Back from gym it was legs and upper body.
Upper body was: db shoulder press, chin ups-pull ups and dips.
I increased some reps for pull ups and chin ups it was great but the heighy of bar I’m doing it, is low and I think when I bend my knees it decreases the performance I’m bending when I’m low and straightening when I’m high but I think it’s still not optimal anyway. But when I’m doing dips it hurts.
Im gonna change it to push ups I think dips are overrated I’m not gonna do them anymore.
But normal push ups is not so much efficient. I should add some weights but this is the problem.
Adding plates could be dangerous and it would be uncomfortable. But maybe I may lay under smith machine for this, I will try next time.
Also there are push up variations but I couldn’t find good ones, I mean maybe elevated push ups but probably it hits upper pec more and there is explosive push ups, I don’t wanna deal with advances ones now. Probably I will add weights at gym and at home I can use a bag or I can do explosive push ups.
But also I’m gonna do something for forearms at home.
Its hard and frustrating that deal with dumb, idiot people even it’s worse if they are your family members who you live with. All of them are idiot and lack of grace. Generally they don’t understand kindsess and they do same mistakes same things over and over( I have mistakes too, but what they are doing is about simple things, no need deep thinking)
and it makes me sometimes really pissed off. Lowers me, I need get rid of them, they sometimes behave in a good manner but sometimes in a bad manner, and I don’t want to bear this anymore, before this situation was making confused but now I understand it’s because of them, their idiocy. And they will never ever fix their behaviours, I get it now.
I see this patterns in my father, mother and sister.
Like some minutes ago my sister was begging me for something but 10-15 mins later she started talking me disrespectfully, and I can’t stand this stuff.
I wish I had a more intellectual more intelligent family. And also with my life I’m not doing either and it makes everything worse
Yes clearly, there is something wrong about me. but don’t know right now how I’m gonna solve it, right now I have no momentum toward my lessons. I need to change it. But mentally I’m not good
I was listening some historical things today
I wish I had more time for it.
I’m on washout now.
After wash out I’m thinking running
Khan, Khan Black, GLM for one day
And
Limitless, Emperor Black, Art of Happiness for other day.
Back from gym, little tired but I want more power more strength. I’ve increased chinups to 7-8 reps but I think it’s still low. I have to more focus on gym strength, mentally.
My schedule is.
Monday- chest, back
3day rests
Friday - upper body,legs
3day rests
Tuesday- arms and delts
3day rest
Saturday- upper body, legs.
And goes like this, but sometimes at rest days I’m doing push ups and excercisesy for forearm,neck abs etx
I didn’t understand why the thread closed, I just asked a question. And I liked the replies
Back from gym, it was upper body and legs. Legs were grueling, especially with Bulgarian split squat, bro. It really makes you exhausted.
In the morning I was feeling down, after gym and shower I feel better, but there are problems to solve.
I’m running six subs for a while, but I don’t feel any recon and I don’t see any results. Maybe I’m stonewalling.
The schedule:
1.Khan, Khan Black, GLM
2.rest
3.Emperor Black, Art of Happiness, Hero
…
I bought wanted and ran it.
A few days ago I was not ejaculating for a while(maybe for a week) and after I did I felt my pp was bigger, it was interesting
I’m doing pmo recently, I can’t control my urge. Maybe I have too much sexual energy. Idk. I will drop KB4. I thought maybe I buy fleshlight it might help but Im not sure. I’m gonna run wanted and Art of Happiness for a while that’s sure. But I’m not sure the rest. Should I continue with khan? idk. Should I continue with hero? idk. Should I continue with GLM? Idk. Maybe limitless but it didn’t do anything for me even for the time I study.
I ran wanted today and I went to downtown for shopping 1-2 days later my cousins has engagement ceremony. Ive bought what I had my mind. But I’m gonna buy some jackets too maybe it’s manifestation of wanted. Because I don’t really care about this things, I don’t like buying too much clothings. It’s rare
I’m not fan of games, I get bored easily but this game looks sick. Edgy.
The game from the guys who created Witcher games, I’m excited for this
I’m at relative environment and I’m at a little stress. The stress I feel is about my education status. I will be 22 this May but still I’m not in college.
I don’t know, even if I start to study probably I’m not gonna achieve what I want before but still I have to something otherwise I’m not gonna go to university again then I will work at blue collar slavery job.
I need momentum, but I have no desire zest etc. What can I achieve if I study at maximum, and how can I study at maximum, I’m at home I have no friends around me and it’s hard to study at this conditions. I write this things here but will it change anything. It’s tricky yes I can motivate myself with good words etc but I’ve done this and I failed again.
Good thing is I don’t feel sexual pressure right now.
Probably for the next days I will run,
Khanst3, Wanted, Art of Happiness
Funny thing, before pandemic my goal was to be a computer engineer but at the pandemic my thoughts have changed I began to see this things as a slavery and my motivation for this has disappeared. Now look where I am. I thought at that moment studying business administration would be better for me and I’ve changed my area from math-science to math-literature it’s more easy to compete. But I couldn’t achieved that, its not that I did what needs to be done and I failed, but I couldn’t even fully completed the lessons, so I entered the exams with half knowledge. But even with that I did better than the ones who at my surroundings that they study regularly. I have a potential. But it’s just that. It’s like you have great car but you don’t even take her from garage.
Yes I want it to change but I feel it won’t be.
What are the problems? If I look the situation from top. I want to change direction I’m in, and for this I have to analyze the situation I’m in what can I achieve at best condition, what can happen in a worst situation and what is more likely to be happen.
What I want?
I want to study my lessons at maximum and I want to my best so my heart will feel peace regardless the situation.
Before what can I do this for this, what is preventing me to do it?
If I have to be honest number one thing is Phone.
Phone takes a lots of time and energy even you don’t realize it because you are in it. So what can I do for this and how can I use it more efficiently.
First I need to cut off the time I’m spending with phone, but I can not eliminate entirely.
The most tricky one is this.
What i gain from daily telephone use? If you look the hours I spend, its very low, low ROI.
There are things in my mind that needs to be answered, it might be beneficial for this but do I work for it, no. This one necessary for my mental health otherwise I can’t proceed.
But this creates illusion and it makes me more addictive. Maybe I can wait for the noon that I can use it. Or more.
Because I remember the day I started to study at summer was the I didn’t use phone all day.
This is the first step I’m not sure the others, because right now my vision is not clear.
But I re-started many time then I couldn’t completed the lessons. What if same happens this time too. Yes it might be also more likely but will it be better if you don’t work. No. You will feel like shit when the day come, so weak desperate, but rn I’m relaxed not worried. I don’t even want to think the other situation.
This situation affects me badly I don’t want to talk tomy friends because of it, they text me but I don’t return. I hide, I hide from the world. I was not a person that would be in this situation, but here I am, if someone could time travel to first half of high school and tell me that I will be in this situation, I would laugh hard. I would not in any chance. Because I was religious about my studyings.
If I look to my life its like a joke, a tragicomedy, like a movie but how will it end?
And also beside working out I’m not in action, and in the exam day lifting weights will not save me.
I don’t have purpose and action and this is problem.