Guilt as a barrier to happiness, wealth, peace, stability,etc

Questions and Comments
#1

Maybe this is my post bloom from Phoenix but I’ve been really digging into some limiting beliefs or anchors I hold. And I’m wondering if anyone has input or advice.

I find myself feeling guilty when my life gets better. Either making more money, being more liked, or just starting to feel happy. I’ve put a ton of work into myself, I’ve clawed my way out of some seriously dark times. I’ve been lucky to have parents that didn’t kick me out of the house because of my dysfunctional nature when younger, if they did I might be homeless or dead. That was the level of non functional I was at. I still carry some shame over it.

Its like, something as simple as showering. Friggin showering, dumping gallons of water over yourself to get clean when somebody in another country is dying to have clean water. Am I grateful for being able to stick a glass under a faucet and have a life necessity on hand? Hell yeah. But it’s such a bleak contrast to this world in general.

Having said that I’m trying to put my own oxygen mask on before I help others. My life has gotten better but I still struggle. I just have this constant duality in my head of happiness and feeling good being this tiny bubble I’m privileged enough to live in when there’s a harsh world out there.

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#2

I don’t feel guilty about things getting better. I’m generally thinking it won’t last. It’s always very temporary or takes what feels like forever to happen.

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#3

I do struggle with that too. It sucks to deal with. Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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#4

I’ll throw this in.

Who…and what are you truly responsible for?

Sounds like Phoenix is poking at some very troublesome beliefs you carry. I’m replying to what you wrote.

I’m on LB, and yesterday I realized I’m putting my value in everyone else’s hands. It hit right where it counts. Today I’m keeping the focus on how I treat myself.

What’s Phoenix saying to you?

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#5

Progress and happiness are a result of our hard work; yet we find ourselves feeling guilty for it. I believe it stems from a belief that we’ve failed to meet certain expectations, which we could have brought on our own or imposed by others like our parents during childhood. I find myself still struggling with this. For me the main things I’ve noticed that influence guilt are - religious beliefs, cultural expectations, my upbringing, family values, life experiences, and interpersonal relationships.

All these things have contributed towards guilt and its impact on my life. It really hinders our well-being and drastically slows down our personal growth. As far as overcoming guilt, it’s about addressing each underlying cause one thing at a time. Understanding the root cause of the guilt is necessary in order to address it effectively. Once you identify it, you can then evaluate whether the belief aligns with your values. If not, you should challenge it and reframe these beliefs using NLP to reflect your authentic self. The healing subs really help with this and they bring a lot of crap up to the surface.

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#6

Why do you feel guilty? I didn’t quite understand the reasoning in your post.

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#7

@subliminalguy Thanks for asking, that’s helping me pull out some stuff. Right now I feel like my needs aren’t important. To my core, it’s always felt like everybody else around me has to be good before I’m allowed to be. Obviously that’s just not possible, doesn’t stop my mind though.

LB is replacing Phoenix in my current cycle because I’ve realized this just needs an approach where I practically force love on myself. Doesn’t even matter if it hurts, nothing in my life can come into fruition until I start allowing it. And I rarely ever allow it because of a lack of deservingness in me.

I guess a lot of this stems from my childhood and when there was dysfunction in the family I felt the need to resolve it in some way in order to get back love from my parents. I’ve been dragged along by this pattern all my life. I’m done with it. It’s lead to me getting stuck in shitty jobs and putting up with shitty people because I minimize my own feelings and give to others when I should turn the other way.

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#8

I guess just trauma stuff maybe. Holding onto responsibilities that shouldn’t have been mine to begin with. I think that’s the hard part though, I’ve tried to mentally deconstruct this stuff and convince myself it’s ok to give myself good things and it’s like an aversion. There’s something deeper there because trying to alter that belief with logic or similar doesn’t make an impact.

#9

Okay, yeah I see what you mean. I know someone like this.

They feel guilty about self-care or spending money on themselves like buying a new jacket. Almost like they subconsciously don’t feel “deserving” of it.

