Geoff's Journal - Closing The Gap

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#21

12:45pm - Thursday

1 loop - 3 mins.

I woke up today feeling really avoidant and not that confident. So I decided to run my 2nd loop this week.

I was reading the description for Victory’s Call

You know the feeling. The feeling when you aren’t really dreading something, but you just… don’t want to do it. And so you end up avoiding it, delaying it until you have no choice. No more. Eliminate avoidance with Victory’s Call, and get the things you know you have to do done. By adding Victory’s Call to your custom you will gradually remove your avoidant tendencies and charge your problems and issues head on, regardless of what they are – be it a difficult conversation, decision or simply boring routine. Victory calls, it is time for you to answer.

If I’m feeling overly avoidant(before loop) is this a big/clear sign of of reconciliation? Same as feeling unconfidedent which Ascension must be working on?

I’ve been trying to cultivate more inner awareness of my state and in the past, feeling the opposite of how the sub is supposed to make me feel was depressing but now I’m feeling optimistic when I recognize things like this.

Granted I haven’t overcome the issues (yet) and still idling in avoidance but at least (I think) I know I’m on right track.

2 Likes
#22

It’s been a quiet weekend however in talking with this girl, I’ve noticed some things. Maybe it’s Iron Frame or Lion IV but my skin is thicker, sometimes she throws shade and instead of it affecting me, it’s almost deflected and I feel hardly anything. Glm gave me non-reactivity but this is more apparent to me, it’s more pronounced. I’ve also noticed that she laughs at some comments/jokes I make which I’d dare say didn’t really happen before. I think she’s warming up more n more to me. I’m also playful, optimism oriented and maybe more outcome independent.

Manipulus is in this custom and I’m not sure if is this a result but the girls acknowledges openly and apologizes on her own, for shitty behavior such as being selfish at times and saying things that are uncalled for regardless who it’s about, she’s calling out her own character defects and their effects on my behalf in a way, like she’s trying to prove herself in a way. I don’t know of any other module that would manifest this stuff other than manipulus so I’m crediting it.

I seem to be literally stuck at 140lbs, it’s been a month. I’m under 1400 calories a day, exercising and about to drop carbs back down. Gotta do more.

Not feeling any fire or drive from Ascension yet but hopefully once I start working I’ll notice more.

I’m genuinely curious how to utilize Khronos Key, aside from wishing the day would speed up/ slow down, I’m curious how to best make use of it. I’ll probably put in a support ticket.

2 Likes
#23

Monday - noon.

1 loop Custom - 3 mins
1 loop of Balanced Zp (Paragon custom) 3 mins.

My health issue is down to the size of a raisin approximately, hopefully this loop of Paragon will clear it :100:.

I’ve been overly sensitive to outside yesterday and today, my eyes start watering and I’m squinting like mad. Not sure why, don’t think it’s recon but I’m hoping Paragon does something about this as well. I’ve been outside a lot since being unemployed and it’s never been an issue until now.

…

I seem to have dropped to 138lbs all of a sudden. I started telling myself in my mind to focus on using up bodyfat a few days ago and suddenly I’m a little lighter. Not sure how that works exactly but I’ll take it.

Adjusting to days is more difficult than I expected but I’m doing it everyday even on weekends. My lack of a routine is killing my gains, I’m struggling to be productive this week but at least I’m not being destructive. Just need to get a grip and take action.

1 Like
#24

Weds - 12:30pm

1 loop - Custom, 3 mins
1 loop - LBH, 3 mins

Been seeing a lot of talk about LBH on forum. I think it triggered me a little as I’ve been overly aware/focused on my self esteem, internal mood and thoughts about myself and abilities. It relates the confidence I’m dealing with, I get some reconciliation with Ascension I feel. There’s this nagging feeling of not being good enough, apprehension with starting my new job next week. I figure LBH is the perfect companion to this custom right now, I’ll get in 3 loops total before job starts. I think it will have a positive impact on the future and help me integrate Ascension more.

Iron Frame I think is showing up. I’m so resilient to social interactions, in person, on phone or online. Before I’d react to a comment or situation and quickly work through it. Now things that would have caused a reaction in me don’t even register. It’s like comments don’t even exist in my awareness anymore, they don’t get close enough to me to even matter. It’s crazy how much my frame is strengthening. It is weird to notice some parts changing while others are stuck in reconciliation, I feel like a half done puzzle, some parts are good and other parts are missing pieces.

