Geoff's Journal - Reflections of a Hero

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#21

After this morning’s loop, it took longer to fall asleep as my mind was zoomin.

It stormed all day, thunder cracking kept waking me up so sleep wasn’t great along with waking 3 to 4 hours earlier than usual. I woke up with brain fog and my mood is flat. All week I felt viscerally ‘awake and on’ and now I feel backlogged. Overexsposure sucks. I should have listened to my gut and skipped. Mentally im irritated, too much scripting.

The girl I reached out to replied with her number, no other response. I texted and got a weird feeling. “Her” response was a general comment followed by a 2nd text asking when the last time we saw each other was. At first I answered the question but then realized this doesnt seem like her, I dont think im actually talking to her. No response to my answer since. I deleted her contact. Im fairly certain its her ex who hacked her account. Literally 10 years ago this exact same scenario played out. Talk about insecure and controlling.

I have no idea why my subconscious brought her into my mind and I acted on it only to relive a decades old repeat experience. Regardless this is a big flashing, red flag, warning me not to bother so im letting it go.

Hopefully in a day or two this recon fog lifts and I get back to the blissful awareness I had before.

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#22

Note about recon:

When I first started this custom, a few days into it I experienced agitation and felt a little depressed. This, on 30 seconds every two days. I’d consider that high recon

Now, at 45 seconds every two days I’ve ventured into brain fog, heaviness, feeling of mental overwhelm, pervading sadness within and irritation. This is not unlike the first recon albeit more intense. I’d consider this over exposure.

Reminder for future clarity

#23

As the recon starts to fade, my mind starts churning once again. If I could describe Rom/Ros in one, no two words…itd be Expansive and Immersive.

It reminds me of the time I went to a planetarium like 25 years ago. I sat down in a seat, the lights went off everywhere and the universe came alive above my head. You felt so small looking up into the expansive and immersive replica of the stars/universe. That experience is not unlike how these subs affect me.

Im low key in awe at how SaintSovereign scripted these subs, he’s always been talented in my book and I absolutely love his writing but Rom and Ros make him a legend. I dont even know man, its crazy how activated your mind becomes.

“RoM also includes scripting to greatly enhance the senses, reflexes and intuition to assist with your exploration with life, as well as scripting designed to provide a strong sense of inner peace and balance. You’ll also feel a strong push to live in the moment, taking moments of silence to simply enjoy and appreciate all that existence has to offer.”

Yep, my senses feel extra sensitive. Perception shifts, less communication but more knowing. It’s surprising that almost all of my goals I had before starting this custom are completely on the back burner now. I dont want to say that ive lost my drive but rather it all feels so insignificant now or at the very least no longer pushing as a priority.

Materialism and consumerism dropped off hard. I was never that bad and we all like what we like, but now worldy stuff just lost its appeal. Even projects and plans I once felt strongly about are no longer that important as I continue to question the why behind everything.

“There’s plenty of scripting dealing with gratitude and living in the moment, preventing the memory of past traumas to interfere with your current growth and acquisition of knowledge.”

I am not sure if this is correct but I’ve consistently struggled with past memories essentially coming up multiple times, cringy scenarios showing my past incongruence, digging up shame and resentment. Since starting this custom, my mind is reeling all day with thoughts but I haven’t experienced these past memories like I used to with my previous stack (Emp & LB) so this is a pretty righteous result and im super grateful. It’s a lot more peaceful now.

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#24

Jeremia 29,11
And I am planning for you a plan of peace and not of evil, in order to give you all these things I have promised — your restoration, your return, and your future good.

Translation

The original text is from the Septuagint, the Greek version of the old testament.
The Septuagint has an advantage over the Hebrew text in terms of textual reliability, as it was translated long ago and did not require later interpretation to restore missing vowels.
The last part of the verse is just a list of promises, given in earlier verses. The Greek text just stated ταῦτα meaning these things, so I included this list.

#25

Interesting, I looked it up. Thanks for sharing.

Have you read the Acts of Peter?

#26

Never read one of the apocrypha.
I have a few books on them, but never read one of that either.

