How do YOU deal with the haters?


#1

How do you handle all the haters that come your way as a result of your rise in status?

In addition, how do you determine what’s worth getting angry over and what’s not, especially as you deal with reconciliation?

I’ve become aware of some blockages I have to confrontation when I can’t be left alone, namely in social situations with people who I have to see on a regular basis.

I want to learn how to handle them tactfully, and would appreciate it if you could lend your thoughts and guiding principles on this matter.

I’m open to book recommendations, but I too often see people throwing out book recommendations with little personal experience behind it.

It would be great to hear more personal experiences, or how you overcame this in your own life, etc.


#2

Frame Control Bro


#3

What you have to realize is no matter where you are in life you will always have haters, people will always hate on you whether you do good or bad.


#4

I’m not asking for advice in that aspect. I’m taking care of these situations myself, but I’m seeing an opportunity to both handle the situation, and further my position in whatever environment I’m in.

I can handle the situation, but in environments like a workplace, I not only want to handle the situation, I want to get people on my side as well, because that’s how I move up the ladder.

I’ve played lone wolf for a very long time, and I’m becoming aware of the power of social wealth, so I want advice catered to that.


#5

What subs are your running?
What I noticed is that after my sub kicked in i treat haters differently…yes they are there but I ignore and infact haters make me do better…the subs make it easy to ignore them…and very easy to face them…


#6

StarkQ, Regeneration, Ultimate Artist in a custom, StarkQ-T on the side right now. Power Can Corrupt may be getting a run as well.

I’ll continue my research and post what I find after I’ve come to my conclusions.


#7

That’s a lot of subliminal input :slight_smile:


#8

hmmm…I’m not currently dealing with much open hate. Every so often, I may run afoul of gossip or of someone who seems threatened.

I guess the strategy you use needs to be based on your own strengths and temperament. You know what I mean? That’s my opinion, anyway.

I navigate a lot of situations by means of empathy. It DOES NOT always work out how I’d like. But it’s my temperament, so I practice using it.

Sometimes with things that would probably be conventionally labeled as hate, I see insecurity or a sense of that person’s position or access being threatened. I guess what I’m saying is I tend to approach people’s decisions and actions primarily in terms of how they are related to that person’s experience or point of view, more so than how they are impacting me.

I think I can recommend one book. But it’s not a cure-all or anything. It is a rational perspective for approaching self-interest, other-interest, and collective-interest. Marshall Rosenberg’s Non-Violent Communication. It’s like enlightened Social Gong Fu. Like any gong fu, how well it works will depend on your skill, talent, luck, and the prevailing condiitons.

Non-Violent%20Communication

Here’s an inspiring story. (Can’t remember if I posted this on here before.)

It predates Non-Violent Communication but nevertheless embodies the same principles.

Text version
http://easternhealingarts.com/Articles/softanswer.html

Video version

Hmm…

I think you’ve also got to build up your (healthy) walls and defenses strong. I’ve got a lot more work to do with this. But I think it largely involves what you feed your mind and attention with every day. Messages, interactions, practices that affirm who you are and that provide you with healing and integrity. When someone comes at you with nasty energy, you want it to feel weird, like unexpected. Not in the sense that you’re unprepared for it. You want to be extremely well-prepared for it. But almost like you’re looking at a crazy person (because you are). This is because you want to protect the sanctity of your inner circle from the fucked-up condition of that person.

I guess another way of saying this is that I want to be prepared for dealing with snakes and wild dogs. I don’t need to hate them. Just to neutralize them or avoid them. If a person comes at me with the same behavior as that of a snake or a wild dog, I similarly want to be able to neutralize or avoid them. But psychologically, I want to have a clear sense of the wrongness of that behavior coming from a person. That visceral sense of wrongness protects me from infection.

I always say to people, if you step in shit. Don’t get so mad that you start punching the shit and rubbing it all over yourself. Get to water as soon as possible, and wash it off. The point is for it not to be on you.

If you have no choice, then you have no choice. But the end-game should always be your own THRIVING over vengeful engagement.

Well, that’s my personal take.


#9

p.s. but sometimes I just hide out.


