Furkan's Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1040

Idk why I did search but I’m probably buy a one I don’t know, it will be blind buy and since I can’t afford originals it will be clone, first I thought aventus or acqua di gio profumo but I read that they are common, I want a unique scent, saw sauvage elxiir idk. I’m now thinking buy initio oud for greatness or Layton. Also saw ysl- la nuit de l’homme but I read that it doesn’t last so long
So I’m undecided now. I will wait but also I’m little frustrated.

But in the first place do I really need them? I’m 21 to this time I haven’t thought about it

#1041

some pain at my shoulder pain.
there are few things in my mind about something, i was thinking to write here while in the gym, but no energy and the thoughts are not organized

#1042

i dont know still about fregrances, how they effect the skin? can cause smell bad if you dont use them, can they change your natural body odor even if for a while.

and for models for perfumes: i could buy lv l’immentise its look like fresh one maybe i could wear at the gym too, and elixir for the winter. but clones one. i dont would i buy them. unnecesseary topic.

#1043

I don’t care about the things I used to care about. weird.

#1044

Khan or Dragon Reborn: Red? i should read the copies again.

#1045

but it take times lol, they are long

#1046
#1047

this muscis are really good

#1048

I feel myself limited, there are some knowledges in my head and I couldn’t process properly. A few days ago I felt myself good, I thought that I got something. Btw I’m in washout it’s the 5th day but I will add a few days because i will run new stage for khan and khan black.
i tried finish something faster because i thought it was long. But probably I’m getting it now that less is more, you don’t need lots of knowledge now first play with the information that you have, process it properly. without understanding properly without deep thinking, more knowledge don’t make you wiser, because you can’t integrate it. Now things seems more complicated and I’m tired. But i don’t wanna rest. And it makes it more complicated

#1049

i found stupid some teachings that say, world is a prison you should escape, ascend, Kali Yuga etc don’t give emphasize to physical. Shut up bro, shut the fuck up. i think this teachings are problematic
They teach as if physical separate from spiritual

#1050

i don’t feel good or bar, but i don’t feel good though.
But i will be good.

#1051

Time

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to

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Understand, understand
relax

1 Like
#1052

I’m placing conditions to my happiness

1 Like
#1053

I’m doing some gardening stuff, tiring, for a few days actually with beginning of the washout, i feel pretty same: not good, i feel exhausted, frustrated before this i was more joyful. Will i be good Today

#1054

i worked from 6:00 to 14:30 at the garden it was tiring and there were lots of negative things in my mind. insecurities, now I’m more normal

#1055

attention, i ignored this. where does my attention go? bring it back. where does my attentin go, i havent aware that, is it going for greatness? if its not how can i be a great man and achieve my dreams?
i saw a thread now that saint and fire talk about new updates etc, i havent read all of them bcs it was long, but i read sentence that sanit mentioned he had kidney stone, i thought why, he mentioned he was martial artist so assume that he had healty body but kidnye stone why? i actually havent thought about kidney stone didnt hear so much about this. anyway

#1056

we always see happiness as result, outcome but what if is a starting point for actual results for magical things, looking for things to be happy will always make you dependent and slave to the things, how can neediness can produce results, how can a man be needy for the things?

#1057

i need to re-think deeply something about my life

#1058

i dont know, im bored with life, what keeps me stand is gym and my hopes, but i dont know, dont know even what to write,
my sense of power is not stable sometimes i feel low and sometimes not, but its not grouding still cahnging, its asctually not bad but now I need precision. im 21 and still im not in the life, i dont live the life, this is the game and i cant escape and i dont want to lose this game but if i look to my inside, i feel that i accept this failure, loss early and i dont even remember it when it occured. why do i live? why? for what? i feel so lonely. i was going to write more but i forgot that

#1059

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Pendulum swings