I’d love to have a vacation right now. It’s been such a long time.
Just as when I was hearing a great musical performance a month or so ago, I wouldn’t allow my internal turmoil ruin the moment. It was too good to pass up. Enjoy friend.
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Travel update
Stewardess on my first flight. I was checking her out. Didn’t think much of it. A few hours into the flight she’s coming through and collecting trash and bends over, pressing her butt into my arm. I didn’t react. At first I was like, “honest mistake.” But no, it wasn’t a mistake, she lingered, her ass pressed against my arm, for a good 5 seconds (an eternity for me) she knew what she was doing.
An hour later, she came by and whispered something in German as she gave me my coffee.
Didn’t take action, and I’ll never repete this mistake again. It was my chance to join the mile high club. Here’s what I know about the universe: if I can manifest it once, I can manifest it twice. There is no such thing as “one shot.” That’s not how manifestation works. The more you manifest, the more you manifest. So long as you don’t fuck it up with weird thoughts, your powers only grow.
It was still a win, an absolute win that has set the tone for the next 2 weeks.
It made me realize in an instant that Americans are a little bit different than their European friends. I’d always heard that Americans are prudes, now I see it. It was so jarring because I’ve never had such a direct advance in America, and I’ve had some pretty direct advances.
So, the subliminals have worked wonders on me over the last year. I’ve absolutely reached a level that I never imagined, now for the next level. This is why I had to take this vacation, I had to leave my comfort zone and discover just how much I’ve grown.
The Next Level
Wanted has made me Wanted. I get a lot of attention, even in my small town where people are more skiddish. However, due to personal inhibitions, in the last year, I’ve only sealed the deal 4 times. There are many reasons why I’ve only sealed the deal 4 times, all of them were/are mental–blocking the subliminal’s expression from too much experimentation, falling in love, and feeling guilty.
I’m still in love, but the guilt is gone because I’ve done right by her, I’ve healed the wounds, and forgiven myself.
Today, I’m ready to become the Wanted man. I’m single, I’m free, there is no one I’m committed to, and the girls back home (responding to my energy cultivated from the subs) know that I’m a player and they expect me to do what I’m about to propose. Well, here’s my chance. Single, American, alone, and in Europe.
The Goal
The goal is to sleep with as many women as possible, as many times as possible–to fully expand, to push all personal limitations, to fulfill my destiny as the Wanted man.
Based on how women react to me, I know I’m ready. The subs are ready, all I have to do is let go into the whirlwind of plesure and become what I’ve always known I could become: the devil, the seducer.
I will set no numbers, I won’t limit the universe. My intention is clear: sleep with as many women as possible.
My why? Because this is how I heal, this is how I become a fully realized man. Free of fear, free of inhibitions, free of social conditioning. This is how I claim my freedom.
For love.
For freedom.
For healing.
For abundance.
For all of you.
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You’ve given me a mantra, brother. Don’t let the inner turmoil ruin the moment. What counts isn’t how you feel, it’s what you do.
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Travel Journal 2
I made it to my destination, but not without some waves. The airline lost my bag. I remember thinking of “Meet the Parents”" while traveling. In that movie, the airline lost the protagonist’s bag, which, set set up the trouble and redemption arc of the film. A quiet voice in my head kept thinking that the airline might lose my bag.
I get to Italy, and my bag is lost…was this a psychic premonition, or did I allow it by not challenging the thoughts? Both?
I spent 30 euros on a phone charger…only to learn that it didn’t work, that ate into my meager budget.
My first evening in Rome was filled with anxiety and exhaustion. I wandered the streets in a mile radius around my hotel for about 4 hours alone.
I haven’t left small town America in years and I’ve never been totally alone like this, I felt very alone, crushingly alone. It made me realize that the life I’ve built for myself in my home town is something I should be far more grateful for, but it also made me realize that I’ve never felt these feelings before.
Wondering around, people watching, catching eyes with pretty girls, unable to speak even the most basic Italian, I realized I’m a fish out of water. “Idiot abroad” was something that went through my head more than once.
After making a few laps around and finding a street with some excitement, I felt vulnerable and turned back. My phone was dying, I was hungry, dehydrated, and the budget was thinning.
I wondered into a restaurant/chocolate shop and got a glass of wine. By that point I was well and truly exhausted and feeling defeated. The whole thing felt like a massive mistake.
The wine gave me some courage and my spirit improved. I wondered from there to a corner store and bought a few lotto tickets, why not? I hope I win something, it would sure help right now.
Then found a second restaurant and sat for a glass of wine and some gnocchi.
