From Zero to Hero (but I'm not running Hero lol)

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#1

So, after a lot of FOMO and pointless sub-hopping, time to settle.
I have autism, chronic fatigue and pretty severe demand avoidance, which makes taking action really challenging.
I tried to run Emperor, but found the push to action from that just massively flared up my demand avoidance and I ended up doing nothing, even stopping the things (like going to the gym regularly) that I’d been doing prior to starting Emperor.
I was running Paragon Sleep prior to, and during my Emperor run.
But again, with my demand avoidance flared up (which puts my already dysregulated nervous system into peak stress mode), my sleep, which had improved, also tanked.

It was all getting quite out of hand, so I decided to cut my losses and just change stack.
I spent ages thinking, considering, planning and bugging Support with questions, and finally have a stack of 3 customs. I want and plan to stick to this for at least 4-6 months.

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#2

So, the new stack is as follows:
Paragon Sleep custom:
Paragon Sleep (2026) core
Asclepius
Heracles
I.Q and Cognitive Booster
Inexhaustible
Pragya
SPS: Endocrine System
SPS: Skeletal System
Serum X
Sun-Kissed
The Aligner
The Merger of Worlds
Synergy: Harmonic Conflux
Synergy: Semper Praesens

PEACE custom:
PEACE core
Essence: Endless Summer
Aura of Wealth
Financial Success Reality Shifter
Fortune’s Favourite
Free Pass
Gratitude Embodiment
Joie de Vivre
Sultan
Virtuoso di Musica
Synergy: Voice is the Law
Synergy: Wonders of Life

Wanted & Diamond custom:
Wanted (2025) core
Diamond core
Essence: The Clear Note
APS: Hair
Auric Overdriver
Elegance
Ethereal Presence
Male Enhancement
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
Sensuality & Handsomeness Improver
Sexiness Unbound
Synergy: Ambrosia
Synergy: Beyond Seduction
Synergy: Perfection Manifestation

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#3

Honestly, I will probably find it tough enough to keep maintaining this journal as it is, due to my demand avoidance. It’s not really intended as a public forum as such, more a place to just record noteworthy things so that I can keep track of my progress (or lack thereof, but hopefully this won’t be the case!).
If you feel you have valuable advice to offer, feel free to reply here though :slight_smile:

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#4

So, prior to starting the new stack, did a 5 day washout.
Cutting off from Paragon Sleep screwed up my sleep even further.
Been averaging about 5 hours a night.
Did 30s of PEACE custom upon waking on the 6th day.
Did 30s of Paragon Sleep custom around 6pm same day.
Slept for 9 hours without waking. Miraculous.
Mood was really good that day and the next day.

I’m also consciously choosing to say (in my mind or out loud) all kinds of things that I’m grateful for throughout the day (I started trying to do this just before I started running this new stack, so the day before yesterday I think). This is because:

  1. It can improve mental health and I’ve been struggling with depression on and off for a while. Mostly recovered, but recon and demand avoidance trigger it.

  2. I’ve read it can assist with manifestation

  3. for both of the reasons above, along with supporting the Aura of Wealth module, I added the Gratitude Embodiment module to this custom, so it’s my way of taking action towards the goals of those two modules.

I’m also trying a kind of manifestation experiment I’ve read about, where I speak about things I’m grateful for and happy about, as if they’ve already happened (even though the opposite may be true).
For example “I’m so happy that I have abundant wealth and can comfortably afford to buy myself the new laptop I need”.
As per Support’s advice, if doing this gives me a positive feeling and mood, I’ll continue. If it triggers recon or demand avoidance (due to incongruity), then maybe I’ll stop :slight_smile:

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#5

First two days were great for mood, and sleep on the first day was great.
Day 2 (a rest day), I went to sleep and just got about 5-6 hour’s sleep.
Woke up feeling low mood and exhausted (chronic fatigue).
Did 30s of the Wanted & Diamond custom a while after waking.
Not been feeling good today, but just kind of puttering around, trying to practice some self-care.

#6

I seem to remember reading some guidance from SaintSovereign somewhere not that long ago (meaning advice given in the recent ZPU build and title era).
He said if you’re following the 3 stack listening protocol, but wish to listen to one of the titles on BOTH of the listening days, you could listen to that title on both of the listening days, but reduce the listening duration (for that particular title) by half.
So for example:
Day one: 15 seconds of Paragon Sleep, 30 seconds of Title 2.
Day two: rest day
Day three: 15 seconds of Paragon Sleep, 30 seconds of title 3.

So I think that’s what I’m going to do with Paragon Sleep, unless/until I get to the stage where its effects are being felt across ALL days, not just the listening days. I’m assuming this is just part of the process of integrating the scripting.

#7

Day 4… sleep not good (5-6 hours I’d guess).
Felt tired.
I jumped straight into 30s loops for my new stack, since I’d run all the titles before.
But I think that may have been unwise. I remember feeling quite exhausted and low mood after my first loop of Wanted & Diamond, although that may have been down to poor sleep lol.

Anyway, decided to switch down to 15s loops.
Did 15s of PEACE custom in the morning, went out for a medical appointment and then went to meet someone afterwards.
I noticed on the bus, there was a child loudly wailing and screaming and kicking the wall, for about 20 minutes of my journey. With autism, I’m very sensitive to sounds, and in particular, babies or children making that kind of noise usually shoots my stress levels up every time.

