It almost feels like I know I am working something out, because I feel a detached intense pressure in heart area, its like i have an armor softening the blow, but my mind doesn’t feel like identifying and telling the story behind this feeling.
Its either that or
Its almost like I am a level 5 character battling a level 15 emotional big bad, but I have this inner level 20 ancient dragon telling me, I got this, I appreciate the effort, but you just go chill or have fun in the spa. We can train later and level you up once this threat is neutralized.
Or a combination of the two where I am fighting it alongside the dragon, but realize I am way over my head and conjure up the spa in the middle of the battle, enter the door travel into a new dimension and this just keeps going back and forth.
I LOVE the spa feature. Oh man its easily the best thing of all subs. It even slightly beats the insane magnetic lust of PN. I can actually visualize it, smell it, feel the warm or cold waters, pretty easily and just settle in.
The after taste: It is real hard though battling my instincts to stress about everything and push myself and it feels wrong to let go, but that spa is so enticing.
Also I have a slightly lesser desire for mountain dew and a higher desire for ice cold water. But again it feels so wrong. This makes sense because I have definitely intentionally used dew to just get through something unpleasant as well as for good times.
This is 30s and in a custom paired with PN
Here’s another massive thing that’s never happened before. My mind is starting to tell itself it doesn’t need to increase loops or lust to listen to them. Its like, take it easy, its a journey, not a destination.
Also there’s the very real recon of the Mind really fighting back against the sub itself because it doesn’t want to relax
It is really hard to put into words. The most confusing feeling I have ever felt running a sub.