#27

Overall there’s been a reduction in chaotic emotion and more refinement into emotional depth. Whenever im experiencing an emotion or im in a certain state, the quality of the experience is more mature and grounded. Everything is less excitable and more calm in its expression.

I continue to be drawn towards music for some reason. I dont really go after listening but if I hear something, I somehow get stuck on it and end up giving it time to play/finish and my mind kind of goes into inquisitive mode. I started paying attention to different parts and seem overly aware of the tone of voice in singers voices trying to understand where they are in the moment of singing. It gets quite deep.

I was just out grabbing some groceries and I was listening to a conversation between a few workers, what really surprised me was how aware I was of each personality in the group, how each one’s tone of voice reflected their feelings and positions on things said between them. I very easily picked up on subtleties, even understanding the hierarchy of the group. Intuition, awareness and understanding have definitely improved.

I dont think i’ve done anything action wise to cultivate these improvements other than just being more calm, allowing experience to flow into/through me. Reminds me of how I used to say God gave us two eyes, two ears but one mouth which means we are to watch and listen twice as much as we speak. If we could only get out of our own ways, we’d experience so much more.

A big result from this custom is the stepping back. The detachment, its not a non chalance type but an outside observer perspective kind of detachment. A wait and see vibe.

The increased Awareness scripting + Symphony of the Glyphs has been great too. I’ll be looking around not at anything in particular when randomly ill notice something, sometimes I recognize the shape, symbol or pattern, sometimes I have no idea but know its important. Ive always been fascinated by how much I dont know. How much I dont see in everyday life, how much is hidden in plain sight and cloaked by plausible deniability. This is the first time I am starting to feel like things are making themselves known to me.

Ears to hear and Eyes to see :eyes: its a gift ive always wanted, none of us can be all knowing and all seeing but this custom is a start.

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#28

Sun

Reflections - 45 seconds

HeO - 15 seconds

After 4 days off, Im ready for more. I thought back to my last stack and realized that whether I listened to 30 seconds or 5 minutes, 4 to 5 days between loops was what I needed to process and express scripting. So I thought, why not just add Hero Origins in at 15 seconds, I only have one week on this cycle anyways then a 7 day washout. 4 processing days between loops.

Listening was smooth, no noticeable resistance. I do notice some slight aches now that its been a few mins post loop. Scripting is definitely dense and effective, I’ll keep going even if I have to crawl through it.

I noticed that even with neurofeedback therapy, I am very sensitive and responsive to stimuli. I can easily swing from one side of results to another. Subs if ran low and slow build up great results but if I push it or dont give myself enough time I can swing right into over exposure easily. 4 rest days between loops will have to be my standard going forward if I want to grow and improve.

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#29

Hi Geoff,
may I ask you what type of Neurofeedback theraphy you are doing? Which montages and which technology?
After using it with a practitioner for 6 month and around 30 sessions I bought myself a device. Mostly using ILF, but starting to put in some SMR, Alpha Thetha and Gamma Synchrony. Its miracoulous technology. My body is slowly learning to regulate itself without outer means.

Secondly. I want to create a RoS Custom, add in some physicial healing stuff that I want to experiment with. Deicinding what to use as a result enchancer. Dont want to go as deep as you as I also run KB and LB simultanously.

Do you have a feeling about Evolving Identity vs. Synergy Subconcious mastery? Have you felt their specific impact? Which one would you rate higher?

#30

Hey man, Ive been seeing a practitioner who uses the Othmer method, Ilf based neurofeedback. I never bought or used personal devices so thats an area im unsure about.

I think Evolving Identity is interesting, it adds depth to whatever you’re working on in your mind. I think its a great addition. After reading the Rom Sales page, I realized it has scripting that does what Synergy: Subconscious Mastery does so if I could start over again, I would leave it out. You mentioned only using only Ros so it depends what the goal is. I wanted to deeply investigate myself hence all the inward modules.

