I’m new to this forum and excited to be here. I recently purchased Emperor and am currently listening to it. I saved up for weeks to get this sub and can’t wait to see the results. Additionally, I’ve incorporated LBFH into my routine and am also listening to Ascension Chamber once a week as they are both available for free.
Now that I’ve introduced myself, I would like to inform you of the reasons why I’m listening to the subs and perhaps also ask for some advice? I would like to give you all a brutally honest introduction to who I really am. Since if I don’t admit these faults of mine then I won’t change right? What better way to do it in this forum where anonymity is guaranteed.
I’m a 20yrs old currently taking a Mechatronics Engineering Degree on a state university on our country. I’m from Asia btw. I’m quite enjoying the course itself, but I often found myself procrastinating and just wasting a day not even studying the concepts taught that day. I would constantly lie on my bed all day. Thinking about it, when it’s time to study i would automatically make excuses to myself thinking that whatever happens happen and that my stock knowledge will carry me through it. It never does, because of this thinking it has led to me to fail 2 of my subjects.
I also find that I lack the consistency to pursue my goals. I’d read a book on self-improvement; I would get hyped and even motivated for the first few days and after that just fizzle out. I also used to go to the gym every single day in my high school days. but now, I have this fear of the gym I think? Because I basically become fat then slim then became fat again. I think I feel shame for failing those goals of mine and letting myself go. It’s this cycle of me going after a new goal motivated and ready to take on the world and then me losing those motivation and then feeling pretty shit about it afterwards.
I think I’m a charismatic person? because whenever I talk to people i feel at ease, I even hosted some events. but thinking deeper about it. It feels like I’m putting a facade, a mask in order to make those people like me. I’m someone who didn’t really have his own opinion for the fear of getting ridiculed and outcasted on my friend group. It has become normal for me to just go with what’s popular and adapt that belief. I have always based my confidence and self-assuredness to what other people think of me.
In terms of my relationships with other people, I always find that I always become submissive if that’s the right word for it. I would always accede to their demands no matter how ridiculous. I have a HARD time saying no. Since I felt like if I do so people would reject me. I always tend to “Be the bigger man” in an argument" but further meditation on it reveals that I’m just afraid of confrontation. I never wanted to be in an argument. It feels scary to me. But maybe it’s because I don’t really know what I believe in that’s why I can’t defend them.
In terms of relationships with women, Oh boy. I’m the archetype of a nice guy. I would shower girls with compliments and hope that they become attracted to me. I have also never kissed or even held hands with a woman. I think one of the reasons why is because I’m afraid they’ll cancel me if that makes sense to you all. Because in our country feminism is so rampant. I feel like if did something wrong it would ruin my life. I don’t want to blame feminism, maybe it’s just how I am.
That’s basically it. I aim to transform myself and be free of these characteristics/flaws of mine. I want adopt the qualities that I have always imagined but couldn’t manifest.
Btw, I’m also planning on buying another sub to add to my stack, please give me advice on that. Money has been rather tight and I’m glad I got to buy the sub so yes. I plan on listening to Emperor for a whole year or more since It’s a big investment for me. I can’t really buy subliminals continually. So please give me advice on the subs that have the most bang for buck in regard to my situation of course. Thank you all again.
P.S: It has been rather hard for me to write the words on these post as exploring yourself and being aware of your flaws is hard. Any advice in regard to how i can take action is greatly appreciated. Thank you all.
At the posting of this post. It’s nighttime from where I live so I won’t be able to respond to your replies, but I would read them all first thing in the morning. Thank you all again.