Yeah, in my opinion it’s just a selflove/selfworth type of thing. Fundamentals. What you describe is actually quite common in society, in my personal observation. Generational trauma, highly common in families where the baseline of the selflove/selfworth foundational belief system is quite weak. For example, I used to work in warehouses when I got out of high-school, in retrospect everyone I ever met there in the job environment, had very weak foundational baseline.

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#10

It’s scary, but I can relate to every last word. Completely.

LB is not the easiest sub to run, but I applaud your determination to break the mold you’re living in.

You have guts.

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#11

Yeah, this is a good choice. LB will fix this.

But it won’t be easy.

It can be very scary, emotional, and uncomfortable to overcome. It helps to understand that the way to overcome will involve work with your emotions/beliefs. Being aware of that process, and intimate with it.

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#12

Some of my emotional regulation got polished up on my stint with Phoenix. So I’m hoping that helps me sit with the things LB brings up more. But yeah, I’ve run LB once before for a few weeks and it was tough. Felt like I was being torn in two from the inside by opposing forces.

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#13

Exactly. This is the exact same shit that I did.

Emotional discomfort, gets overridden by willingness and readiness to change.

I grow fast because I’m often trying to explore my internal discomforts, and “look underneath the recon” so to speak. Other people tend to escape and avoid, whereas I do the opposite. I look for what my emotions and internal processes are trying to tell me, with both the readiness to let go of anything and accept new pathways of thinking.

If you want to ensure that you’re not running away from things and make headway, then I would recommend taking some time out of your day like 30 minutes - 1 hour to just listen internally to what’s being brought up or journaling it in a private journal. Basically, minimizing coping mechanisms. Having a window in the schedule, prevents people from coping mechanism the coping mechanism so to speak, lol. Can’t run away from stuff.

It does typically hurt… because the trauma itself doesn’t exactly feel good. It’s rooted in fears and negative emotions. So the process can typically involve working through those emotions, letting them go, and being able to look at fears in a dismissive manner through newfound logics that are unique to you. Basically, the hold of everything begins to weaken and loosen up. You feel a liberation in that process. No more need for oxygen masks. And then next you know, you don’t feel like shit anymore. Hahaha.

When you’re getting internally torn, it means you’re not ready for that. It does not matter how much you willpowered your way to stick to the subliminal… your subconsious mind will just get you off it. But that’s a different, and more advanced discussion. Anyways, the point is, everyone here is progressing at different rates with unique sets of challenges. Shit is like an art gallery. Lol. Isn’t it cool, or is it just me

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#14

Ok so this caught my eye. Do tell. I will stick to a sub for a long time and legit ignore how uncomfortable it is until I get the outcome I want. But it’s worked against me because ultimately I’m putting a goal in front of my own emotional well being, which is neglectful in a way. Which probably stems from some trauma again lol. And 90% of the time I don’t get to that goal anyway so it was an exercise in self torture. I fully understand that’s ME not the subs, but I’'m the opposite of a sub hopper. I don’t listen internally enough and when to change my approach. So you’re saying if LB is that polarizing for me I should seek out something else?

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#15
pargraphs

No, I meant that generally speaking, if someone runs a subliminal and they feel insane amounts of recon to the point that they’re feeling “torn apart” regardless of listening strategy, then it’s naturally quite likely that their internal framework isn’t strong enough to handle the level of change involved.

Even if you don’t attain your goal with the subliminal, you most probably received some insight or self-awareness that has played a part in your overall journey towards it.

I’m pretty sure if I check out your journaling from your last run with LB, then I will encounter some notable subconscious reworking, no matter how small. Advanced users tend to be sensitive to those subtle growths. I guarantee you that people like Saint and Fire see these things quite easily, as they’ve likely trained themselves to not only identify conscious feedback, but unconscious feedback as well.

Growth isn’t always black and white, it can be extremely subtle. Especially in the pre-foundation area (it’s like the tutorial zone in a video game). Super baby steps, lol.

Instead of growth being the planted seed growing into a tree, it can be the germination occurring which most people from the outside looking in are not even aware of. Biochemical and all types of deep shit, like temperature and oxygen availability. It could be a single enzyme breaking down a single stored nutrient.

