why is it normal, because they are the majority. It’s most likely that you have more mating potentials as a neurotypical than a neurodivergent, cuz there are simply more options, especially having something like wanted black in your arsenal.
Another thing is the actual experience of life, the whole point of meditation is releasing better neurotransmitters. I would trade my ADHD gifts (not that I know any of) with being neurotypical any day of the week. A neurotypical can definitely have better hyperfocus than an ADHD diagnosed patient. Imagine being a transgender, you have the male body but don’t have that masculine oomph and you have the female charm but without the beauty. No disrespect to them, but it’s just that we are not the majority, so we are not “normal”.
Got off the topic a little bit, the actual experience of life, I as a neurodivergent am simply and just more miserable, unhappy and negative than a normal person. So my experience of life is just ruined, I don’t even have the motivation to do a 5 minutes meditation every day. And I’m just here, born without any choice and living in this world where I am inferior to others, it’s devastating. I was extremely happy on the first days of E:E but then the physical shifting effect started to wear off and now I’m frustrated.
As I explained, I still don’t overexpose, and I did not say I have been microlooping every 4 hours until now. It was the 2nd rest day which the chemistry crash happened and it’s just simply impossible not listen to E:E or take a drug when that happens, cuz you just know this better state.
I have never exceeded the recommendations, it’s just that I want more rest days than 2. There was a time where I could get 3 days of chemistry baoanve with a 5 minutes loop and I was perfectly ok with it, until it started to reduce. The though reaching the point of having to listen multiple loops per day scares me, which will never get there I will definitely get on medications, I don’t care if they release a title solely for this. If I have to get medicated and deal with the side effects and limited knowledge of human beings then be it.
I completely agree that other might not have the same issue and responses to E:E like me, the whole brain chemistry and mood improvements thing, but that is my experience and I advise them based on that, they are just going to waste 15 minutes and max 5 days of subliminal rest if I am wrong, but worth the experiment.
Another thing which annoys me is that these subs work amazing for normal people, but for us not so much, I mean E:E has been great, my social life has been great, compliment pouring in about how healthy and normal I look, today someone who was very pissed at me because of my behaviors a year ago on Khan and before I discovered the necessity for QL, and then E:E which was a massive game changer, told me that how meurotypical and great I have become, people including my father and other also. I mean they were impressed when I was on Khan for the past few months on Khan since two weeks ago, but the Kha dynamics work in a way which you don’t get many compliments, so when the WB dynamic kicked in, the compliments started pouring in, never happened excelt for Emperor: the will to power since it was like actively teaching me laws of power and social behavior on some level rather than letting me figuring it out completely by introspection, but I would compulsively listen to an alpha title just to get that dominance hit and it would be a shit show.
And I do agree with this not being JUST genetic but also environmental, but genetics is definitely the more dominant and deciding factor. A kid with good brain chemistry will have better immune system, physique, growth, social realtions from childhood which will help with his nutrition and circumstances, aura, good metabolism out of even very poor diet than a rich neurodivergent like me. Even two kids in the same household will have different circumstances, imagine someone like Genghis khan with that level of negative experiences turning into a great king and conquerer by merit, that was definitely his brain chemistry and neural resilience, his negative experiences did not have as devastating effect as they would have on a normal person and he also changed his perception on them to fuel his growth, what controls perceptio? Neurochemicals. Neurodivergent is a created name by men and I used it to sound clear, I’m not special, I’m broke and I will fix myself one way or the other.
You missed the part where I said that I am also neurodivergent. Do you feel pushed to classify me as “neurotypical” so my perspective holds less weight? I haven’t even responded to OP yet, but you “missed” the very first sentence that I said.
What was that again?
I kinda find the use of an entire gender as a way of dismissing the word as kind of offensive to me as a male neurodivergent. This has nothing to do with “men” creating a word to give some kind of connotation, please don’t perpetuate those types of stereotypes.
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@emperor_obewan
If my zero point is not capable of shifting my brain chemistry and healing my ADHD, why am I getting these great results with E:E besides the tiredness due to other executive functioning scripts and why was the first few days of this sub phenomenal for me? Sleep, discipline, focus impulse control and basically everything was phenomenal, but now I’m just constantly in the processing mode of them due to chasing that chemistry balance so that my life doesn’tgo downhill. It’s still phenomenal, but I’m just tired.
I’m really afraid of getting on medication due to it’s possible side effects and dependency, it’s just something unorganic and from outside which one puts in their body.
By the way, are you on medications?
One other thing is that even before fixing my chemistry with QL or E:E, I was still realizing my potential with the subliminals, so they worked for me, but it was just that my potential was very very low at that time, so my subconscious mind would take that into account and generate beliefs about it, which were different than a neurotypical’s mind. I would’ve had great social standing and status netween people like myself when I was on Khan, and I manifested that to a point which I changed my social circle, and then after around a year on Khan the realization happened, the realization which would’ve been a given default if my brain chemistry was balanced, no need get away from the people or take that much action just for that realization, very slow growth with an ADHD brain.
By “men” I meant human beings with different bias and beliefs which created those labels. I don’t see myself as different but dysfunctional.
And by “you” as a neurotypical I actually meant “someone” as a neurotypical, apology for the mistake, it’s used like that in my first language.
