Perhaps its time for dragon soon man. Your on the right track since you know exactly what you need(healing trauma) why not just address the root cause with a power house like dragon now and dedicate your time to that. You even said it yourself that the current stack may not even be potent enough to handle ur problems
I have nothing but amazing things to say about dragon and its only been cycle 1 so far
Been thinking wether I should start washout today then in 6 days start Dragon Reborn as I have next week off, so I could explore DR without worrying about work, ect.
Seems like my current stack has shown me all it can, or just seems like it’s gone as far as it will.
Rest day 9, aka washout.
I’m starting my washout. 6 days from now is the 30th when I move on to another title.
Things have been revolving, reading back through the later parts of this journal, there is a lot of repetition. With the help of fellow members I recognize it’s a good time to advance in healing.
This stack helped remover layers of negative thinking.
Anxiety has gone way down
It’s shown me my behavior and where it stems from in my past.
I’ve gained light confidence, enough to walk taller and have better posture.
My sense of personal value increased, enough that I pursued a raise and got it.
I have better emotional organization and control than before I found subclub.
I’d say my neuroticism has decreased a little. I don’t feel as spazzed out as I used to in social situations. I don’t try to avoid interaction as much.
Internally calm, not as noisy inside.
Forgiving attitude towards myself and others. A deeper sense of gratitude for what I have and positive thinking.
For me, healing is #1 and this stack went right to work and I saw immediate changes. Now it’s time to move into deeper, more intense work.
Consider this journal closed, though I may post follow ups during this washout, if anything comes to mind.
…
Addition:
Irritated, like I’m doing something wrong. Deciding to cut my stack short and move onto another title “feels wrong” …why? What’s going on within me that makes me view it like this?
There is this “finish what you started” mantra in my mind. I don’t know what else this stack is supposed to do for me. Feels like I’m fighting with myself internally. I’ve had many, many improvements yet each day, loop or rest I don’t notice anything new. I feel like I’m getting the same message each week. And I don’t feel like I’m addressed anything more than what’s been addressed here.
What’s up with feeling guilty? Why does it feel like I’m trying to make myself regret stopping? Is this a trick.
Hell I don’t even know what I want, Dragon Reborn just seems like healing lvl 2, the next logical step, so what the hell is with all the hesitation? Is this reconciliation? Stonewalling? Or just pure indecision and toxic behavior? Am I trying to self sabotage?
I’m definitely irritated with myself since I made this decision today. This all feels supremely childish.
I’m moving forward anyways, just wanted to document this.
The end of my journal.
Hi Geoff,
this could be fear nothing more. Fear before the next step. You can combine DR with CFW like i do or you can also run three subs like before with DR as the main sub.
Reading your last post i am sure that starting DR is the right choice for you. Moving forward is the way to go. Good luck on your DR journey. 