A lot of average noob people in this subliminal domain, don’t really understand that concept. They want to see everything visibly, or conclude that there is no progress that has taken place. I personally call it “black and white syndrome”. It’s quite an ignorant approach when you consider that literally the primary mechanism of these tools involves working with the subconscious mind which means below conscious awareness.

But yeah, to answer your question about one not being ready for a subliminal. The key thing about this is I’m not talking about the subliminal, I’m talking about the nature of the work being undertaken by the individual. Someone could deep down very well just straight up not be ready for x type of work. In which case, their experience of using the subliminal can very well be insightful to exactly that, as well as the reasons behind why.

In your case, if you have massive blocks that prevent you from even doing internal emotional work which is essentially vital to the process of any type of self-love or internal work for that matter… well it’s not so farfetched for you to get redirected from LB to Phoenix. It’s like building with legos. Specific subliminals don’t actually matter as much as people think because they’re superseded by overall goals, readiness, and direction of the individual. If you’re building a house, sometimes you need to swap the hammer for a screwdriver, then swap that with a saw, then back to the hammer. If the house has been building the whole time… does it matter how many times you swapped? When we build a house, do we obsess over the swapping of the tools? No, we don’t care about the tools… we just care about if the house is getting built. Lol. This is how people sound to me when they obsess over subliminals, and super specific nuances. They all pale to the grand scheme, larger picture of your entire growth and goal manifestation - aka the things that matter above all else.

I’m not advocating for sub-hopping, lol. I’m more just trying to reinforce the importance of trusting your overall direction for where you plan to go in life and know that you’ll get there. That, that is the umbrella for all of your sub usage, whether one is consciously aware of it or not.

Anyways, I would say to stick with LB, and use micro-loop, take breaks, and etc. You should be alright, lol.

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Learn what self love is
#16

Thanks for this. I liked your tool comparison. Fine line between sub hopping and intuitively changing your approach to a goal. I like to think I’m at least somewhat advanced so I should start listening to that intuition more. Good stuff

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#17

Lol, right. I’m mainly pointing that out because I don’t want people to have this immense fearmongering about changing their stacks, buying tailored customs, or trying out new subliminals.

As if switching a subliminal or changing a stack is somehow a god forbidden taboo.

On one side, there’s mindless FOMO, sub-hopping and goal changing with no basis due to recon.

And on the other side, there is extreme fear in trying out a different subliminal.

Both are unhealthy. It’s good to loosen up a little, people sometimes act like their life depends on a subliminal.

I believe in the healthy middle ground and having a practical approach. It’s just my opinion.

The middle ground for me, is focusing on the clear goals, vision, and long-term direction. The umbrella.

If someone is daily committed to their long-term goals, vision, and direction… whether that’s their dream of being a popular streamer, musician, songwriter, fighter, business mogul, reaching a specific income, having a certain lifestyle, etc or just basic development in becoming the best version of themselves… then I don’t see how intuitively changing up the tool for their journey will screw them over in a manner that warrants high level fearmongering. Their journey takes precedence over the tools.

Especially when these things are scripted so advanced, and in a sense play off of and tie into each other. It’s not all just black and white stuff in a vacuum… there are a lot of things going on in the background people have zero clue about.

Now action-taking on the other hand… not optional. Lol.

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#18

I blame my background with other subliminals that were less forgiving and inflexible lol. Despite the ridiculous leaps in tech with this company, the early impressions of how subliminals are to be approached is still probably etched in my mind.

Admittedly at one point in my life it did. I get how people can get hung up with that. It’s not healthy, but I get it. Especially with the merry go round of therapists you have to get on sometimes and the cost.

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#19

In my case it’s exactly black or white, no grey area in the middle, got this mindset from my parents, they were given a certain set of rules and they cannot move away from it meaning they don’t grow, in age but not in mindset.

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#20

How about checking out some of these books:

When I say no I Feel Guilty by Manuel Smith

Feeling Good by David Burns

Ten Days to Self Esteem by David Burns

Get the Life you Want by Richard Bandler

Perhaps your therapist might recommend something similar to:

DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan (maybe there are workbooks or handouts)

Also your library might have these books. If not, perhaps ask your local library about InterLibrary Loan programs.

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