So I guess you agree with my other points since you did not mention them.
I’m glad you’re getting good results with E:E and the other subs you tried. My point was that this word neurodivergent covers a wide spectrum of different “conditions” or ways of thinking which different from the norm.
You’ve said:
And this is your own perspective on your own situation. You are of course welcome to think whatever you want, but let’s be clear: the term “neurodivergent” does not mean “broken”. An autistic person is not “broken”. A speech impaired individual who has developed telepathic capabilities as a result of their condition is not “broken”. “Broken” is a value judgement, and comes from a problem focused mindset.
I should make it clear: I live with two other neurodivergent people. One with Aspergers, the other whose classification I’m not sure of. One is a singer/songwriter in their spare time and a great Elvis impersonator. The other has managed people on building / traffic sites and is an excellent chef. As for me (mainly an Aspy but on the spectrum in other areas too), in the past I’ve written an accounting system in 50,000 lines of Perl code, learned Rust and multiple complicated API’s within 9 months to write a virtual reality app, I once assisted my manager and the work force management team of a call center to provide them with real time statistics and KPI information that previously took humans many man hours to create by hand. I’m now creating a synthesis of multiple spiritual and science based systems into one for purposes of advancing human potential, starting with my own. All three of us live with a relatively “normal” individual who probably also has tendencies on the spectrum (but I don’t know enough about them to judge), and it is one of the best households I have lived in since returning to my home country over a decade ago. Again, neurodiverse does not mean broken. It just means a different way of interacting with the world, different ways of thought, pattern matching, that kind of thing. Some “normals” have a harder time dealing with life than neurodivergents. The sense of feeling broken is independent of what characterises this divergence; its a reaction to circumstances and not the circumstances themselves.
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From what you’ve said before, you already have a good plan for detoxing from this. Having goals set in the future you can work towards is a good start.
Remember, you’re not dealing with just one trauma, but three of them: being fired, being injured (so that you can’t participate in your martial arts discipline), and breaking up with her. Having all three of them in play makes it all the more important to take some action, any action which is not a reaction to the situations, in order to shift the focus away from problem focused thinking to a solution oriented mindset. Remember the quote often attributed to Einstein, “we cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it”.
You’re already smart enough to realize that Tiktok brain is a thing, so don’t be a sado-masochist and torture yourself with that.
Since @Titiba mentioned neurodiversity, I think there are at least a few take-homes which can come from comparison with that. Part of the experience I had with the original Emperor when I started it in 2020 was that it started with a sense of anger at the people around me which eventually transformed after several loops and time into a specific type of consciousness, one of resilience - having the strength of mind and body to push through pain, stress and tiredness in search of the future goals.
One thing I’d found as an older neurodivergent is that the high intellectual levels reached by having such a rich inner / mental life seem to have developed as a coping mechanism or adjustment to external for physical body factors. This led to certain strengths, like being able to have keen insight into what’s happening in social situations while still often remaining an outsider, or developing intricate knowledge of things like computers when I was young through my ability to hyper focus on one thing. But when it came to moving outside the well travelled or safe pathways, it took a lot more energy and persistence to persist in the face of societal reactions.
Emperor at the time gave me that sense of “IDGAF”, blaze my own path, set the middle finger to those who would put you down.
Sub wise, if I understand it, you’re already running HeO for the resilience and the sped-up healing. I don’t know whether maybe something a little stronger might give you the kick of energy/motivation to push through the addiction to the existing traumatic state. Maybe KB ST1 would help, or just one of the majors with more of a masculine kick to it. HeO is great for persistence and willpower, but without the ability to focus on your craft the effects are going to be more subtle than something like Emperor or Khan or GLMC. On top of that, I know you’re running the stuff mentioned in a custom format, which complicates things.
What is ultimately going to help to break the state is something that can provide the impetus to break the rhythm or pattern you’ve fallen into. This is where exercise, deep breathing, walking, music and so on can help. And I’m not talking about sappy love songs, but something with a good beat or energy to it. Trauma like what you’re talking about has a flat quality to it, sadness affects the lungs, so find something that’s going to open up and clear them so healing can come.
Its easiest to look at it from an energetic perspective rather than trying to “solve” the funk with overthinking. Often just observing the state without judging it will be enough to help to start the shift. It’s when you start criticizing yourself and making yourself feel worse that things spiral.
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Please take care of yourself, there are varieties of girls who would absolutely be lucky to have you, keep moving my friend, the perfect girl is right around the corner…
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A kind person is kind because how they respect your peace. How do you respect peace? You get out of somebodys way if you see that you are blocking them. Many people will get in your way emotionally, through sheer ignorance and immaturity they will not see that even if they do not value you, you yourself do value you. That means suffocation is a real emotional danger, and through pressure or through exposure, you must learn how to give yourself space. One empowering inspiration that came to me was realizing that I had to take noncommunication as a form of communication. I had to learn how to say “Wow, they really did put this responsibility on me, didnt they?” That allowed me to get that space from the overwhelming suffocation.
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I’m currently not running anything I’m doing a long washout of 12+ days and I want to decide on a stack.
I will either do AoW + EoG or Hero: The Light that Blinds.
I will only decide after the release of Hero and when I finish my washout.
well that explains things 