#10

You simply don’t, the opposition can only win if you’re fighting. Whenever you react to a projection of someone else you’re giving them your energy where by they can take control over you, if you don’t give in they can’t do nothing.

This is the only technique you need, learn to take control over your energies. Use body language if necessary, pull out flat hands and put them in front of you, raise your voice above the other person when you pull out hands and take over the conversation. These techniques take energy, so make sure you’re not going into a social event when you’re energetically fatigued.


#11

It depends on how they manifests itself. Are they doing things that might actually harm you or cause you a real problem reaching your goals? Are they being direct or indirect about it?
If it’s no real threat, the best thing to do is rise above it, but I don’t mean that in a fluffy new age kind of way. If you genuinely believe that you are above these people, then it’s easy to ignore. Hell, it becomes kind of funny that that those little pissants think they can bring you down. You really have to believe it though. The subs will help you see yourself that way with time.


#12

Don’t? When you become the tide, the flow, things and people will either resonate, or be left behind in your wake.

You only have so much time and energy. Focus on your strengths and strong connections.

If they’re in your immediate reporting chain, or can influence your career you can consider making nice. Otherwise just get everyone else in those decision rooms on your side.


#13

“I ain’t never seen a hater doing better than me.”

Generally, I just call them out on it. I’m always getting some kind of pleb attempting to diss me for being an overall badass, and I’ll ask them what exactly it is that they have that I don’t. If I were to take their “advice” and not be “as aggressive,” for example, and become timid and weak like them, what exactly would I gain?

From where I stand, I generally make more money than most haters, have more respect from my peers, better looking girlfriend, etc.

Spend your time building a better life to the point that when the haters try, you’re immune to their BS by virtue of existence.


#14

Speak softly, but carry a big stick

When a work colleague superior says you’ve become fat and then gropes your belly, that’s a hater.

How did I deal with it? - Power Can Corrupt

Reacting out of pocket wasn’t advisable, so having awareness of social dynamics and manipulation helped a lot. Learning The 48 Laws via PCC is killer information. It’s like social Jujitsu.

Whether they’re jealous, projecting and threatened by your light, ultimately it’s their problem to fix, not yours.


#15

@Michel is correct. I have begun running PCC alongside Beyond Limitless Ultima and I am definitely seeing huge gaping holes in the way people think and how incredibly flawed their logic or lack thereof is


#16

There’s only one Law that you need, and that is knowing where to focus your energy whereby you become unaffected from others.

You see the other person feeds from your reaction – Stop the feeding, stop the control, it’s really that simple. Surely you’ll need to practice awareness and that’s not always convenient as that is the reason you’re put in such a position in the first place, so instead try some reverse psychology; give the other person correct on whatever he or she is throwing at ya, it’ll always offset there frame, they won’t expect it and they will think it doesn’t affect you anymore even thought it does. (for those that are unable to block of energies from incompetent, egoistic and narcissistic souls that attack them).

Need anything else? Let me know, I’m a master a this.


#17

That was the advice I needed, thank you everyone for your detailed replies and I will make sure to apply what I’ve learned here.


#18

Guess it depends on your personnality, usually I try to avoid confrontation.

Always depends on how it is said and the situation, if you can feel contempt you could just look at them with the “you are really saying that look, wait a couple of seconds while maintaining eye contact”, “really?”, they will probably back off at wich point you could say you are messing with them while “if you want to push”, invading a little bit their personnal space with a big smile so they feel what is happening. But a superior haha, tougher to deal with, I’ll probably look at them like “wtf, that’s not part of the job” and frame it as something inapropriate.
Ice cream gainzzz :icecream::rofl:, which actually happened to me last year, but if they push after that they are just mean af, lower tone of voice direct and strong dominant eye contact.

Usually I don’t really see haters, can’t remember when is the last time I dealt with haters, but brushing off with something that clearly scream “I don’t give a shit”… There was a 2 for 1 deal on ice cream… Oops :wink:, or just calling them out if they are doing something wierd, touching my belly for me is a little bit wierd, so I’d call them out because I’d feel it in my body “don’t touche me there, I don’t like it”


#19

@ALoveSupreme You could also start randomly crying yourself to sleep at night. Works for me. Sarcasm heavily implied


#20

I shake it off, I shake it off.
If you understood the reference, well done.