But this time, the noise just kind of washed off of me for the most part, and I didn’t feel my tension and stress rising, which would be my normal response. PEACE in action methinks :slight_smile:
Very welcome indeed!

Listened to 15s loop of Paragon Sleep custom around 7pm.
Notic

#8

Day 5 (rest day).
Slept about 8-9 hours and woke up feeling alright (that’s a pretty good day for me lol).
Can feel ‘The Mirror King’ effect from Wanted kicking in.

I’d been running Wanted for a few months, but dropped it to try Emperor.
For various reasons Emperor didn’t agree with me.
During that Emperor run, the ‘Mirror King’ effect disappeared completely and I often felt unattractive when looking in the mirror.

But back on Wanted now, and even though it’s just been a couple of loops, I’m noticing that I am feeling more attractive when I see myself in the mirror.
Great stuff.

Random thoughts of my father’s death a couple of months ago and thoughts of my first love started popping into my mind along with some painful memories, that seemed to pass and settle of their own accord.
More Peace at work? :slight_smile:

#9

Day 6 (Wanted & Diamond)
Woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep until around 6am and then just drifting in and out of light sleep I think.
Woke up again at 8.30am.
Mood not great (although not very bad either).
Listened to Wanted & Diamond custom, 15s around 4am before eventually going back to sleep.

Interesting. I was dreaming (or half-awake daydreaming) about an ex-gf and felt what I suppose would be described as a surge of sexual energy to the genital region. This happened twice in about a 1 hour period.
That’s straight out of the Diamond playbook lol. Good stuff :slight_smile:

#10

I should add that this is especially good, because my current gf doesn’t live with me and rarely comes over to stay (one or two nights every 2-6 weeks) and I can’t stay with her because (reasons lol).
But I’m trying not to masturbate in the meantime and she hasn’t stayed over for about 6 weeks now (work reasons mainly) so I am quite sex-deprived.
And stopped feeling horny most of the time and stopped getting morning wood.

So this thing with Diamond this morning was a nice reminder that Diamond (and Wanted) are still there, quietly doing their thing in the background and I have no need to worry about this :slight_smile:

#11

That actually reminds me, I’ve read about semen retention and stopping PMO.
I personally love the feeling of ejaculating from a BJ or sex.
So not sure if I can (or want to) do semen retention lol.

But then again, the benefits touted for doing so sound fantastic so…
Hmm…

Also, with regards to PMO (watching porn and masturbating to orgasm), sometimes when I’m horny, I’ll just bring to mind the memories of recent sex with my gf and then masturbate to orgasm.
I wonder if this is considered a negative thing (like PMO) in that I’m not physically with a woman and I’m masturbating to orgasm.

But at the same time, I am also thinking about a real recent encounter with my real-life gf and drawing excitement from that rather than the on-screen porn of a stranger. And also, because I’m thinking about my gf, I also have emotions coming up and a feeling of connection, even though it’s only me in the room lol.

So I don’t know if that’s considered an ‘ok’ and healthy thing to do or not?
Must research this sometime :slight_smile:

#12

I’ve been thinking about this a bit in the last couple of days especially, since I heard a new Khan Black would be released… Looking forward to reading about it, and thinking about if it could (or indeed should) be integrated into my stack!

#13

Day 7 (Rest day)

Listened to Paragon Sleep custom at 7pm last night.
Maybe too late; couldn’t fall asleep until around 3am, and then woke up from a bad dream at 4.30am.
Haven’t been able to get back to sleep.
Feel like death, and all my plans for today have gone up in smoke.
Sigh… :sweat:

#14

that’s just 90 minutes of sleep.
Even by my recent standards, that’s impressively diabolical.
I appear to have hit rock bottom, pulled out a spade, and started digging :sweat_smile:

#15

Tried to go back to sleep around midday (been up since 4am) but couldn’t fall asleep :sweat:
Maybe I’ll try again around 4pm…

#16

On the other hand, it’s been a good opportunity to practice some self-care.
I’ve started reading a new series on my Kindle and indulged myself in that today, plus some nice food and good music. Relaxing is nice and I’m only slightly guilty about doing so, despite knowing that with 90mins sleep, the day is a write-off anyway :slight_smile:

#17

Day 8 (Peace custom)
Got a good night’s sleep last night, finally :sweat_smile:
Listened to 30s of Peace custom first thing in the morning.
Felt good mood most of the day. Occasional thoughts of gratitude popping up, as well as thinking consciously about things to feel grateful for :slight_smile:

Had to spend time in noisy and stressful environments and situations which would normally leave me very stressed and drained, but glad to report that I felt quite calm and chilled throughout :slight_smile:

#18

I’ve been doing this daily for over a year and I can attest it does make mental health better immensely. Andrew Kap wrote about this in the most useful way imo in both “just feel good” and “the last law of manifestation you’ll ever need” I wish you get all the benefits that you wish for from this

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#19

Day 9 (Rest day)
Got about 6 hour’s sleep. With chronic fatigue, that’s not good enough sadly.
Nonetheless, my mood is ok. I had a period of internal resistance when I woke up (just be lazy, don’t go out, don’t face the things you don’t want to do, etc etc).
But I pushed myself, got washed, shaved and out of the house to go buy groceries.

Not feeling particularly attractive, but I guess not feeling unattractive either.
Sort of neutral today.
Did some gratitude thoughts and taking a longer breath out occasionally.

#20

I’m wondering what might happen if you listened to one of your customs for a cycle.

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