Force in Motion - By Akin

Journals - Major Programs
#175

My guess is that both titles are showing me things I want for myself and ways I need to be that are still very far from my current reality. So the recon is hitting hard because I’m still far from the life I truly want.

Anyway… I’m considering listening to Heart Song. I really want to meet my next partner soon. I want to go straight to what I truly need, because I know Dream Boy can attract all kinds of people, and what I genuinely want is to meet my soulmate and feel the relief of that connection.

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#176

∆ rest day ∆

I’m still testing some subs haha. I’m going to test another one in place of WdB.

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#177

∆ The Ascension 30s ∆
∆ rest day ∆

I experienced a shift around my sexuality — a point of torsion in the quantum field, in the subject that reflects everything I interact with.

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#178

∆ STB 20s + The Ascension 20s ∆
∆ rest day ∆

I had a really nice moment with someone from a place I usually go to. I had always noticed her openness toward me, but this time she said, “Hey, how are you? Wow, you look different. You’re glowing. Are you doing better?”

For some reason, she and two other people thought I had the glow of someone who got laid during the week, or the night before lol. That wasn’t the case. But it was the Ascension glow.

I had a really good vibe with her. We talked, she looked deep into my eyes, and it felt like she was seeing my soul. A gorgeous woman. It was a very meaningful interaction.

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#179

∆ Sed 15s ∆
∆ 2 rest days ∆

Yeah, I did one loop with Seductress, but for some reason I don’t resonate that much with the sub, nor do I respond very well to it. I stopped the tests. I’m going to stay with Ascension, RICH, and Stabilizer, with the main focus on Ascension.

ZPU makes ALL the difference in the REAL integration of a sub — I mean the kind of integration I can actually carry into life, even if I died and couldn’t keep exposing myself to subs “in heaven” anymore lol. I’m saying this because it’s something I genuinely think about: what death and the afterlife would be like if there were no subs to listen to. What would actually be introjected? How would I access those kinds of inner stimuli? Anyway… more philosophical questions.

But I’ll say what happened after Seductress these past few days: my sense of confidence dropped a bit, and I felt more vulnerable to other people’s energy and opinions. On top of that, I felt pulled in many directions, as if the most important thing was giving attention to other people and very little to myself. It wasn’t something I consciously wanted, but something in it makes me respond that way.

I felt my mind being pulled all over the place, with more difficulty focusing, thinking about my projects, and acting assertively even in small things. Very different from the “sealed” feeling in the mind that Ascension and Stabilizer gives me.

I also felt more people-pleasing and less assertive in simply being myself and acting according to what I genuinely felt in the moment. Anyway. I can’t handle long exposure periods with Seductress, and I think it’s because the archetype simply doesn’t CLICK with me. I wish there were other feminine archetypal energies available to experiment with

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#180

∆ The Ascension 30s ∆

Funny enough, all of these subs I listened to that had physical appearance scripts actually produced an effect I didn’t really notice over time, but my thighs are WAY bigger now. To the point where my pants don’t fit anymore and I genuinely need to renew my wardrobe and buy a bigger size because my old clothes simply aren’t fitting.

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#181

∆ The Ascension 30s + Paragon 15s ∆
∆ rest day ∆

It’s crazy having so many subs and needing to choose only three lol. But anyway, I’m still not in the mood for the qstore.

Anyways, my body really needs physical healing right now. I’ve actually been neglecting that for the past 03 years. I have an injury on the left side of my lower back that started spreading and became “chronic.” Over time, the pain moved to other areas too, like my left knee.

Anyway, after the first loop of Paragon, right after the 15 seconds, I felt a very weird energy moving out of my energetic field. The next day, I woke up feeling much more pain in all the areas that were already bad, and that’s when I realized I had completely numbed myself to that discomfort (I think to avoid dealing with how serious it had become).

Throughout the day, I had some insights and went through emotional discomfort connected to the pain, which I believe is an expression of some traumatic events that happened.

Then, the next day, I woke up feeling much better and really seeing the power of it. I believe consistency with this sub can genuinely solve problems at a structural level. Anyway, I hope I can stay more consistent with it.

I’m happy that weird energy was moved out of my emotional body. I have the feeling there are still more layers to uncover.

1 Like
#182

∆ STB 20s ∆
∆ rest day ∆

So, I got pretty emotionally shaken up by the first Paragon loop, along with some more personal events that resurfaced on Monday. In that sense, the Stabilizer loop fit like a glove. I felt more grounded, had a clearer sense of direction, and was able to look at things from a more optimistic perspective while also feeling okay about following fewer paths and making decisions about where and how I wanted to direct my energy in life overall. Stabilizer was really good for helping me regulate emotionally and spiritually.

Besides that, I also had a few dreams about childhood classmates and kids from kindergarten.

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#183

I was watching this today… I made a lot of sense to me.

#184

∆ ASC 30s + RICH 15s ∆
∆ 3 rest days ∆

I swear watching that livestream brought me some very subtle, yet significant, shifts in perception.

Still letting it all settle. The two subs together as well. I’m feeling a mix of peace and dissatisfaction. At the same time, I’m taking care of myself and paying attention to how I see myself, because that’s what shapes everything around me — including how much money I make and the kind of life I feel I deserve to live.

Other than that, I sometimes feel my face “moving.” It happens every now and then. I think it might be related to Ascension’s physical change script. No major physical changes noticed so far, but I do feel that happening from time to time.

3 Likes
#185

∆ ASC 35s + PGN 20s ∆
∆ rest day ∆

I don’t know exactly what happened with this mix during that loop. Paragon seemed to bring a more holistic perspective to Ascension, somehow. It was different. The focus wasn’t even health — it was a lot of things.

I felt a lot of anger as I started seeing various aspects of my life from a holistic perspective, all connected to lies I had believed for so long as if they were truths, things I had accepted as part of who I was when they were nothing more than that: lies. Lies someone told me. Behaviors I adopted because I thought they were genuinely me, simply because someone said so.

It was a crazy experience, but it was literally like getting a nearly 360-degree view of different lies and mistaken beliefs that have been generating undesirable results in my life. I was pissed that I had carried them for so long as if they were mine, and that I had spent so much time disconnected from the possibility that I could actually live different realities.

It was interesting, though, because I experienced real shifts.

I was able to change some things directly at the root using ThetaHealing.

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#186

Do you practice this yourself?