Right next to me was an Israeli girl that kept staring at me. I ignored her, but I shouldn’t have. That was the second time I’ve made that mistake and there won’t be a third.
I made it back to my hotel and locked eyes with a girl from Eastern Europe.
That’s the end of day one. I’m tired, I’m lonely, I have only the clothes on my back, but I’ve seen signs that this can work.
I’m going back to bed now, tomorrow, who knows what’s going to happen.
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Travel Journal 3
I’ve been here for 48 hours now. Gods, give me the strength to overcome the demon of fear sucking on my neck.
Travel Journal 4
Demon vanquished. This is day 3. The first two days were fruitful but filled with fear. Fear pervaded all. I didn’t speak to anyone (hardly) and didn’t do too much.
Lastnight, (after having failed to take action for the third time with a woman, clearly showing interest) I went to the bar in the hotel I’m staying at. There was a girl there, drinking alone. She looked at me once or twice covertly. The game was a foot. I ordered a drink and sat behind her. “This is yet another chance, what are you gonna do?” I sat there twiddling my thumbs. I knew what was going to happen, same thing that happened three times in a row, I’d wait too long and lose the moment.
I sat, paralyzed by fear. The voices in my head were screaming, Wanted was screaming. “Make! A! Move!” She got up. Damn it, lost another one. She headed to the bar. “MOVE DAMN IT!” I stood up and followed her over. Bought her a drink…
And…we made love. She’s sleeping in my shirt right now.
Well boys, I did it. I unlocked a new level. Did you hear me? I SAID I WAS GONNA DO IT AND I DID IT! After a year, I’ve finally proved to my subconscious that I can take assertive, masculine action with a woman and be completely safe and successful.
NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED!
Make No Mistake: I Care Not For Sex
This isn’t about sex and it never has been. I know that sounds ludicrous, given my earlier entries, but it’s true. This is about love of myself, and love of women, it’s about growing as a man. Yes, I want to sleep around, but it’s not for sex, it’s for love and to vanquish FEAR. Fear is my enemy. It’s very different to not get laid because I don’t want to, then to not get laid because I’m too scared to talk to women and make the first move.
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Travel Journal 5
The Good
Slept with the girl from the other night two more times. This morning, I made a mistake with her. It wasn’t THAT bad, but it was bad enough. The situation is both understandable and salvageable and was caused by a pretty bad sleep debt and excessive drinking. Given what I uncovered today about the depths of my mental illness and delusions, the situation with her is probably completely fine, to be honest.
When I got back home, I struck up a conversation with a new girl at the hotel, we went on a walk together, even though I was exhausted and miserable, we hit it off. She was super sweet. This time, I don’t think I was too timid, I was just tired on account of the hangover and lack of sleep. She’s leaving in the morning, maybe I’ll get lucky when she gets back. It’s a dance, if she wants to dance, we’ll dance.
I did a lot of Journaling and uncovered a lot about myself today. Much of it was uncomfortable, but seeing the bad is the only way to change it. I also learned how to do a vacation like this the right way. I did it wrong (and that’s on me, but it’s okay). Next time I will stay in hostels, cool hostels, and I’ll do touristy stuff.
Long story short, I didn’t put myself in a good situation to meet people. It’s really hard to meet people when you’re alone and not in good social settings. Wondering into bars isn’t really my style, maybe it never needs to be my style. If I’m in good social settings, all of this is so much easier.
The Uncomfortable
Today has been a rough day mentally. Even though I got laid, even though I went on that date, I’ve had a rough day. It’s just poor health, that’s really all it is. It’s time to quit smoking and be VERY disciplined with alcohol and prioritize sleep.
For ages I’ve known that my brain cannot function optimally with my life style. I’m manifesting mental illness with my poor health practices. For long I’ve tries to ignore it, but I just can’t anymore. I can’t ignore the number of days like today where I feel so damn down and hopeless and can’t seem to find a way to pull myself together. The mind and body are connected, treat the body poorly, the mind suffers.
Looking Forward
I have 3 more days of vacation, time to make it count, time to really make it count.
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Travel Journal 6
Just hours after posting entry 5, I took a nap. When I woke up, I felt SO much better mentally, much of the fog was gone and delusions were gone and I was just able to exist. I felt great, it was like a veil had been lifted.
I knew approximately what time the girl from earlier was getting back, so I got up and went down stairs for a drink.
There was a new girl, sitting in the lobby alone. She was on the phone and looked like she’d been fighting with someone.
The spirit of Wanted told me it’s go time. Alright, I’ll listen.