1 Like
#25

My communication with people is improving. I feel increased rapport with 2 of my neighbors. They have reached out a lot since I started this custom.

Things are improving a lot with this girl I’ve been communicating too, more flirty, increased attention, reaches out more often and you can see the attraction in her rising. This is directly from this custom for sure. When I was running Glm/LotS it was going okay, I got her to talk to me again, now with Ascension in the core mix…things are just naturally leveling up.

It could very well be Lion IV also.

My frame is growing stronger.

I’m not reactive to negs, put downs, sarcasm, emotions ect, ect.

I’ve made her and others laugh (not my strong suit)

I’m optimistic 85% of the time, downplay or transmute negativity with others.

I do feel less attached to outcomes. If I really want something, I start consciously trying to guide the want and in small ways things happen.

The idea of Boundaries is in the back of my mind, I’m aware of possible situations and slowly I’m learning what mine are and how best to set/maintain some. This is a long term strategy as having boundaries are a big challenge for me since childhood. I’ve used isolation as a coping strategy for not having boundaries so having this module in my custom is very important. But so far I haven’t had issues. I believe the Masculinity focus of this custom is setting a tone and reducing the need to set boundaries off the bat.

Things are happening, I just need to pay attention and journal them.

1 Like
#26

@SaintSovereign apologies for the direct tag, but I figure this is more appropriate than a DM. @AnswerGroup

I have a feeling there’s a limit that’s keeping me from ambition, drive and confident assertiveness. Being a Christian in today’s world, it’s easy to see all of the signs pointing to the end times/end of days.

Ascension I’ve seen on the forum creates a burning fire in people (from beowulf) and Derpinator talking about how active it makes you want to be in life.

I notice that because the state of the world looks so pointless and vain, what is the point in trying to level up in this world? This belief is clashing with all input related to chasing goals, pushing myself, working hard to advance, making plans, going back to finish degree and even exercising…because if the world’s going to shit, why bother right?

Now since you claim Christianity also, I kindly ask you as a subliminal creator to help me reconcile this? What could I possibly do to get myself past this belief inspired limit in order to grow/advance in the meantime.

My low drive, motivation and confidence feels stuck and whenever I try to analyze it, it all falls back to these and l then some…

Mark. 8 Verses 34 to 38

[36] For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? [37] Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Ecclesiastes 1:2-8 KJV

Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?

Matthew 24:6

King James Version
6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

James 4:4

King James Version
4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

1 Like
#27

IMO, this looks like recon when your beliefs conflict and prevent you to take action of the subs. You can temporarily forget about what you are taught, take action towards ambition, drive and confident assertiveness that you need in 3 to 6 months. After that, you can look back and evaluate.

1 Like
#28

Friday 9:35am

1 loop - Custom, 3 mins
1 loop - LBH, 3 mins

Getting some low level recon from LBH but also I was very extroverted yesterday, went to buy work shoes for new job. I was quite chatty and positive, enthusiastic I’d say. Built rapport with sales guy, found out his brother in law lives a road over by me and this store is an hour drive south of me.

Then later went to barber for haircut and I was open, talkative, friendly and even flirtatious. I had everyone in the barbers attention without even trying. Just very receptive to others.

Recon wise, Internally I was questioning my value. I recognized also how much I like to give to those around me, time, energy, compassion, advice, presence ect. I seem to fulfill myself through being of service which is interesting. I’ve spent decades bitter and isolating from all the hurt I’ve carried in my youth, while thinking that was who I am. Now since running Dragon Reborn, finding and going through neurofeedback, building Masculinity and using LBH…I’m beginning to uncover my real self, my real values. Authenticity is starting to express itself.

I’m hovering around 137/138lbs now. I’m a little bit more consistent in exercising but much less overall exercises. I was doing 7 to 8 different types of bodywork/weights, now I do about 3 or 4 but more often. I’m starting to think EF will be needed to build a consistent plan but LotS is working. Extreme Exercise Motivation, idk…I have the module but maybe my mind hasn’t gotten to it yet. Or maybe my expectation of what I thought I’d experience is off.