You mentioned adding physical healing stuff to Ros, like energy work modules or literal physical ones like? If I was just using Ros - I’d probably use Synergy: Subconscious Mastery to help pull up/out information and better utilize both hemispheres of brain to help facilitate the exploration of Spirit. It seems more helpful. Evolving Identity is seems like it takes things deeper once something has been discovered, almost like a step 2. I definitely notice Subconscious Mastery, some random trigger will activate your mind and you’ll end up with a stream of memories or experience come up related to whatever triggered them and you’ll start analyzing everything.

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#31

Its less about feeling/impulse and more about knowing/certainty.

Risk taking, reactivity and impulsivity are down. All my actions appear methodical and planned out. If im not sure about something, action is restrained until full understanding. Im observing much more compared to my previous quick scanning them impulsive action. It seems my priorities are changing, where I used to value quick problem solving I know value understanding and cautious execution. Granted you dont always require full understanding in order to act but lately Im not willing to just react for the sake of doing something. Im settling into myself and choosing the right time for anything.

The reorganization of Psyche and Spirit.

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#32

The recon since my loops has been harsh. I had poor broken sleep and tossed and turned for hours. Ive had a headache since I got up. On way to work I stopped and bought a 32oz bottle of organic coconut water, full of electrolytes and it did absolutely nothing to my headache. Dullminded, head pressure and impatience are the themes for tonight.

I was listening to YouTube vids earlier and I felt so agitated I almost threw my phone. I had to stop. My mind feels like a cup overflowing. Ive gone back and forth between cutting Hero, trying something else, reducing the custom just thinking irrationally. I realized tonight that all 3 subs are artisinal…

I found reading the sales pages of the subs im listening to helps reaffirm my commitment and gives me better clarity on my goals and why I chose them in the first place. I have to be honest the recon isnt easy with these, reminds me of my Dragon Reborn run as far as intensity. Im going to have to go really slow :snail: im not sure why the thought of that bothers me. I considered jumping to other titles but there really isnt anything else that really grabs me. I’d like to use Love Bomb but I just ran it for a year.

The irrationality of recon is wicked, it makes all the bad ideas look good somehow. I didnt want to write about all this because it feels like complaining to me but transparency and honest journaling is important.

It’ll pass, it always does - its important to stay consistent. Its important to me that I finish what I start, that I dont quit. I spent months talking about this stack, looking forward to it and how excited I was to have the opportunity to do so. Honor that

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#33

I bought an ilf othmer device myself actually :grin:

Okay, ill have to think about evolving identity then. Subconcious mastery feels to intense then. My mind allreqdy works in that way you describe it and inactually have to train myself so not just seeing a kid with icecream om the street gets me into inteospection mode about my own childhood.

I want to add energy and also some physical ones. Dna repair, eyesight, hormones, nervous system and fat burn to get my body temperature and metabolism up.

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#34

Do you supplement selenium by chance? Selenium deficiency can result in low thyroid function causing lower overall temperature regulation and poor energy. I used to suffer from cold extremities for years, started taking 100 to 150 ‘Micrograms’ (mcg) a day and I haven’t felt abnormally cold since.

Have you considered Way of Understanding? Are you looking increase introspection or some kind of healing? Way of Understanding could help with compassionate inquiry and insight into the whys of things.

#35

Looking to uncover my passion and true identity.
Idk why you are doing ilf neurofeedback…but i am a cptst survivor. Only in the recent months i broke through all my addictions, coping mechanism and the codenpendency. Currently learning to be alone for the first time in my life. And the thing i am discovering…who am I beyond all these programs created in childhood? I feel blank. When all these coping and survival mechanisms are gone…i am nobody. Or atleast it feels like that.
I have no appointments in my calender. Decided to take atleast 2-3 months in mostly solitude to get to know myself. Find my lifes purpose. Decide what inwant to do with my life. It feels now that i learned to self regulate thanks to ILF, i am someone completley different.

And this is what i want to do. But I dont want to go so hard on introspection. I am allready very inteospective and dont want to lose myself inside of me…i have thatbtendency to do that. And allready runnign lovebomb and khan black in conjunction.

