Thanks for sharing your opinion,
Just to clarify and maybe I should,
The suicidal thoughts were a one time thing and sometimes it can be very common for even neurotypicals who run a title and experience recon, it was that E:E recon which got activated by running Paragon sleep right after it and I just felt asleep while feeling just ending my life, just because “I’m broken”. Do I feel that I’m broken and disagree with you on neurodivergent people being necessarily gifted? Yes I do. At this point in time, there i still a “normal” and that’s the way which neurotypicals work and transact on earth, why is it normal, because they are the majority. It’s most likely that you have more mating potentials as a neurotypical than a neurodivergent, cuz there are simply more options, especially having something like wanted black in your arsenal.
Another thing is the actual experience of life, the whole point of meditation is releasing better neurotransmitters. I would trade my ADHD gifts (not that I know any of) with being neurotypical any day of the week. A neurotypical can definitely have better hyperfocus than an ADHD diagnosed patient. Imagine being a transgender, you have the male body but don’t have that masculine oomph and you have the female charm but without the beauty. No disrespect to them, but it’s just that we are not the majority, so we are not “normal”.
Got off the topic a little bit, the actual experience of life, I as a neurodivergent am simply and just more miserable, unhappy and negative than a normal person. So my experience of life is just ruined, I don’t even have the motivation to do a 5 minutes meditation every day. And I’m just here, born without any choice and living in this world where I am inferior to others, it’s devastating. I was extremely happy on the first days of E:E but then the physical shifting effect started to wear off and now I’m frustrated.
As I explained, I still don’t overexpose, and I did not say I have been microlooping every 4 hours until now. It was the 2nd rest day which the chemistry crash happened and it’s just simply impossible not listen to E:E or take a drug when that happens, cuz you just know this better state.
I have never exceeded the recommendations, it’s just that I want more rest days than 2. There was a time where I could get 3 days of chemistry baoanve with a 5 minutes loop and I was perfectly ok with it, until it started to reduce. The though reaching the point of having to listen multiple loops per day scares me, which will never get there I will definitely get on medications, I don’t care if they release a title solely for this. If I have to get medicated and deal with the side effects and limited knowledge of human beings then be it.
I completely agree that other might not have the same issue and responses to E:E like me, the whole brain chemistry and mood improvements thing, but that is my experience and I advise them based on that, they are just going to waste 15 minutes and max 5 days of subliminal rest if I am wrong, but worth the experiment.
Another thing which annoys me is that these subs work amazing for normal people, but for us not so much, I mean E:E has been great, my social life has been great, compliment pouring in about how healthy and normal I look, today someone who was very pissed at me because of my behaviors a year ago on Khan and before I discovered the necessity for QL, and then E:E which was a massive game changer, told me that how meurotypical and great I have become, people including my father and other also. I mean they were impressed when I was on Khan for the past few months on Khan since two weeks ago, but the Kha dynamics work in a way which you don’t get many compliments, so when the WB dynamic kicked in, the compliments started pouring in, never happened excelt for Emperor: the will to power since it was like actively teaching me laws of power and social behavior on some level rather than letting me figuring it out completely by introspection, but I would compulsively listen to an alpha title just to get that dominance hit and it would be a shit show.
And I do agree with this not being JUST genetic but also environmental, but genetics is definitely the more dominant and deciding factor. A kid with good brain chemistry will have better immune system, physique, growth, social realtions from childhood which will help with his nutrition and circumstances, aura, good metabolism out of even very poor diet than a rich neurodivergent like me. Even two kids in the same household will have different circumstances, imagine someone like Genghis khan with that level of negative experiences turning into a great king and conquerer by merit, that was definitely his brain chemistry and neural resilience, his negative experiences did not have as devastating effect as they would have on a normal person and he also changed his perception on them to fuel his growth, what controls perceptio? Neurochemicals. Neurodivergent is a created name by men and I used it to sound clear, I’m not special, I’m broke and I will fix myself one way or the other.