My facial hair, I basically have full goatee and neck growth, but a chinstrap cheek area, but I’m noticing maybe 20% more growth above the chinstrap line so I’m considering minoxidil but I’m not fully convinced. I just want these areas to grow in and I’ll be set. But I do see minor improvement just off LotS.

I’ve been counting calories the past 6 weeks and it’s been good. It was crazy how many excess calories I was consuming in the past let alone how much we actually need to eat. VS: Temperance is a real gem. I don’t think my lifestyle lately would be possible without its effects. I’m much more moderate in everything I do. I think more before acting. Impulsivity is way, way down. Appetite is funny, some days I don’t even want to eat. Shopping is becoming more selective/discerning. Online browsing has decreased, I’m also less affected by advertising it seems, my first thought is cynical followed by, do I need or want this, most time I don’t need or want it.

Over time I hope to experience every module in my custom but so far I’m having great results. Some goals are happening slower than I’d like but as usual that’s on me and the choices I make each day.

Speaking of choices, I had to turn down my last job offer and for some reason I felt really bad about it. Even though the benefits were much less than the job I took, I didn’t want to run cnc machines anymore and it was farther way. It paid $2/hr more but I still turned it down. I find it odd how affected I felt by rejecting it though. I’m thinking LBH had me thinking about the situation on a deeper level or something because on the surface, it just wasn’t that great.

3 Likes
#29

Mon - 4:20pm

LBH - 5 mins
Custom - 5 mins

Start my new job tomorrow, I’ve been feeling off all weekend. The frequency was increased in neurofeedback to help address this lack of mental presence I’ve been dealing with for months, it hasn’t had the desired effect. I seem to just hang on my couch, consume youtube and maybe make lunch if I come to long enough to realize I haven’t eaten yet. I feel like I’m a computer on stand by mode. Flat, letting the world pass by. I can function but anytime I’m idle, I just seem to turn off.

I really want this to go away. Life feels unnecessarily unfair or difficult today. It will pass but that’s the mood today, flat and out of touch.

I think maybe a washout rest of week might be good, LBH has me in a self loathing/low Self worth, woe is me kind of mood and it doesn’t feel good but sooner or later, day will break. Who knew LBH could cause me to manifest some weird depression. I hope I can keep this in check with my new job, not a good first impression looking low and apathetic.

Bright side is I’m getting a lot of sun, sitting outside for a few hours, minor sun burn. Appetites low, probably just in hypoarousal which I’ll just need my frequency increased more. Just feeling like a zombie…

1 Like
#30

First day at work went well. It was overly hot all day but isn’t usually like that according to coworkers.

Very friendly place, clean and positive work culture, did not see one grumpy person, impressed.

Boss commented about me flip flopping between 1st/3rd which didn’t sit well with me. I’m not interested in that nor do I want to go to nights, been there done that so I’m curious how I can circumvent this future situation with Yggdrasil and Tyrant in this custom. How do I manifest a situation where my boss decides to keep me on days before Christmas? I have 90 days probation then I’m being moved after training so I really want to manifest a change, any ideas?

Was assigned to highest technical position out of the 5 possible positions, probably a nice effect from custom, exuding confidence, capability ect. Positions deals with a high temp area so awareness and focus are imperative which isn’t great so far as I need my neurofeedback adjusted otherwise this is a burn accident waiting to happen.

I’ll reserve full judgment for now, I’m too split to have a full opinion. I hope things go smoothly moving forward.

2 Likes
#31

4 day washout done.

Sat - 7:45pm

1 loop custom - 5 mins.

LBH - 3 mins

First week at job done, I found out it would be at least 1.5 years before the “chance to move shifts” is possible. I sought out an impromptu neurofeedback session Friday due to just struggling with mental presence. I’ve been stuck in hypoarousal and we increased things and I’m doing better the past 24 hours.

I’m coming to the conclusion that I chose the job I did out of safety and ease along with the shorter drive ect. Not feeling present or focused enough had me avoiding going back to cnc machining and 1st shift. After talking with the therapist, I decided that I no longer want 3rd shift anymore.

When I was neurotic, traumatized and struggling with hypervigilance and ocd, being on nights the past 8 years was a coping strategy for me. It was easy to avoid socializing, engaging and participating in life.