Its not that I feel cold. I simply feel nothing in my body. I want my body to feel good. I take some selenium everyday. Thank you for that idea. Also it feels like that my fat metabolism isnt really working. That my body cannot really rpoduce energy from fat. I hope that fatburn will help there.
Only in the last months i am not running of addrenal energy and stress anymore. Body needs to learn to create energy in a different way.

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A life worth living and dying for - MechaShaman
#36

Same diagnosis for me, been focusing on T3 - T4 for stabilization and P3-P4 for body homeostasis/nervous system regulation.

If you’re already good on introspection then I wouldn’t bother with evolving Identity or subconscious mastery. I’d look at the authenticity modules like Art of Trust or Living Truth to help bring the real you out. I want to use those as well but this custom is step one for me, figure stuff out then focus on the authenticity as right now im a little lost within myself and want to dig up/excavate everything I can because I feel so disorganized inside. Way of Understanding is quite interesting as well because it helps us understand others and ourselves which for dysregulated ppl is important.

Hope this helps

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#37

Wonderful, thank you.

I have been doing a lot of T4-P4 and recently also T3-T4. Starting to get into SMR aswell. When you feel ready and stable give gamma synchrony on F3-F4 a try. But this is serious shit.

#38

The recon spike was really high Sunday, making that post actually helped bring recon down somewhat. Today, I woke up 4 hours earlier than usual and im already tired however I did actually exercise tonight which I haven’t really done properly in weeks. Seems like after Emperor the drive faded.

I went to go to my back door and check on my garden when I smelled death, I looked around and found in a container…a dead bat. I didnt know we had bats in MI. Immediately my mind thought " What is the meaning of finding a dead bat" so I googled it…

First site I opened started with …Seen a Dead Bat Recently? Here’s the Spiritual Meaning!
You are on a path of transformation and rebirth…

"Encountering a deceased bat may carry significant spiritual meaning… and not necessarily a negative omen. For example, you may be approaching the culmination of a certain difficult stage of your life and undergoing a period of major transition. This belief stems from the fact that bats undergo incredibly transformative physiological changes, particularly during hibernation and migration.

Since bats are seen as creatures of the night, they symbolise rebirth and renewal amidst the darkness. From a spiritual perspective, a dead bat may indicate that you are being shown how bright the light is at the end of the tunnel. Seeing a dead bat in an unusual place may also signify the need to let go and welcome change, while remaining cautious about life choices that no longer align with your higher purpose. A sighting of this kind may also symbolise the release of old beliefs, behaviours, or relationships that no longer serve you."

Sounds very Rom/Ros + Hero ish if you ask me. This is something that never happens to me so im inclined to take this experience seriously. Very interesting to say the least.

I stopped at the store on the way to work and I caught about 3 ppl long staring at me as if I was magnetic and they couldn’t help be drawn to me. There’s no aura in Rom & Ros right? I listened to 15 seconds of Hero…could that be working already? Between the calm, stoic certainty im feeling tonight and the subtle exercise motivation it could very well be. Impressive

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#39

The less compromises you have to make in life, the happier you will be.

I reflect back and the times when I was the most stressed or most unhappy was when I had given in to something for another’s benefit. When I let myself down for the external good, compromised.

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#40

Hero Origins is an interesting title. Just 15 seconds 4 days ago and Im super calm, composed and quiet. Masculine presence is better, slight exercise motivation returning and even tonight my supervisor walks over to me while making one of those chest puffed out, muscle poses saying “Hey Geoff” with a half smile. I realize it was just a friendly thing but thats never happened before. He asked me to operate in another area tonight.

Is this one of those subconscious reactions to the “natural alpha” aura SaintSovereign talked about in the Hero Origins thread? Could be

I also noticed another coworker yesterday come over and basically ask me about his behavior. He had called out a seemingly dumb thing about a volunteer training opportunity in the meeting and afterwards felt like he should have just shut up and not mentioned anything. He hardly talks to me, we aren’t close at all. Seems like the same affect, ppl are recognizing some kind of authority within me? Or whatever it is.

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