I walked into the bar, they were closing but the bar tender let me order one drink for myself. Ironically, the bar closing was the perfect opportunity I needed, it forced me into the lobby.
She was sitting on a couch, I sat across from her. We both played on our phones for a bit. I hesitated…shit, she’s putting in her head phones. Wait. She took her head phones back out. MOVE!
“Where you from?” I asked…
And she just left my room, wearing my pants.
So it wasn’t the girl from the date earlier, it was her, this new girl. What a treat.
The Score
Two women, and sex 5 times.
The New Level
I would call this a new level for sure. I had already leveled up, but now I’m distributing my skill points.
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Damn you are such a Casanova or James Bond 
Walked in and just slept with that woman.
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Only took a year of healing with Wanted. 
This technology just blows my mind.
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Incredible, one year seems to be a long time but obviously, it was worth it.
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So worth it man, so freaking worth it. A year of dedicated self development is a drop in the bucket for the rest of my life. Plus, there’s no way I’m stopping now. 
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You have also done one year of Emperor and Daredevil as well?
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I totally agree. Right now when you are satisfied with Wanted, are you going to continue with Wanted or thinking of switching to something else instead?
And also would like to ask, what about physical shifting from Wanted and non-romantic reactions from strangers? Like are they nicer to you? Are you looking much more attractive than a year ago?
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So, I ran Wanted and Emperor (with some short term use of third titles that probably aren’t worth mentioning) and a custom title with DD and PS cores for like 6-8 months or so, consistently. That did a lot of healing and has given me quite a lot. Then I did 2 cycles (I think) of Khan Total Breakdown, which was way too much for me, incongruity, and caused a ton of problems for me.
Then I started this journal following my TB run. So…I haven’t really been tracking since starting this journal in December, but I did I think 1 or 2 cycles with DD, Emp, and Wanted (maybe more) and now I’m on Wanted DD and RICH and have been for at least 2 or 3 cycles.
In short, Wanted and Emperor have been my primary titles for about a year (Wanted being the most run) and I suppose DD and PS cores also
Right now I’m on washout until May 1st (first long washout in a year) and I’m going to continue this journey with Wanted, Daredevil and RICH for the foreseeable future. Maybe another year? The combo works very well for me and is targeting all my priorities with growth in the direction I want and pretty manageable recon.
I also like the person that I keep evolving into, so I see little reason to change subs. Maybe in the future I’d like to run Alchemist, but that will probably be in a couple years after I bump my income above 100k a year.
Wanted Physical and Social Reactions
I’m treated very well by people, male and female, young and old and it’s only increased the longer I’ve used Wanted. People are very kind and warm toward me and (when I take action and heal through fear in the moment) people want to be around me. Just people in general.
Yes, FAR more attractive. I haven’t grown taller yet (this was confirmed by a pharmacy a few days ago where I paid a euro for a height and weight scan. Everything else has improved. I get told constantly that I’m “hot, pretty, beautiful, angelic, nice skin, etc” on a near daily basis. Just had a dude from India a few days ago say “You’re hair is beautiful bro.” On the street…what else…people consistently think I’m a celebrity or model or tell me that I should be one…I lose body fat pretty effortlessly, and even when I’m eating like crap-something I’m prone to do, I’m a binge eater–I don’t gain weight as fast or as easily. My hairline has continued to improve (I take medication for it also).
The only “negative” is that people are often intimidated by me, so I’m not always as approachable as I’d like to be, but I’ve learned that if I lead and take the initiative to talk to people, then the intimidation goes away and people tend to really like my company.
The intimidation could also be my appearance. Heck, I’m still intimidated by pretty girls, hence why it took a year to heal a lot of that negativity and trauma.
The only other odd thing is that people see me as far more attractive than I see myself, but it might just be impostor syndrome.
On the height note, I think now that I’ve healed as much as I have, maybe NOW I’ll see a height increase. To date, my height hasn’t hindered me, which is probably why it hasn’t happened. My subconscious was like: “bro, you want to be taller and you’re too scared to talk to women? GTFO, we got work to do.”
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Forgot to mention, Wanted healed my height insecurity. Did that within the first few cycles. I still want to be taller, but it’s not from a toxic or traumatic place. It’s like how some are happy but want to dye their hair for fun and the love of beauty lol.
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Wou, impressive review of Wanted. Very much like it. You have a very bright future ahead of you and regarding height I would not be bothered by it, I am 170cm or 5’7.
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174cm in blunstones as of yesterday. So 5’8 in flats. Average kings unite!
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Same height as Robert Downey Jr, and he doesn’t seem to mind 
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RDJ is doing JUST fine. 
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