Now that things are changing, getting laid off and my schedule changing, I am seeing opportunity. I am, for the first time since freshman year of high school getting that “Spark of life” back. I’m becoming enthusiastic towards living again. This is no small thing for me. I’ve been metaphorically “dead” for the past 22 years, not thriving…just surviving/isolating.

So I reached out to the job that I had politely turned down last week and if the offer still stands, I will be switching over to them and working days and will be re-enrolling into the automation program I had previously started.

Since being on days the past month looking for work, my sleeps improved, my body needs less sleep and the previous stiffness/soreness and aches has disappeared. I’m brighter, more peaceful and get sun :sun_with_face: everyday.

I’m about 138lbs now, more to go but I’m starting to like myself more and more. Inner Voice is subtle and hard to catch in action but after some introspection I haven’t had any negative thinking towards anything really. I’ve felt frustration with my lack of presence/focus but it wasn’t being self critical. Today I’ve been feeling so grateful too, earlier last week as well.

I’m hoping I see more results with this custom as neurofeedback brings me into the optimal threshold, as being hypoaroused I do believe has hindered some growth and results. This screenshot shows the effects of being dysregulated in one’s life. I was stuck in Hyperarousal before neurofeedback and now I’m working my way out of Hypoarousal towards optimization.

Screenshot_20230903_162818_Gallery
Screenshot_20230903_162818_Gallery1080×2400 144 KB

Things are getting clearer for me, I’m growing and moving forward in the best ways. I’m grateful for this custom for supporting each and every action I take. The decisions I make are mostly grounded in masculinity and the modules are helping me take the right actions and stand up for what I want and driving me towards success.

My life has been slowly changing for the better ever since I started using SubClub, and that’s a fact.

3 Likes
#32

wow, amazing realizations, great journey and progress, keep it up, stay brave!

1 Like
#33

Mon - 5:30pm

1 loop custom - 5 mins

1 loop LBH - 3 mins

Today the job I turned down responded and still offered the job on 1st shift. I’ll be pushing my luck a little and asking for 2 weeks of vacation over the 1 week to start that they offered. I expect to get it (been focusing thoughts on it) and will be changing jobs by the end of this week. I’ll continue working at current job rest of week instead of just quitting tomorrow.

I haven’t noticed much from LBH, Extreme Exercise Motivation or Khronos Key. The fact that I’m barely exercising is making me wonder if it’s Recon. I’m feeling a lot of pushback mentally, not really sure how to articulate this but I don’t feel like I’m assimilating this sub well, at least today but maybe I just need to step back. I kinda remember this way when I was running LBH with DR so it’s probably some irritation from LBH.

Hopefully soon I get a nice synchronization and bloom.

2 Likes
#34

The moment I read this I thought “you have to exercise more”

Then I saw this

There’s a quote from SaintSov on how to run productivity subliminals…

Subliminals will give you the conviction that you ARE what you’re programming yourself to be, but it requires ACTION to make that change. ie., it will make you convinced you’re super motivated to workout after you go and force yourself to do a workout, and then the next workout will be way easier.

But in the mean time, you have to force yourself to do that first workout.

I think Saint’s exact example was Limitless Executive, if you want to be productive, but you’re scrolling YouTube, don’t just wait for the sub to work, force yourself to start working so the sub can start working.

Khronos Key will come when you’re doing something you really enjoy, like getting into a flow state while working on a project you’re passionate about, or even playing sports, or spending time with a loved one.

And LBFH just give that one time :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#35

Thanks for the thoughtful breakdown.

I have been forcing myself to do some exercises. Saturday I did 20 dips on my parallel bars but that was it. And a few mins ago just before hopping on here I did 5 dips and 12 push ups. I mean it feels heavy to do exercises for some reason, a resistance to it and I don’t get why.

Back when I was running Glm/LotS exercise was going great, then I added DRLD and shit just went south and it’s been this way since. I have Ascension, Glm and LotS as Cores, maybe I’m being over expectant but shouldn’t I be feeling uber motivated/driven/ambitious? Because I don’t.

I chalk it up to neurofeedback and not being in the “optimal threshold” which is keeping me in suspense for lack of a better word. My mental world isn’t dialed in (yet) so I’m trying to be patient and not place blame anywhere but understand it’s probably more than just sub recon. Things are just slow, I’m making some progress, having realizations and making positive changes such as above with career and pursuing school again at 38. But as far as drive, confidence and consistency in physical activity and daily life…it’s a struggle. Idk man, I’ll keep going…just wish I’d hit a breakthrough, I could use one.

