Hello,
Randomly found this place last night while googling hyperphantasia it must have stuck in my mind because I was thinking maybe I’ll join and post when I woke up this morning 
Took me an hour to pluck up the courage to do this though but it seems like overall a very friendly place so I am.
Long post because lots of background hope that’s ok.
I’m female, have epilepsy in the form of absence and complex partial seizures have never taken medication any form of drugs don’t agree with me I supplement with magnesium chloride powder in my drink and works well at relieving them.
I’m 40 this year which is freaking the F of of me for some reason. I don’t have kids or a partner I’m happy with that love my own company or just being surrounded by my pets, I love being the cool auntie 
.
I don’t much of an income but I have food and a warm home so I’m grateful.
The last decade had some of the worse times in my life and have dealt with PTSD for a few years of that, and a 6 month period where there was a lot of death around me to a point where after 2 months of loss my brain then just shut off my feelings so when it happened again I was just numb to it.
Eventually felt strong enough to feel it and worked through that. Listened to a couple of audible books called it’s not your money and letting go and realised that I had always had a very strong need to control the way life goes (but the majority of the time life went the opposite way) learned to surrender it a higher power (I don’t believe in God but I am very spiritual) and for the past 5 months life as felt easier.
I’ve always wanted to have my own business I have an endless list of ideas my brain runs a million miles a minute sometimes it seems because I can visualise everything so clearly as thou its already a memory.
Friends and family and strangers have told me over the years about something I’ve created you should sell these or I don’t know why you’re not a millionaire or if I had half your skills or imagination I’d make a fortune.
That’s where I fall down and why i feel like now maybe only subliminals will help.
I do have great ideas and like an unlimited imagination for new ideas and I will create a prototype friends and family will love it people in social media groups I’m in will love it I might even sell a few but then I panic and shut the whole thing down 
I can feel the panic now recalling the memory that who am I too be successful and earn money doing something I love other people don’t have that luxury etc etc
It’s like I just put a block on it and move onto trying again with something new same thing happens.
The latest thing thou I really want to do haven’t released it haven’t even finished it because I’m not able to finish it’s like I’ve given up I can’t seem to push through anymore to even work on it I really want too and it’s driving me mad that this time my procrastination is so strong it’s like I am blocking myself from even trying now 
I’m not consciously thinking it though I think everyday today is the day I’ll start and then I’ll find other things to do.
I am actually busy for 10 hours a day but that still leaves me another 6 I would love to use.
So willing to try whatever is recommended budget is below 50 dollars though.
Thanks for reading 