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#36

that’s caused by overload

You might need an extended washout or a cycle or running something solo, to reduce exposure

Maybe just run GLM solo for a little bit?

It’s all about the foundations, habits, disciplines, sense of self. You’ve had some big results journaling about GLM, from what I’ve read.

LotS canadd more recon if it’s a bunch of physical shifting scripting but you’re not actually exercising to take advantage of it.

Well… a wise man once said…

:smiley:

On the one hand you’re being a bit overexpectant

BUT on the other hand, LotS is a big energy-sucker which is going to directly take time energy away from extreme drive and ambition… muscles need lots of relaxation and recovery to heal… not to mention more recon if you’re not giving yourself exercise to take action on… as per the original post of “needing to be productive in order for limitless executive to take effect.”

It’d be like listening to diamond but not having sex. That scripting has nowhere to go.

I feel like you’d get really good results with Spartan: Apex Warrior! (instead of LotS)

#37

I had bought a bottle of liquid Choline to try, came last night. I took some this morning. Wondering(based on others posts on choline) if this will help anything.

I haven’t noticed anything yet but I guess it helps mental focus and a few reviews talked about physical endurance improvement.

It’s so slow at work today so far, I’m trying to activate Khronos Key and focus on speeding up today’s shift.

After reading FoxDies post on adding in Ascension and reading Rempos reply talking about his view on what Ascension gives. I can see the same with me. The increased clarity on what I want, introspection and going after things good for me. Well changing jobs, picking back up past goals ect would qualify. Maybe I was just in an off mood yesterday and was disqualifying things I hadn’t had awareness of.

A 3 core custom (even if I did run Glm/LotS for 3 cycles prior) is dense and will take awhile. Maybe I’ll run LBH only once a week on Mondays while listening to custom MWF.

1 Like
#38

Skipped yesterday’s loop. Ended up binging on some junk food after doing an interview after work even though I already got the other job lol. I like interviews I guess and I’m always curious.

So I asked for two weeks vacation from the job I turned down. Heard yesterday it was approved, so I’m in. Finishing out this week still though I want to skip out tomorrow.

401k cashed out from previous job, I decided to pay off my student loans in full, payments pending, hopefully it clears it without some oddball interest payment after. Sad part is I’m flat broke now, less than $400 till a paycheck comes in. I haven’t felt this financially insecure in awhile. But if I didn’t pay off loan, I’m accumulating $10 a day in interest.

So I think even though I did a 4 day washout and ran loops on Monday, I’m going to let this week ride. It’s difficult lately to perceive if my struggles are reconciliation or neurofeedback but whatever it is, binging on junk and not being productive during my free time is a problem. I guess MWF at 3 or 5 mins is too much for me, idk but I’d rather slow down than make anything worse.

1 Like
#39

You will manage this :muscle:

1 Like
#40

Haven’t listened to anything in 5 days, decided to listen to my Paragon custom at 3 mins just now. Had an intense neurofeedback session yesterday and I’ve been tired since even after sleeping. So I figure Paragon might help.

Not sure what my plans are anymore, part of me wants to stop subs to get a clearer picture of progress in therapy but at the same time subliminals have no effect on neurofeedback training. I’ve definitely been stuck in hypoarousal for awhile, been feeling a little better yet tired. I’m not sure the subs are activating because I’m not at an optimal threshold to even take action.

Everything feels weird, the present and the future. I’m wondering if Quantum Limitless would help me with my training and optimizing my brain. I feel like I’m going through the “right steps” with subclub, going through the foundation subs before moving on so I’m hesitant about just running anything.

On other news, left my current job, turned down a 2nd offer and am starting my new job Monday. I’m half excited, half concerned about my ability to perform but doing it nonetheless.

I think Ascension might be showing up or at least something in my custom because the girl I’m into is getting on my nerves, my perception is changing and I’m realizing or seeing things I previously justified or ignored/tolerated. It’s slowly building and I’m getting more turned off. If women didn’t look good naked…would there be any reason to talk to them? Lol I guess this shows my internal sense of self or status is rising a little, why else would I be having this experience.

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